Top tips to stay badass while online dating

Top tips to stay badass while online dating

There’s been lots in the press lately about how excessive social media use is starting to take its toll on our mental health and general wellbeing. We’re spending an average of two hours every day* sharing, liking, tweeting and updating on our social media apps – arghhh that’s more than many people spend exercising, socialising or doing hobbies. As it’s such a big part of our lives, we need to take its potential impact on us seriously. And guess what? While not strictly ‘social media’, in many ways dating apps are the same thing – they require us to look at a screen, they are potentially addictive and they can lower our mood when things don’t work out. Lets face it, we don’t need another thing to bring us down when we’re online dating so here are our tops tips for taking charge of your wellbeing when dating.

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Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London

Don’t compare yourself to others

One of the most negative things about social media is the tendency to compare yourself to others. Everyone else appears to be having a great social life, going on great dates, or is happily coupled up with a perfect relationship. You need to remember that you are only seeing a snapshot of these people’s lives, and it’s only the good bits that they want you to see. For every selfie on Facebook you see of your friend out drinking cocktails with someone hot, remember that they haven’t told you about the 6 rubbish dates they had before that, or the recent Saturday night they spent at home on their own with a ready meal for one. Your dating journey is unique and the way you are doing it is just fine. Resist that temptation to compare!

Limit the time you spend on online dating apps

You need to treat your dating apps in the same way you treat your other social media apps and find a balance so that your dating doesn’t start to interfere with your life and your health. For example, looking at the bright screens on our phones before bed can prevent good sleep or cause insomnia. Plus if your mind is buzzing or racing because you’ve spent the whole evening messaging someone, you will not be able to wind down ready for the quality sleep we all need to maintain good mental and physical health. If you’re serious about looking after yourself, then limit your online dating to a certain time period in the day or evening when you will check your apps and respond to messages (and finish well before bedtime). Turn off your notifications so you don’t get tempted outside of these times. Be strict with yourself!

Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London

Practice mindfulness

There’s no getting away from the fact that online dating involves looking at a screen for extended periods. When you’re browsing through your apps and responding to messages what this means is that you are not living in the present moment. Think about it – when you’re really absorbed in messaging someone, are you aware of sights and sounds around you? Did you really notice the taste of that snack bar you just ate and could you remember the face of the person who just sat down opposite you on the train? Or were you so busy thinking of a cool reply to the hot guy online that you didn’t notice? Being mindful stops you from living constantly in your head and your thoughts. It brings you back into the present moment and it’s proven to reduce anxiety and improve mental health. Check out headspace if you want a simple way to try mindfulness in just a few minutes a day.

Don’t over analyse

 

When you’ve had a bad date or when you’ve been ghosted, it’s tempting to analyse the situation in great detail. Was it something about you that made this happen? Could you have done something differently? Have they gone back to their ex? What exactly did they mean by that last message they sent? Well, for the sake of your mental health, DO NOT do this. Just accept the situation and move on. OK – that’s easy for us to say but we all do it; it’s a human trait to ruminate on things. So how exactly can you avoid it? Well – mindfulness will be a big help. With practice, in time you will be able to notice when you are having negative thoughts or beating yourself up over something that was out of your control. Then you can focus on looking after yourself, doing things that make you happy and finding someone new (and better!).

Be selective

Simple fact – some people we come across in online dating are bad for our mental health. Remember that not everyone you chat to online will be as as kind, understanding and compassionate as you are; that’s just the world we live in. And remember that these are often total strangers we are chatting to after all; we can’t assume we can trust them to make us feel good right from the off. So if someone you’re chatting to or dating makes you feel any of the following, delete them and move on:

  • inadequate
  • silly or stupid
  • unattractive
  • sad.  

Perhaps you’ve feeling this way without even realising it. So check in and ask yourself “how does this person actually make me feel?” Your mental health is precious and you’re not about to let some random guy or girl play havoc with it just because they’ve got issues of their own.

Photo credit: Polly for Hey Saturday, London

Celebrate the good stuff

For anything that goes well in online dating, you need to give yourself a high five. So whether it’s a good date, good chat, good sex – whatever it might be, it deserves a mini celebration. A great idea of how to celebrate is to have a ‘good dating’ jar. Anytime something cool, funny, amazing or brilliant happens when dating, write it on a bit of paper and put it in the jar. Then whenever you’re feeling a bit down or the next time you get ghosted, empty your jar and read all your messages of celebration back to yourself. This is guaranteed to give you a lift and remind you that actually, you are pretty damn good at dating.

Rock that self love

When we boil it down, online dating is about asking people to like us. We’re putting ourselves out there in quite an emotionally vulnerable way – our dating photos, our profile and all the things that make us tick are documented online. We’re putting our heart on the line in order to try and find love. It’s no wonder this process can sometimes cause us anxiety and stress or that we feel upset when it doesn’t work out as we planned. If you have self love; if you really like yourself, it won’t matter as much to you if others don’t. If someone is not into you, that’s their loss. You’re completely whole as it is and are waiting for the right person! Some recent books that might help you boost your self love are Happy by Fearne Cotton, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and Help by Simon Amstell.

