Creating Profile Pictures That Visually + Emotionally Tell Your Story

Creating Profile Pictures That Visually + Emotionally Tell Your Story

How you show up online matters. How you show up on dating apps matters even more.

Photos are a powerful tool for communicating, but have you stopped to consider what it is you’re communicating. Put it this way. A handful of poorly chosen pixels on your profile could, potentially, derail your love life and hold up your happily ever after. Wait, what? 😱

But read on for peace of mind. Profile pictures are our bread and butter. We eat, sleep, live and breath dating profile pictures. Some have even said we elevate the dating pic to an art form… (thank you @thefabkara 🙏🏽).

profile pictures

But what does that mean, an art form? What are we trying to accomplish with the dating profile pictures we so lovingly craft with our clients.

Dating profile pictures are more than the outfit, the location, the colours, the props. They are about you. The powerhouse underneath it all. They are about the impact you have and the way you move through the world.

Our sole purpose (and indeed our soul purpose) in life is to create a series of profile pictures that gives people – both visually and emotionally – an insight, or a snapshot, of what it would be like to date you. What it would be like to be in a relationship with you. Once you connect with people on a visual and emotional level, you’re more likely to intrigue them. Your series of profile pictures, when created intentionally, should take people on a whistle stop tour of your vibe, your personality, your passions, your strengths… your story. Well, some of your story at least. The highlight reel. Include the things you love about yourself, the things that matter to you, the things that make you stand out from others.

Time to grab the controls

It’s worth knowing, that every photoshoot tells a story about you, whether you are aware of it or not. So it’s much better to grab the controls and make sure you’re in charge of the messaging you’re sharing rather than leaving it up to people to make up their own mind about you.

And the more real, the more authentic, you get when sharing your story, the easier it’ll be to attract more of your kind of people and connect with them in a more meaningful way. This in turn leads to better quality matches and a happier dating life. You’ll find that this could mean less drama, less ghosting, less juggling, less hook ups, less superficial connections.

For those of you who want to avoid all that drama and start to connect more deeply with like-minded people who resonate with your vibe, then opening up and getting ‘realer’ (is that a word?!) is the way forward.

profile pictures

Visual Storytelling – but why are we so obsessed?

But why are we so invested in visual storytelling? What does it actually mean?

We think of visual storytelling as a kind of dating photo superpower. It’s a really cool way to share a lot of information at a glance. And let’s face it, oftentimes a glance is all we have to make an impact.

Why does visual storytelling work so effectively?  Images and narratives are both, in their own rights, powerful ways of communicating. We’re putting them together and creating a double whammy, if you will. When done well, with clients who are willing to put in some effort and are open to sharing their truth, you know it’s going to be crazy hard to scroll past those bad boys.

Firstly, our brains are hardwired for visual content. They process visual content at an incredibly high speed. In fact, sight is the primary way we navigate the world.  And just check out the following.

Recent statistics show that:

  • Articles with images get 94% more views than their visual-lacking counterparts.

  • Coloured visuals increase people’s willingness to read a piece of content by 80%.

  • Tweets with images receive 150% more retweets than tweets without images.

  • Facebook posts with images see 2.3 times more engagement than those without images.

  • Marketers who use video grow revenue 49% faster than non-video users.

  • The average user spends 88% more time on a website with video.

  • Video will be part of 80% of all internet content by 2019.

(Via: Jeff Bullas and Crackitt)

And, secondly, our brains are hardwired to love stories.

As human beings we are programmed for stories. They’re part of who we are. It’s how we evolved to understand our place in the world before we had written language, how we passed on lessons to others and how we built relationships within our tribes and our families. As human beings, we’re programmed to respond to stories.  Essentially our brains run on electrical pulses, and when we hear stories our brains literally light up. I love that idea. Imagine if people who are looking at your photos are lighting up as they see them! Fantastic.

We believe that when stories are told meaning is made.

Our aim is to empower you to discover your personal story and intentionally share it so that you can connect more easily with your tribe on dating apps.

profile pictures

The Power of Authenticity

Great photos attract attention. Authentic ones keep it.

People who use misleading dating profile pictures to secure dates, rarely get a second date. No one likes to feel deceived, especially when looking for love. So it’s really important to create photos that represent where you are in your life and what you look like at the time of dating.

But if possible, you can take it a step further than that.

Can we take a moment to talk authenticity? We really encourage you to be bold and show up authentically for your dating photoshoot. But what does that actually mean and why do we want you to do that, more to the point?

It means rocking up for your photoshoot with the intention of revealing some real genuine things about yourself. It means expressing yourself. Bringing elements of who you are – your strengths, your talents, the things that matter most to you.

You’ve taken the risk to put yourself out there on a dating app. We already know you’re courageous. But you want to do more than just show up briefly in people’s feeds or timelines. You want to reach potential matches. You want them to connect with your profile. And you want to build on meaningful connections.

Showing up authentically on your dating photoshoot and in your dating life is the biggest gift you can give yourself. It enables you to meet and connect with people on a deeper level. Imagine no pretence and no games 🙌🏽   Keep this in mind as you start to plan your photoshoot.

Visually + Emotionally Compelling Profile Pictures

OK, so you know why storytelling is important and why showing up authentically is the way forward to find better matches and create more meaningful connections.

But where do you start? We see it as a three step process:

  • know yourself
  • express yourself
  • celebrate yourself

Know Yourself

Putting together an authentic narrative requires you to know yourself

We want to encourage and help you create compelling personality shots in the easiest, most accessible and fun way possible. But preparing to tell your story will require a bit of effort upfront. It requires a moment of self-awareness.

We encourage you to pause, reflect, get clear on and write down the following things that:

  • you care about, that are important to you
  • you love about yourself
  • represent a good life
  • make you stand out from others
  • bring you joy
  • you stand for.

A quick side-note

If you’re really struggling to answer the questions above because actually you have put your life on hold, while you find the love of your life, then it’s time to rewind. When you’re seriously looking for a life partner, it’s best to do this from a place where you’re already satisfied with your life to some extent. Obviously not everything is in place, no one’s life is like that, but there are definitely aspects to it that you’re very happy with. Dating is best pursued from a place of happiness. 

Be honest and be as open as possible. The more you share, the easier it’ll be to build a connection with someone who resonates with your vibe. We’re not asking you to share everything, good and bad. Be selective in that respect. But do try and be willing to share more than just the superficial content that you see make up the usual Tinder profiles.

We all have this human need to fit in. To be part of a tribe. To belong. But dating apps really are a place to push yourself forward ahead of others. To have your moment away from and ahead of the crowd.

 ✏️  Quick Exercise

Check out the video below, which talks you through creating a quick Wordmap of the things you care about. You can go as deep or as surface level as you want (although the deeper, the more powerful). The process of doing this will hopefully spark some ideas of visual depictions that might work. Talk to your photographer, it’ll help them unlock some portrait ideas that resonate. The more into the process you are, the more you’ll get back from it.

Express Yourself

Things are probably starting to feel a bit uncomfortable now. But that’s OK. That just means you’re getting close to the edge of your comfort zone. Keep going. Being willing to show up on a photoshoot ready to share elements of who you are is pretty scary. The most essential part of authenticity is being bold enough to keep going when things get challenging and express yourself.  When we have the courage to be bold, we’re both liberated and inspired by the power of authenticity. Showing up for your photoshoot authentically means going for it, not holding back and giving yourselves as fully as you can.

If you want to express yourself deeply, you need to find your passion

Try asking yourself,

‘How do I want people to feel when they check out my profile?’

‘If I knew these photos were going to be seen by my ideal soulmate, how would I want to show up for my photoshoot?’.

Challenges are almost always easier when viewed through the lens of big life shit.

Celebrate Yourself

The best advice I’ve been given, is to aim to let go of what other people think of you. At the end of that, you’ll find authenticity. Dang! I love that. Very powerful and so worth working towards. When you’re prepping for your shoot and then showing up, reject the ‘shoulds’. Whenever we think ‘I should…’, it usually means we’re veering off course from authenticity and heading towards something that doesn’t align with our unique perspective and vibe.

