Online dating pitfalls and how to give them a swerve

Online dating pitfalls and how to give them a swerve

Yeah we know – you’re cool, hot to trot, sassy, and LOVE online dating. But even the coolest online dater has an off month, gets into a rut or sometimes struggles to find their dating mojo. So if online dating just isn’t lighting your fire this Spring, here are our top tips to avoid the most common dating pitfalls…

Dating Pitfalls #1 – All your dates are only after one thing 

Ahhh one of the most common dating pitfalls we reckon…. It’s true – people are after different things from online dating. Some people want hookups and a bit of fun – and if that’s you we reckon you’re probably not having much difficulty finding what you want. Fill your boots! But if you’re out there trying to find love, how do you weed out the people who are only after casual sex and aren’t looking for commitment? Do you often think you’ve met someone online who ticks all your boxes, only to discover they’re not planning on being exclusive with you, let alone anything more committed than that? You’ll be lucky if you see them every other Friday after midnight when the hotline bling. If this is the problem you’re facing, our tip would be to be as upfront as possible in your dating profile. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, it’s OK to say you’re looking for a relationship. Hopefully this will put off any time wasters. There’s also a lot you can do with the style of your photos. If your photos are selfies, you’re sending the wrong message. It looks like you haven’t invested time and therefore it’s not a serious thing for you. You need interesting, well lit, natural headshots that show a much more honest picture of what you’re looking for.  

Dating Pitfalls #2 – Your dates are boring

You’ve fallen into a rut where your online dating is starting to feel like Groundhog Day – where you struggle to tell this week’s date from last week’s. Maybe you’re starting to mix up the names of the people you’ve met, or you need to check your apps to remember which one is which or to remind yourself what they actually looked like. This is a sure sign your dating needs an overhaul. You want to be coming away from dates with a spring in your step and butterflies in your tummy, totally unable to wait until you see them again! Our tip for shaking up your dating is to shop around and try different apps. They all cater for slightly different audiences and you need to find the one where your tribe hangs out. Some of the newer ones on the block include Bumble, CLiKD and Badoo.

dating pitfalls

Dating Pitfalls #3 – Your dates don’t look like their dating photos

Who in online dating has never experienced this one? The person in the profile photos looks like George Clooney and the one that turns up to the date looks like Columbo. As well as the obvious disappointment, there’s also the sense that this person has deceived you from the off. And if they’ve conned you about their appearance, what else are they being dishonest about? That’s why a date in this scenario is never going to get off the ground. But how do you spot these fakers? Isn’t it going to be impossible to know how they really look until you turn up to the date and actually meet them? Well we’d say: not entirely. There are massive clues in dating photos about how honest the person is. For a start, are their photos mostly taken outdoors in natural light? If so it’s harder for them to hide how they really look. If they look the same in all their pics (you can easily tell it’s the same person), that’s another positive clue. Do they look happy, relaxed and natural? Do their photos tell you something about their personality? These are all signs that the person is an honest dater who isn’t trying to hide anything but is happy in their own skin and wants to meet someone who loves them for it. Warning signs to be aware of include: having only one or two photos, photos that look like they’re taken in a studio setting and poorly lit photos taken indoors where there’s not much light.

Dating Pitfalls #4 – Your dates have all lied about themselves in their profile

Another common online dating problem that drives people mad is people who lie about important details. Age, height, weight, job and even marriage status are all things people regularly tell porkies about when putting together their dating profile. Perhaps they think that once you meet them and are charmed by their personality, you’ll be willing to overlook the fact that they deceived you. It rarely works like this and is just a big turn off. To avoid this scenario you can turn to a matchmaker service, like Mutual Attraction where all your matches will have been pre vetted to make sure they are who they say they are. As well as the honesty side of things, this also helps on the safety side, for people who may feel uncomfortable about meeting strangers online.

Dating Pitfalls #5 – You never seem to get past the first date

You’ve had lots of dates where they didn’t live up to their dating profile, you couldn’t stand them and couldn’t wait to get away. You’ve also had dates that were OK but just a bit ‘meh’. Then there are the ones where you really fancied them, you got on like a house on fire and everything seemed to go great but they ghosted you afterwards. Either way, things never seem to progress to a second date for you. So what’s our advice on this one? Well, it’s to go through everything in your dating profile in detail and check out whether it’s really sending all the right messages, doing the best it can to attract the right kind of dates, and whether your dating photos are as natural and authentic as they can be. You might have to ask yourself some tough questions and get some honest friends to check out your profile for you. Here are some of the questions we think you need to be asking yourself: does my true personality come across in my dating profile? Would my close friends recognise the person described and the one in the pics? Am I being upfront about what I’m looking for? Are my dating photos recent, do they show my personality and do they show me looking relaxed, natural and happy? Once you can tick all these boxes you stand a much better chance of getting that second date.

To get those natural, happy, relaxed dating photos that online daters love, book a shoot with us here and let us transform your dating profile.

 

Cool words by Lauren, sassy photos by Saskia for Hey Saturday, London

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dating app profile

So yeah, I did a thing… Hey Saturday now has a podcast mini series, ‘Shoot Your Shot - The Art of Dating Profile Pictures’, for all your dating profile photo needs in one place 🎧✨

Press play on this show for jam-packed mini episodes that will inspire you to experiment, have fun and aim higher when creating your profile pictures for online dating apps.

I share my top mindset shifts and practical steps you can take to create dating profile photos that are both visually and emotionally compelling, to help you attract more and better quality matches on dating apps.

This podcast is for people with a short attention-span but a big vision for their love lives 🙌🏽

Link in bio 👀
Hosted by me, Saskia
Podcast logo and art by the incredible @teadayblogs from Coppie and Paste
Produced by that cutie @northernmunki
Podcast music by me @saskia_nelson in conjunction with GrooveApp (who did most of the heavy lifting to be fair)

#datingpodcast #datingpodcasts #newpodcast #newpodcastalert
#singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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#onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
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I was invited on @unhingedandbumbledup podcast the other day & it was probably the most fun I’ve had recording a podcast.

Ahead of the show, I had to give them both a dating photo challenge and they presented the photos they created to me during the show.

Tune into to see who does it better, Phil or Jane. It was a super close competition to be honest… but there was a clear winner 👏🏽👏🏽

I also shared

• What makes an awesome dating profile pic
• Why good photos are so important
• My 4 top favourite date spots around the globe (I just couldn’t choose one) and much more…

Have you subscribed to this chatty, fun show that shares experiences and opinions on how to navigate the tricky world of dating to come out on top?

Thanks for having me Phil & Jane 🙏🏽

#singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #newpodcast
#datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #datingpodcast
#onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
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…how would you show up?

I get a lot of emails from clients asking how and where they can do their photoshoots without many people seeing them. Ummm ….

To be fair, it’d probably be my first question too, if I were in their shoes. I’m not exactly known for being a natural badass in front of the lens (there’s a reason I prefer being behind it!).

But, thing is, those people really don’t care about what’s happening in your photoshoot. And why would you concern yourself worrying about what people - you don’t even know - think about you for 30 seconds?

Fear makes no sense, even after you unpick it and challenge it. It’s still there. Being fearless is actually really hard… however you could try this… choose to ‘act as if’ you’re fearless! Yeah, how would that look? How would you show up then? Really think about how you would approach it. And then, just as an experiment, do that.

#singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
#onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
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+ The Ex-Philes Podcast +

I had the pleasure of being invited onto an episode of the dating podcast, ’The Ex-Philes: Break-ups, Broken Hearts and Moving On’ recently & was interviewed by the two awesome hosts, Clair Lofthouse & Janice Formichella.

Thank you so much to both of you, I really enjoyed connecting & sharing my top dating profile picture expertise with you.

If you are getting over a breakup? I would highly recommend tuning in & subscribing.

Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast all about healing a broken heart, building your confidence, and moving forward in an empowered way.

Their favorite topics include healing from heartbreak, dating, ghosting, no contact, toxic relationships, communication, self-help, attachment styles and more.

Thanks Janice & Clair 🙏🏽

#onlinedatingphotographer #datingpodcast #singlewomen #singlemen #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world.

Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥

And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlewomen #singlemen #onlinedatingapps #datingphotos #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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+ Sound on for dating photo tips & good times +

Huge shout out to the legend that is James Preece, the UK dating coach king. Thank you for having me on your show, @jamespreececoach. I had a great time sharing my top dating photo tips with you, which I’m pretty sure you can tell when you listen in.

Have you subscribed to the Love Machine Podcast yet?

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlemen #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #podcast #datingapps #podcastepisode #newpodcastepisode
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You know what I love doing when I have a few moments to myself? … I love navigating to our Story highlights & scrolling through ‘Our Pics’. It gives me a legal, natural high every time.

The colour, the personalities, the vibes, the diverse life styles, the passions, the people… so much dating photoshoot awesomeness in one hit 🙌🏽✨🤩

onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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We need to talk about ‘talking point’ pics. Talking point pics are the ones that make people stop and do a double take, go back for another look and, yeah, slide into your messages because they need to know more.

Maybe you’re practicing tai chi, playing a ukulele, creating a stunning art piece on your iPad, doing a headstand yoga pose in the street or wrapping your hands ready for boxing (all shots we’ve taken, that have made me go back for another look 👀 check our Stories today!). Shots like these are so compelling.

Look, 5-6 photos at any one time on your dating app profile is optimum. Too few, people think you’re hiding something, too many & it’s game over as you give them too much to find fault with.

So you’ve got just 5-6 opportunities to
+ make an emotional impact
+ visually tell your story
+ and… also, importantly, intrigue people enough to reach out and ask you something or connect with you about something they see 👀

// Each one of your dating profile photos needs to bring something to the party //

So take a moment to check out your profile pics now. Which one is your ‘talking point’ pic? Answers on a postcard or in the comments, I really want to know…

And a big shout out goes out to the client I’ve been chatting with this week who’s booked Dumbo. You know who you are. You have so many exciting ideas for your shoot, I think you’re going to have a few ‘talking point’ pics to choose from 🙌🏽 And I’m so glad our Insta feed has helped you prep for your shoot. That makes me very happy.

*Tai chi photo: Kate for Hey Saturday, London

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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New here? Come in, look around, stay awhile. We're creating our own brand of dating photo magic, right here. J'adoring these shots taken in Shoreditch by our London photographer, Nicole.

Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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The only mantra you’ll ever need before your dating photoshoot
+ Be bold, kill boring, do ‘you’, stand out +

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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