If online dating has really got you down and you need someone to talk to, you can call Samaritans on 116 123 at any time.

*Figure taken from this BBC article

Awesome words by Lauren, cool photos by Polly and Nicole.

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Online Dating Photographers
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✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
You get a couple of seconds to make an impression, so make those seconds count. Our fave dating photos are ones that are compelling, colourful, creative, story-telling, authentic, vibrant and, of course, ones that make you smile. Great set from Alison in downtown Manhattan, NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, NYC #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop! Reliving happy moments from last month when I was visiting LA and was hanging out in Abbot Kinney, the Arts District Downtown and Silver Lake, all fab Hey Saturday locations. These gorgeous shots, captured by Vanessa, were taken in the Arts District and I’m loving the energy, colour and good vibes. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
The Two Key Ingredients for a Great Dating Profile 📣 new blog post alert 📣 A new study has just dropped that encourages dating app users to embrace originality when creating their dating profile text. Just as I encourage our clients to visually show how they stand out from others in their profile pictures, this study has backed up what dating experts, like James Preece, have been saying all along too… Lose the generic, cliché-ridden text and share something meaningful instead - like what makes you special/different from everyone else. The researchers attempted to understand what precisely makes for compelling profile text. They found that highly original text tended to contain one or more of the following 5 elements: • Metaphorical expressions (e.g. “I’m a rock-star at cooking curries” vs “I’m a good cook”) • Vivid descriptions & imagery ….. .. Head to the blog to read more - link in bio. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
Love this tried and tested hack for our clients who aren’t feeling ‘enough’ the day of their dating photoshoot. The moment they take hold of something that brings them joy - their camera, their yoga mat, their boxing gloves, their paintbrush or whatever it may be - they immediately relax, smile and feel at ease with themselves. I love this moment so much and it creates such great profile pics ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
These dating photos are so my jam. I’m adoring the bold colour and variety of backgrounds. Shouts out to Suze, who shot these on the streets of Clifton Village in Bristol. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
If your dating app pics make people smile, they’re going to feel happy while looking at your profile. That means they are waaaaay more likely to want to reach out and connect with you. And that’s the kind of response we love ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
Our Magic 8 Ball says ‘Heck yes”. Loving this playful set from Alison shot on location on the streets of NYC. Such a fun set. Can you tell, we are the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet :) Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
How can I relax into my dating photoshoot? ✨ Do what you love ✨ When we are in flow, we don’t feel self-conscious. We feel free 🙌🏽 All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Full disclosure! Our dating profile pics are a gateway to a fun dating life, good times and sometimes an epic love story so strong, it’ll make Oscar Issac and Jessica Chastain’s red carpet moment look a bit meh. J’adoring this ace stand-out set from the talent that is Nicole, transforming the streets of Shoredtich into a gorgeous backdrop for a dating photoshoot. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
Let your dating profile pics show people how you move through the world ✨✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
Heck yes, this is why we call our photoshoots the happiest dating photoshoots. J’adoring these gorgeous shots created by Livia in the colourful Northern Quarter. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots ✨ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
The world is so ready for you to show up in a meaningful way on your dating profile 👏🏽👏🏽 All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers ✨✨ You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
Hey go-getters, thrill-seekers and online daters.... our dating photoshoots are a good time. Absolutely j’adoring these gorgeous shots created by Vanessa at Abbot Kinney & as I’m currently chilling in LA, I thought I just gotta share. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
+ Take up space in the frame + Taking up a lot of physical space in the frame instantly makes you more attractive to others…. …Researchers discovered that open body language or “expansive postures” conveys both confidence as well as a sense of openness. People are more likely to come across as warm, friendly, trustworthy as well as comfortable in their own skin - great for dating pics ✨ You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Well this dating photoshoot is just a whole vibe. Shouts out to Megan for creating this fab set and huge kudos to the client who brought his A-game, dang. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham You have been watching Hey Saturday 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
It’s soooo important to get your self-talk right on a dating photoshoot… I mean nobody’s perfect but dang do we all fall short so beautifully 🔥🔥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Brighton dating photoshoot 🔥🔥 I was lucky enough to head to Brighton this week and catch up with one of our Brighton photographers, Lauren … & I gotta tell you, it's a dang-good gorgeous place for a dating photoshoot. Check out these cool shots from Lauren, who transforms the streets into a Hey Saturday playground. Loving the colour, personality and vibrance. Photo credit: Lauren for Hey Saturday, Brighton You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Never underestimate the power & magic of goofing off during your dating photoshoot. It helps create the best profile pics & usually means you end up having a good time 😆 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest… & er goofiest dating photoshoots 🔥 *Filmed by @northernmunki #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #goofingoff #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages