How to protect your self esteem when online dating 

How to protect your self esteem when online dating 

Urgh – that feeling when you’ve just been ghosted by someone you really fancied. It sucks, knocks your self esteem and can even make you want to throw the towel in with online dating. But fear not, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. We’re all only human and our self esteem is fragile – use our top tips to make sure you’re doing all you can to protect yours.

Be picky 

Have you come back from a date feeling low because the conversation didn’t flow and there was no spark? Chances are it had nothing to do with you, it’s because you weren’t choosy enough about your date. Make it a priority to date only people who tick the right boxes for you based on their dating profile. Take a close look at their dating profile photos and see what clues you can find about your compatibility. What stuff are they into, what clothes do they wear and what does their body language tell you about the sort of person they are? You don’t want to waste time on people you won’t have a fun date with, as bad dates will knock your self esteem. From now on you’re only interested in fun, positive dates with like minded people. 

online dating profile photos

Feel great about your dating profile 

It’s super important to feel happy with your dating profile photos, and that the whole package of words and images on your dating profile is a true and honest reflection of you. If you feel good about your personal brand, it makes the knocks easier to stomach. Next time you get rejected, you’ll know it’s genuinely because the two of you aren’t compatible. Your dating profile is authentic, and so if people don’t connect with you, that’s their loss. Putting together a really great dating profile will also lift your self esteem in itself. Going on a dating photo shoot might seem daunting but it’ll actually pay huge dividends in terms of your confidence (and you’ll feel great about showing off your super hot dating photos). 

Los Angeles online dating profile photos

Prioritise self care 

You’re seeing your friends much less often, you’ve neglected your hobbies and your neighbours think you’ve moved out of your flat because you’re never there. Ringing any bells? If so, it could be time to take a step back and make some time for yourself. Self care is an important part of protecting your self esteem. After all, there’s nothing like a great laugh with friends who know you really well to make you feel good about yourself again. Try having a couple of date free nights every week, where you can focus on having some ‘me time’ – whether it’s a nice soak in the bath with a good book, hitting the gym for a really great workout, or some drinks at the local boozer with your pals. 

Dating Profile Photos Everything You Need to Know

Have a little respect  

You rightly expect to be treated well when online dating and for people to respect your feelings, so it’s only fair that you should have good dating etiquette yourself. Think of the things that knock your own self esteem – things like ghosting, not replying to messages for days, or sending mixed signals – and make sure you’re not doing them to others. When you are seeing multiple people at once, it’s all too easy to be less responsive with the people you’re less interested in, but just be considerate and call yourself out if your behaviour is falling short. The energy you put out into the world is what you’ll get back. 

Trust your instincts 

Sometimes you meet someone who’s really hot but the chemistry is just all wrong – their messages leave you feeling low, or you always come back from dates feeling down on yourself. These are warning signs that your self esteem is at risk. Similarly, if you’re out on a date and your gut instincts are telling you that something is off, it’s totally fine to end the date early and politely but assertively walk away. So if you feel the need to end a conversation online, call off a date, leave during a date or break if off with someone you’ve been seeing, trust your instincts and go right ahead. As long as you’re polite, there’s no need to feel bad. You’ll thank yourself later on when you’re dating someone who makes you feel really good about yourself. 

Choose the right dating app 

If your dating is getting you down, ask yourself whether you’re using the right app for you. It’s fine to accept that Tinder is not for everyone. With Bumble, for example, only female users can make the first move with a match. If you want something a bit more traditional, you might prefer Eharmony, where you have to complete a compatibility questionnaire before getting matched. Clikd is all about personality, where you set other users a ‘test’ using three questions of your choice to determine your compatibility. Do your research, shop around and you might find that your online dating experience becomes a lot more pleasurable when you’re on the best app for you. 

Boost your self esteem with a dating photo shoot from the experts and feel good about your online dating – book with Hey Saturday now.

 

Cool words by Lauren, fun dating profile photos by Saskia and Anna for Hey Saturday, London and Los Angeles.

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dating app profile

Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world.

Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥

And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance.

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+ Sound on for dating photo tips & good times +

Huge shout out to the legend that is James Preece, the UK dating coach king. Thank you for having me on your show, @jamespreececoach. I had a great time sharing my top dating photo tips with you, which I’m pretty sure you can tell when you listen in.

Have you subscribed to the Love Machine Podcast yet?

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You know what I love doing when I have a few moments to myself? … I love navigating to our Story highlights & scrolling through ‘Our Pics’. It gives me a legal, natural high every time.

The colour, the personalities, the vibes, the diverse life styles, the passions, the people… so much dating photoshoot awesomeness in one hit 🙌🏽✨🤩

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We need to talk about ‘talking point’ pics. Talking point pics are the ones that make people stop and do a double take, go back for another look and, yeah, slide into your messages because they need to know more.

Maybe you’re practicing tai chi, playing a ukulele, creating a stunning art piece on your iPad, doing a headstand yoga pose in the street or wrapping your hands ready for boxing (all shots we’ve taken, that have made me go back for another look 👀 check our Stories today!). Shots like these are so compelling.

Look, 5-6 photos at any one time on your dating app profile is optimum. Too few, people think you’re hiding something, too many & it’s game over as you give them too much to find fault with.

So you’ve got just 5-6 opportunities to
+ make an emotional impact
+ visually tell your story
+ and… also, importantly, intrigue people enough to reach out and ask you something or connect with you about something they see 👀

// Each one of your dating profile photos needs to bring something to the party //

So take a moment to check out your profile pics now. Which one is your ‘talking point’ pic? Answers on a postcard or in the comments, I really want to know…

And a big shout out goes out to the client I’ve been chatting with this week who’s booked Dumbo. You know who you are. You have so many exciting ideas for your shoot, I think you’re going to have a few ‘talking point’ pics to choose from 🙌🏽 And I’m so glad our Insta feed has helped you prep for your shoot. That makes me very happy.

*Tai chi photo: Kate for Hey Saturday, London

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New here? Come in, look around, stay awhile. We're creating our own brand of dating photo magic, right here. J'adoring these shots taken in Shoreditch by our London photographer, Nicole.

Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London

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The only mantra you’ll ever need before your dating photoshoot
+ Be bold, kill boring, do ‘you’, stand out +

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The more self-work you do now, the more amazing your next relationship will be.

It’ll be so worth it 🔥

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Do your dating profile pics look the same as everyone else’s? You’re pretty sure you’ve read the right blog posts and followed all the steps but actually your photos still aren’t making people walk straight into lamp posts or miss their stop on the last bus home.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes at the end of a long day, I just crave seeing something that makes me smile, makes me feel good, you know… that ‘happy to be alive’ kind of good.

Picture it… you’ve just been on a rubbish date and are feeling disillusioned on the bus home so you decide to jump back on the app to line up another one before you lose the will.

Now imagine, at this point, you spot a profile pic that fills you with joy. There’s just something about it that makes you smile or makes you feel excited or just glad to be alive again.

Now that… that’s the exact profile, you’re immediately going to swipe right on… damn!

Nothing else matters in that moment. You want more of whoever can make you feel that good in that moment.

But how can you create dating pictures like this? The best way to create photos like that is to actually ‘feel this way’ when you’re making the picture. Bring this energy and vibe to the photoshoot. Bring props that will make you feel happy or relive happy moments during the shoot. Do things, hold things, wear things, go places that make you feel that kind of happy… and it will translate into your profile pictures.

It’s so important to figure out what you’re into and what makes you feel good before your photoshoot and before dating so that you show up and attract more of this energy into your life.

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Great online dating photographers are focused on human experience, rather than the size of our lenses.

Yeah… I’d go as far to say, we view our photoshoots as an emotional journey with a physical output more than anything else.

We want to help you let people in and get a better sense of who you are… the real you, of course, (in reply to a comment I got yesterday), if your photos are going to be meaningful, in any way.

When you can bring your whole self to the shoot, it’s kind of magic, really. When you can craft images that tell stories about who you are, it’s powerful and empowering, because when stories are told, meaning is made.

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How you show up for your profile pictures matters. The energy you show up with for your photoshoot, is the same energy that online daters can see and feel when they look at your profile pictures.

And yes, you can absolutely see and feel energy in pictures. You can see if someone is happy, dejected or confident, for example.

Confidence is energy. It’s not a ‘trait’ that you either are or aren’t, it’s a state. Like happiness, sadness & joy, it’s an energy you can tap into.

To create the most attractive and magnetic profile pictures, tap into the energy you want to see in your photos.

But how?

Get excited about how these profile pictures are going to open up doors, connect you to all kinds of interesting people, potentially lead to something so good, it’s life-changing.

Harness these positive kind of thoughts and embody them through your breathing, through smiling and laughing, through your body language. You know how smiling makes you feel happy and standing in a power pose makes you feel more confident? Yes 🙌🏽 that.

Your body language in your pictures communicates a lot about your energy and vibe.

Include things you really love in your photoshoot. You might wear something you love, go somewhere you love, hold something you love or, even better, get in flow and do something you love.

Including things that spark joy will impact your body language and your whole vibe.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Hey go-getters, thrill-seekers, online daters... have you checked out the podcast Dates & Mates yet? If you’re single and craving connection in a digitally-driven world, then head to Apple podcasts and hit subscribe.

This show is seriously guaranteed to give you more fun than your ex. And boy, what a show. The host Damona Hoffman, already one of the coolest humans on the planet, is now also the Official Love Expert of the Drew Barrymore Show ✨ as well an advice columnist for The Washington Post & much more.

I’ll admit I was a bit of a hot mess as a guest on her show but it was ace to be included on her latest episode. I share how to do online dating photos right and magnetise the best matches to you.

And don’t forget to hit subscribe, there are soooo many good episodes you’re going to wanna work your way through.

#podcast #datesandmates
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You are as hot as you think you are.

I love this.

When I was told this, back when I was online dating, I have to say it was a bit of a game changer. Your first instinct is to think, ‘Wait, what?’.

But then I thought back to people I’d met in my (very) long and varied dating life... and how my first impressions of their attractiveness could wildly change as soon as I started engaging with them.

That’s because I was seeing them as they see themselves.

Self-love levels the playing field. You don’t have to be the hottest person in the room to be the hottest person in the room... you just have to THINK you are.

Wow, I love that. It means being attractive, magnetic, desired is within all of us. We just gotta dig deep and love ourselves. No way round it.

Your vibe reflects the way you see yourself and cues others to respond accordingly.

I’m just getting into the Law of Attraction and figuring out how to raise my vibrations, which builds on this. And it’s so relevant to dating, I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna be sharing my learnings on here soon.

Anyone got any recommendations of people I can follow who are talking about vibrating higher? Please share 🙏🏽

I’m ready to vibe higher. Are you?

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Your dating app profile ain’t the place to blend in. I know we all want to belong and fit in. But... this isn’t the time.

So many profiles are literally copy cats of each other. It’s sooo boring. Especially given the fact we’re all so different & amazing once you get to know us.

Take a risk. Reveal something meaningful about yourself in your profile. Write down all the things that make you stand out from others and then choose a couple of those to reveal in your profile photos.

People are gonna stare.
Make it worth their while.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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This message makes my heart do little backflips. I love that this client felt seen by Nicole and was able to express her best self.

And I love that she took the time to share her gratitude with me and Nicole.

I have a strong feeling that when this client finds love, it’s going to be pretty special.

💛 Very exciting 💛

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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I’m sharing my face because we have a bunch of new followers, yay hi there, and also because my jumper is very on brand and that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about today.

In your profile pics, your clothes are saying a lot more about you than you might think.

Our clothes are telling people a lot about our lifestyle, our social status, our personality and our vibe ... oh yeah and in my case, my job!

So what do you want your clothes to say about you? That you’re cool, confident, nerdish, feminine, comfortable, stylish, independent, fashionable, glam, extrovert, etc?

By choosing your clothes with intention, you can reveal elements of your personality that might otherwise not come across easily in your pictures.

And our clothes choices actually have more power than we think.

The psychologist, Dr Jennifer Baumgartner (a total expert on this stuff), says,

‘You can use your wardrobe to change how other people perceive you, and even more importantly - how you see yourself’.

I’ve shared that before but I love it so much. This is that moment when the outfit you put on makes you feel invincible & unstoppable. Perfect for a photoshoot or some first date action.

Lots of photoshoots coming up this bank holiday weekend, so this is your reminder to prep your outfits with intention.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #single and searching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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This is big-ass Hey Saturday energy right here...

‘Shoot your shot’ is:

🎯 to let go of your pride & pursue someone you’re into;

🎯 to be brave & have the audacity to do something that might be embarrassing;

🎯 to do, say or claim a thing that is potentially outside of your range of abilities.

This is the kinda energy that works so well on dating photoshoots & online dating.

People out there, living their best lives, willing to shoot their shot.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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