We want to help our clients deliver a visually compelling and authentic ‘brand’ story, which will massively optimise their online dating experience. But remember it’s an art not a science. There is no right or wrong way to do this. As long as you show willing to share something meaningful about you, however small, it counts and we’re proud of you.

Visually Compelling

This is when things get a whole lot more fun. Let’s look at what kinds of elements make up the visually compelling side of your photos?

We’re looking at the outfits you want to wear and the accessories and props you decide to bring. The backdrops and context that you think will work well. Your body language. How you come across as confident.  As you’re deciding all these elements for your photoshoot, don’t forget to refer back to your storytelling notes. What narrative are you sharing about yourself. That you’re fun, playful, confident, sporty, sociable etc.

Emotionally Compelling

Interweaved with the visually compelling elements of your photos are the emotionally compelling ones. You want them to feel something when they look at your photos. You want them to feel your energy, your vibe, your mood, your confidence. The story you’re telling.

Check out the video below where I chat to matchmaker and dating professional Sukh Kaur and share some tips on how to bring these elements together on your photoshoot.

Let the storytelling fun begin.


Words by Saskia. Photo by Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester. 

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dating app profile

Great online dating photographers are focused on human experience, rather than the size of our lenses.

Yeah… I’d go as far to say, we view our photoshoots as an emotional journey with a physical output more than anything else.

We want to help you let people in and get a better sense of who you are… the real you, of course, (in reply to a comment I got yesterday), if your photos are going to be meaningful, in any way.

When you can bring your whole self to the shoot, it’s kind of magic, really. When you can craft images that tell stories about who you are, it’s powerful and empowering, because when stories are told, meaning is made.

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How you show up for your profile pictures matters. The energy you show up with for your photoshoot, is the same energy that online daters can see and feel when they look at your profile pictures.

And yes, you can absolutely see and feel energy in pictures. You can see if someone is happy, dejected or confident, for example.

Confidence is energy. It’s not a ‘trait’ that you either are or aren’t, it’s a state. Like happiness, sadness & joy, it’s an energy you can tap into.

To create the most attractive and magnetic profile pictures, tap into the energy you want to see in your photos.

But how?

Get excited about how these profile pictures are going to open up doors, connect you to all kinds of interesting people, potentially lead to something so good, it’s life-changing.

Harness these positive kind of thoughts and embody them through your breathing, through smiling and laughing, through your body language. You know how smiling makes you feel happy and standing in a power pose makes you feel more confident? Yes 🙌🏽 that.

Your body language in your pictures communicates a lot about your energy and vibe.

Include things you really love in your photoshoot. You might wear something you love, go somewhere you love, hold something you love or, even better, get in flow and do something you love.

Including things that spark joy will impact your body language and your whole vibe.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Hey go-getters, thrill-seekers, online daters... have you checked out the podcast Dates & Mates yet? If you’re single and craving connection in a digitally-driven world, then head to Apple podcasts and hit subscribe.

This show is seriously guaranteed to give you more fun than your ex. And boy, what a show. The host Damona Hoffman, already one of the coolest humans on the planet, is now also the Official Love Expert of the Drew Barrymore Show ✨ as well an advice columnist for The Washington Post & much more.

I’ll admit I was a bit of a hot mess as a guest on her show but it was ace to be included on her latest episode. I share how to do online dating photos right and magnetise the best matches to you.

And don’t forget to hit subscribe, there are soooo many good episodes you’re going to wanna work your way through.

#podcast #datesandmates
#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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You are as hot as you think you are.

I love this.

When I was told this, back when I was online dating, I have to say it was a bit of a game changer. Your first instinct is to think, ‘Wait, what?’.

But then I thought back to people I’d met in my (very) long and varied dating life... and how my first impressions of their attractiveness could wildly change as soon as I started engaging with them.

That’s because I was seeing them as they see themselves.

Self-love levels the playing field. You don’t have to be the hottest person in the room to be the hottest person in the room... you just have to THINK you are.

Wow, I love that. It means being attractive, magnetic, desired is within all of us. We just gotta dig deep and love ourselves. No way round it.

Your vibe reflects the way you see yourself and cues others to respond accordingly.

I’m just getting into the Law of Attraction and figuring out how to raise my vibrations, which builds on this. And it’s so relevant to dating, I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna be sharing my learnings on here soon.

Anyone got any recommendations of people I can follow who are talking about vibrating higher? Please share 🙏🏽

I’m ready to vibe higher. Are you?

#selflove #onlinedating #datingapps #datenight #datingphotos #loveyourself #foreverguy #relationshipgoals #datingphotographer #portraits #goodtimes #tbt #lawofattraction #wellbeing #purpose #entrepreneur #startup #personalbrand #womeninbusiness #boss #selflovefightclub #creative #creativepreneur #mindset #attractive #gorgeous #vibratehigher #authenticdating #experimentaldating

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Your dating app profile ain’t the place to blend in. I know we all want to belong and fit in. But... this isn’t the time.

So many profiles are literally copy cats of each other. It’s sooo boring. Especially given the fact we’re all so different & amazing once you get to know us.

Take a risk. Reveal something meaningful about yourself in your profile. Write down all the things that make you stand out from others and then choose a couple of those to reveal in your profile photos.

People are gonna stare.
Make it worth their while.


#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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This message makes my heart do little backflips. I love that this client felt seen by Nicole and was able to express her best self.

And I love that she took the time to share her gratitude with me and Nicole.

I have a strong feeling that when this client finds love, it’s going to be pretty special.

💛 Very exciting 💛

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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I’m sharing my face because we have a bunch of new followers, yay hi there, and also because my jumper is very on brand and that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about today.

In your profile pics, your clothes are saying a lot more about you than you might think.

Our clothes are telling people a lot about our lifestyle, our social status, our personality and our vibe ... oh yeah and in my case, my job!

So what do you want your clothes to say about you? That you’re cool, confident, nerdish, feminine, comfortable, stylish, independent, fashionable, glam, extrovert, etc?

By choosing your clothes with intention, you can reveal elements of your personality that might otherwise not come across easily in your pictures.

And our clothes choices actually have more power than we think.

The psychologist, Dr Jennifer Baumgartner (a total expert on this stuff), says,

‘You can use your wardrobe to change how other people perceive you, and even more importantly - how you see yourself’.

I’ve shared that before but I love it so much. This is that moment when the outfit you put on makes you feel invincible & unstoppable. Perfect for a photoshoot or some first date action.

Lots of photoshoots coming up this bank holiday weekend, so this is your reminder to prep your outfits with intention.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #single and searching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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This is big-ass Hey Saturday energy right here...

‘Shoot your shot’ is:

🎯 to let go of your pride & pursue someone you’re into;

🎯 to be brave & have the audacity to do something that might be embarrassing;

🎯 to do, say or claim a thing that is potentially outside of your range of abilities.

This is the kinda energy that works so well on dating photoshoots & online dating.

People out there, living their best lives, willing to shoot their shot.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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Nah, I don’t mean that kind of suck😆

I mean dare to be real. Dare to be vulnerable. Dare to try something different. Dare to date someone different. Dare to put yourself out there. Dare to dance on your dating photoshoot. Dare to mess up. Dare to stand out on your dating profile. Dare to be disliked by some.

I think it was Kurt Vonnegut who said, ‘How embarrassing to be human’.

Well quite!

But go suck, I dare you!

At the end of that lies adventure, mayhem, great profile pics and, with a little bit of luck, authentic love.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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One of the best gifts you can give yourself? Letting go of what other people think about you.

Most of us worry too much about what others think to the point that we are far too inhibited and far less spontaneous and joyful than we could be.

Truth is (studies show), we consistently overestimate just how much - and how badly - others think about our failings.

