Online dating pitfalls and how to give them a swerve
Yeah we know – you’re cool, hot to trot, sassy, and LOVE online dating. But even the coolest online dater has an off month, gets into a rut or sometimes struggles to find their dating mojo. So if online dating just isn’t lighting your fire this Spring, here are our top tips to avoid the most common dating pitfalls…
Dating Pitfalls #1 – All your dates are only after one thing
Ahhh one of the most common dating pitfalls we reckon…. It’s true – people are after different things from online dating. Some people want hookups and a bit of fun – and if that’s you we reckon you’re probably not having much difficulty finding what you want. Fill your boots! But if you’re out there trying to find love, how do you weed out the people who are only after casual sex and aren’t looking for commitment? Do you often think you’ve met someone online who ticks all your boxes, only to discover they’re not planning on being exclusive with you, let alone anything more committed than that? You’ll be lucky if you see them every other Friday after midnight when the hotline bling. If this is the problem you’re facing, our tip would be to be as upfront as possible in your dating profile. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, it’s OK to say you’re looking for a relationship. Hopefully this will put off any time wasters. There’s also a lot you can do with the style of your photos. If your photos are selfies, you’re sending the wrong message. It looks like you haven’t invested time and therefore it’s not a serious thing for you. You need interesting, well lit, natural headshots that show a much more honest picture of what you’re looking for.
Dating Pitfalls #2 – Your dates are boring
You’ve fallen into a rut where your online dating is starting to feel like Groundhog Day – where you struggle to tell this week’s date from last week’s. Maybe you’re starting to mix up the names of the people you’ve met, or you need to check your apps to remember which one is which or to remind yourself what they actually looked like. This is a sure sign your dating needs an overhaul. You want to be coming away from dates with a spring in your step and butterflies in your tummy, totally unable to wait until you see them again! Our tip for shaking up your dating is to shop around and try different apps. They all cater for slightly different audiences and you need to find the one where your tribe hangs out. Some of the newer ones on the block include Bumble, CLiKD and Badoo.
Dating Pitfalls #3 – Your dates don’t look like their dating photos
Who in online dating has never experienced this one? The person in the profile photos looks like George Clooney and the one that turns up to the date looks like Columbo. As well as the obvious disappointment, there’s also the sense that this person has deceived you from the off. And if they’ve conned you about their appearance, what else are they being dishonest about? That’s why a date in this scenario is never going to get off the ground. But how do you spot these fakers? Isn’t it going to be impossible to know how they really look until you turn up to the date and actually meet them? Well we’d say: not entirely. There are massive clues in dating photos about how honest the person is. For a start, are their photos mostly taken outdoors in natural light? If so it’s harder for them to hide how they really look. If they look the same in all their pics (you can easily tell it’s the same person), that’s another positive clue. Do they look happy, relaxed and natural? Do their photos tell you something about their personality? These are all signs that the person is an honest dater who isn’t trying to hide anything but is happy in their own skin and wants to meet someone who loves them for it. Warning signs to be aware of include: having only one or two photos, photos that look like they’re taken in a studio setting and poorly lit photos taken indoors where there’s not much light.
Dating Pitfalls #4 – Your dates have all lied about themselves in their profile
Another common online dating problem that drives people mad is people who lie about important details. Age, height, weight, job and even marriage status are all things people regularly tell porkies about when putting together their dating profile. Perhaps they think that once you meet them and are charmed by their personality, you’ll be willing to overlook the fact that they deceived you. It rarely works like this and is just a big turn off. To avoid this scenario you can turn to a matchmaker service, like Mutual Attraction where all your matches will have been pre vetted to make sure they are who they say they are. As well as the honesty side of things, this also helps on the safety side, for people who may feel uncomfortable about meeting strangers online.
Dating Pitfalls #5 – You never seem to get past the first date
You’ve had lots of dates where they didn’t live up to their dating profile, you couldn’t stand them and couldn’t wait to get away. You’ve also had dates that were OK but just a bit ‘meh’. Then there are the ones where you really fancied them, you got on like a house on fire and everything seemed to go great but they ghosted you afterwards. Either way, things never seem to progress to a second date for you. So what’s our advice on this one? Well, it’s to go through everything in your dating profile in detail and check out whether it’s really sending all the right messages, doing the best it can to attract the right kind of dates, and whether your dating photos are as natural and authentic as they can be. You might have to ask yourself some tough questions and get some honest friends to check out your profile for you. Here are some of the questions we think you need to be asking yourself: does my true personality come across in my dating profile? Would my close friends recognise the person described and the one in the pics? Am I being upfront about what I’m looking for? Are my dating photos recent, do they show my personality and do they show me looking relaxed, natural and happy? Once you can tick all these boxes you stand a much better chance of getting that second date.
To get those natural, happy, relaxed dating photos that online daters love, book a shoot with us here and let us transform your dating profile.
Cool words by Lauren, sassy photos by Saskia for Hey Saturday, London