5 signs you’re being too hard on yourself in your online dating

5 signs you’re being too hard on yourself in your online dating

A question we should always revisit regularly – are you being too hard on yourself in your online dating? Rather than striving for it to be perfect, you need to treat your dating like most serious relationships – sometimes exciting, sometimes messy, sometimes disappointing, with moments of joy and fun that make it all worthwhile. Ups and downs are as much a part of dating as any other part of your life, so check out these five signs you’re being too self critical.

being too hard on yourself

You blame yourself for bad dates

In dating we all have dates that we’d rather forget. But if you find that you’re constantly telling yourself it’s your fault they didn’t work out, you need to go easy on yourself! There can be all sorts of reasons why a date with someone you’ve met online doesn’t go right – lack of chemistry, having nothing in common, having a full blown disagreement, or maybe they were just a total dick. Yes that’s right – chances are the issue was theirs, not yours. Plus there could be all sorts of things going on in their life that you weren’t aware of. Work on boosting your self confidence and you’ll find that it’s easier to shrug off bad dates and accept that it wasn’t your fault.

You have set yourself dating ‘targets’ like meeting ‘The One’ by the end of the year

Are you one of those people who goes into online dating with all sorts of arbitrary deadlines and targets in your head? For example, you set yourself a goal that you will meet Mr or Mrs Right by the end of this year, or that you have to go on a minimum number of dates per month? This approach is very hard on you, because it puts you under pressure, sets you up for disappointment and will make you feel bad about yourself if you don’t meet the targets you have set yourself. Plus you’re going to strip all the fun out of what should be an exciting, cool experience. You need to chill out and go with the flow – you’ll find that you’re actually more likely to meet that special person if you’re much more relaxed and easy going about the whole thing.

You’re apologetic about things in your dating profile

If you’re being an authentic and honest dater, then you should be truthful about your passions in your dating profile. If you love unusual pastimes like trampolining, weaving or making sausages, then own it! Don’t arrive on your date and spend the evening making excuses for the things that make you interesting and unique. Those are exactly the sort of conversation starters that open minded, exciting people will want to chat to you about. So for example, when asked what you’re into, don’t start your reply with “I know it’s weird, but…”. Be confident about all your weird and wonderful interests and you’ll find that actually you’re a tremendously interesting person to go on a date with. Love yourself and others will too!

being too hard on yourself

Your photos present an ‘airbrushed’ version of you

Your dating photos should be as natural as possible and present a true, authentic version of you. They should capture your personality and tell your story. If you opt for dating photos that don’t quite tell the truth – perhaps they are heavily photoshopped or taken in a studio with lots of professional lighting, then you’re presenting an airbrushed version of you to potential dates. This means you’re putting yourself under enormous pressure to live up to the glamorous person you’ve presented. It’s very important that you look like your photos when you turn up to a date and that the other person doesn’t feel deceived. Isn’t it much more honest to give your dates a sense of what it’s really like to hang out with you day to day? We’re not saying you shouldn’t look good in your dating photos – far from it, but you should show off ‘you on a good day’, (not a version of you that can only be achieved in a studio with professional hair and make-up).

Your compare yourself negatively to others

This one is a big no-no but increasingly hard to avoid in this world of social media and constant updates from friends. Browsing social media can make you feel that everyone else has their life completely sussed out except for you – it seems everyone else has the perfect job, love life, relationship and work/life balance. But when you see that selfie of your friend sipping an avocado and turmeric smoothie after their 7am yoga workout, you’d do well to remember that it’s not the whole story. We’re all constantly being encouraged to cherry pick the best bit of our lives and put them online, while no one talks about the bad bits. So remember that everyone who is doing online dating has disappointments, heartbreak and dates that don’t work out. And everyone is getting ghosted. They’re just not posting it online. So give yourself a break!

To help you be less self critical, book a shoot with Hey Saturday and we’ll make you feel like a million bucks.

 

Cool words by Lauren, sassy photos by Saskia for Hey Saturday, London

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
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✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
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What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
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Love this tried and tested hack for our clients who aren’t feeling ‘enough’ the day of their dating photoshoot. The moment they take hold of something that brings them joy - their camera, their yoga mat, their boxing gloves, their paintbrush or whatever it may be - they immediately relax, smile and feel at ease with themselves. I love this moment so much and it creates such great profile pics ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
These dating photos are so my jam. I’m adoring the bold colour and variety of backgrounds. Shouts out to Suze, who shot these on the streets of Clifton Village in Bristol. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
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+ Take up space in the frame + Taking up a lot of physical space in the frame instantly makes you more attractive to others…. …Researchers discovered that open body language or “expansive postures” conveys both confidence as well as a sense of openness. People are more likely to come across as warm, friendly, trustworthy as well as comfortable in their own skin - great for dating pics ✨ You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
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It’s soooo important to get your self-talk right on a dating photoshoot… I mean nobody’s perfect but dang do we all fall short so beautifully 🔥🔥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Brighton dating photoshoot 🔥🔥 I was lucky enough to head to Brighton this week and catch up with one of our Brighton photographers, Lauren … & I gotta tell you, it's a dang-good gorgeous place for a dating photoshoot. Check out these cool shots from Lauren, who transforms the streets into a Hey Saturday playground. Loving the colour, personality and vibrance. Photo credit: Lauren for Hey Saturday, Brighton You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Never underestimate the power & magic of goofing off during your dating photoshoot. It helps create the best profile pics & usually means you end up having a good time 😆 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest… & er goofiest dating photoshoots 🔥 *Filmed by @northernmunki #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #goofingoff #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages