What really matters to you in life? What’s important to you?
Showing up authentically on your dating photoshoot and in your dating life is the biggest gift you can give yourself.
It enables you to meet and connect with people on a deeper level. Imagine - no pretence and no games 🙌🏽
And it all starts with knowing yourself better.
I reckon a good starting place is writing out a list of all the things in life that are important to you.
We encourage our clients to do this ahead of their dating photoshoots.
It helps you get to the heart of what you want out of life, what you want out of your love life.
Knowing ourselves is a life-long process but it’s so good to check in on ourselves often, especially when we’re starting big things like online dating.
And by taking the time to think about it and let us, your photographers know, it helps us more easily create dating profile pictures that represent what you stand for. What you’re about. What makes you unique and special.
On my List of Stuff I Care About, I have: - being creative - keep on learning & growing - love & connection - being physically active - helping people - finding peace in nature
My dating profile pictures might then include me taking photos or painting, reading a self-help book or studying, walking or meditating in nature. I might wear my jumper with the word ‘love’ on it. I might be drinking tea in front of a cafe with friends (who aren’t actually in the pic). When planning your shoot, your list acts as a guide to make sure you’re telling people something meaningful about you.
I’m taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to celebrate my dad’s 90th birthday 🎉
He taught me the meaning of unconditional love, the importance of searching out an unselfish life partner, the importance of committing to a healthy lifestyle and the importance of living a life of courage - choosing to marry my mum at a time when interracial relationships were still illegal in many places.
I feel incredibly lucky to have such a kind, loving and courageous dad 🎉
I love it when our clients are happy to reveal elements of who they are and what they're about in their profile pictures. You bring the energy and authentic vibes, we'll bring the photo talent and good times.
Huge shout out to Nicole for these gorgeous shots.
I talk a lot on here about the importance of creating visually compelling dating photos. But creating emotionally compelling dating photos is important too.
The ideal dating profile is both visually and emotionally compelling.
But how can you create an emotionally compelling profile?
Well a good starting place is asking yourself this question. How do you want to make them feel when they look at your profile?
Do you want them to feel happy, optimistic, inspired, energetic, calm, playful, entertained, warm, loving, goofy, serious, welcome, awed.. or my personal favourites intrigued & delighted?
Wanna try? Write down a few words that sum up what you want to evoke in them when they look at your profile pictures.
Now you have a starting point from which to build on.
If you've written down words like happy, inspired, playful, warm - then keep these in mind, when creating your profile photos. Lead by example. You'll need to be channelling these emotions in the photos as they're being taken. Choose outfits, backdrops, colours and props that align with the vibe you're aiming to portray.
In your bio, think about the words you're using and how you're using them. Instead of telling people about you in a linear way, try telling a story. A genuine story that makes YOU feel something. Chance are, they will feel it too.
The minute you make someone feel something - something that they want to be feeling, you’ve created a meaningful connection.
And your dating profile, in essence, is a tool to help you build these connections.
Oh hello! Just heard from LoveConnection.org that we’re at number 5 in the relationship blog charts in the US. 5 out of 100. Hot dang 🏆🔥✨ Feeling that. And a huge Hey Saturday shout out to @laurenpsyk for contributing such quality articles over the years helping make the blog such a success 👏🏽👏🏽
Since I decided to start my days from a place of appreciation these days, I’m definitely much happier for the rest of the day.
For the love of dating photos, you're going to want to see what came in the mail. I’m loving this client’s vibe. Check out this set of all new profile pictures fresh in from DUMBO. All Kinds of awesome. Huge Hey Saturday shouts out to Alison.
Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City
When it comes to your dating life, what stories are you telling yourself?
All the good ones are already married, so it’s unlikely I’ll meet anyone worthwhile? • I’m too old for this sh*t? • I’m not where I want to be in life, so no one is going to be into me? • Dating is such a chore, I just want it to be over? • I have so much going on at work, I don’t have time to meet anyone?
It’s worth being mindful of the stories you create for yourself around your dating experiences. I know, from my own experiences, that they can hold you back.
In my early days of online dating, I used to tell myself that because I’m a bit of an introvert who’d lived on my own for many years, I couldn’t imagine finding someone I could handle living with. Surely they’d drive me up the wall, just by being in my space... never mind all the change they’d bring into my routine!
After some years of this, I came to realise that this wasn’t helpful thinking. I seemed to be attracting guys who would do just that & feed into my negative bias. And then the more that happens, the more you want to believe your story, of course.
I was repeating this story many times to friends and family and it dawned on me that perhaps I was creating my own negative outcome. The more I spoke this ‘truth’, the more men came along who lived up to it.
I needed to test out a new approach. I decided i needed to change tactics and see if I could attract a better result.
I dropped that story and instead told myself, that when I met someone who was a good fit for me, our lives would mesh together beautifully.
I’ve lived with Giles now for 10 out of the 12 years we’ve been together and our lives mesh together beautifully. I’m pretty certain that I wouldn’t have attracted him into my life with my old, unhelpful narrative holding me back.
What I love about helping our clients visually share their story in their profile pictures, is that it actively encourages them to step back from their busy lives for a hot moment and look more deeply into their values, their lifestyle, passions and vibe.
If you roll with it, it can become a perfect opportunity for reflection and growth as you take a moment to think about what you’d like your dating app photos and profile to say about you.
It’s a gift in a way.
An opportunity to get closer to figuring out who you are, who you want to be, what you want and, crucially, who you want to be with on this journey. This feels pretty cool to me. It’s not easy and I know there are clients who push back. But it can be the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself and for your love life ✨
Gotta say we love a pup in our dating photoshoots (unless they're really naughty 🙈). In fact, there's nothing J'adore more than puppy shots. Brava Nicole for creating this cool set. I hope this puppy was a well-behaved one lol.
✨ The Unexpected Benefit of Dating During a Pandemic ✨
Online dating is challenging at the best of times... but throw in a highly contagious, deadly virus, confusing government directives & national social distancing mandates & it’s no wonder people have been struggling since the start of the pandemic.
Because of this, over the last year, there have been shifts in how people approach dating... but could they, despite everything, actually be beneficial?
Trust has taken on a whole new significance. People are having to weigh their emotional and physical needs against (life and death) safety concerns.
With this in mind, it’s not a surprise that research is demonstrating that people are craving deeper connections with the people they’re meeting online.
For anyone who is over hook ups and looking for lasting relationships, this is good news.
People are asking themselves questions like ‘is this someone I could handle another lockdown with?’.
Many people are being more intentional about who they spend time with. And lockdown has taken away the noise and craziness of regular life, opening up space to get to know the people we’re dating in a different way. People are focusing on getting to know them emotionally and mentally before connecting physically.
Many are shifting into slow dating, it seems, and research is suggesting this may last long after lockdown has ended.
*this is an excerpt of a blog post I’m writing about the unexpected benefits of dating during a pandemic. I’ll share the link when it’s done, if you’re interested 👀