Problem is, giving fewer fucks is super hard, we are such a social species.

We care so much about others because our happiness depends on the quality of our relationships. We need people and we want to be in their good books so that we can belong, fit in & nurture good relationships with them.

While a certain amount of it is healthy, too much is not. But what can you do to put the breaks on?

Let’s imagine you’re on a dating photoshoot but you can’t stop worrying about what random people in the street are thinking.

In reality, you know it really doesn’t matter what those people think. You don’t know them from Adam. And your photos... well they might just help you transform your love life, right, so they’re kind of important.

But knowing that doesn’t stop you feeling embarrassed.

Here’s one thing you could try. A moment of mindfulness.

Try six deep breaths in and out, with your photographer, feeling how the air enters and leaves your body and how your feet are connected to the ground.

At the end of this lies potential for even greater profile pics.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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You know when you connect online with someone new, but you just know straightaway that you’re going to get on really well? Yeah that.

This is Dillion. He invited me on his dating podcast, @truthaboutdating, the other day and the episode has just dropped (link in his bio).

We chatted about the importance of vibe, colour, confidence, being authentic, body language & much more.

Give it a listen 🎧 and check out his other episodes. Thanks for having me, Dillion, I really enjoyed chatting & sharing dating photo tips.

#onlinedatingphotographer #podcastepisode #singlewomen #singlemen #datingpodcast #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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If you’re thinking about creating some new dating profile pics, here’s some homework to help you prepare. Take a moment to ask yourself how you’d want to show up if you knew the love of your life was going to see these photos.

Photos, when created intentionally, are such a powerful tool for communicating who you are.

Plan to create photos that take people on a whistle stop tour of your vibe, your passions, your personality and your strengths.

You’ll find that you’re more easily able to connect with all and any ideal soulmates who come across your profile.

Don’t forget to keep it real. As real as you feel able.

Great photos attract attention. Authentic ones keep it.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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On dating apps, success is often determined by a split-second decision made after glimpsing, sometimes, just one photo. You gotta make sure every photo is an amazing one.

Here’s a secret hack, not many people know. Open, expansive body language in photos is crazy attractive, drawing the right kind of attention online.

This is backed by science actually - not just your friendly dating photo expert 😉

For those of you who love the science bit, academic researchers found that outstretched limbs increase attractiveness for all genders - but guys in particular. It suggests dominance for guys and confidence for guys and women.

With this in mind, make sure you take up space in your photos! Own it! Do some power poses to get in the mood. Throw your shoulders back. Fling your arms out. Have your hands spread out. Have fun experimenting.

No crossed arms or hunching over on our watch!

Be the star of every single shot. You only get 5 to 6 shots, you need to make sure all of them are doing the heavy lifting for you.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #bodylanguage #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #confidence

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What really matters to you in life? What’s important to you?

Showing up authentically on your dating photoshoot and in your dating life is the biggest gift you can give yourself.

It enables you to meet and connect with people on a deeper level. Imagine - no pretence and no games 🙌🏽

And it all starts with knowing yourself better.

I reckon a good starting place is writing out a list of all the things in life that are important to you.

We encourage our clients to do this ahead of their dating photoshoots.

It helps you get to the heart of what you want out of life, what you want out of your love life.

Knowing ourselves is a life-long process but it’s so good to check in on ourselves often, especially when we’re starting big things like online dating.

And by taking the time to think about it and let us, your photographers know, it helps us more easily create dating profile pictures that represent what you stand for. What you’re about. What makes you unique and special.

On my List of Stuff I Care About, I have:
- being creative
- keep on learning & growing
- love & connection
- being physically active
- helping people
- finding peace in nature

My dating profile pictures might then include me taking photos or painting, reading a self-help book or studying, walking or meditating in nature. I might wear my jumper with the word ‘love’ on it. I might be drinking tea in front of a cafe with friends (who aren’t actually in the pic). When planning your shoot, your list acts as a guide to make sure you’re telling people something meaningful about you.

✨What’s on your list?

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling

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