The Power of Harnessing New Habits For Lasting Positive Change

The Power of Harnessing New Habits For Lasting Positive Change

When you think about the word ‘habits’, it seems like a fairly unassuming word. But, it’s not actually a word many of us think much about at all. Its very nature means taking action without giving it much, if any, thought.

Habits, however, are the essential foundation beneath any productivity practice.

The appearance of superhuman levels of self-discipline is simply a collection of strong habits, carefully cultivated over time.’  – Chris Sparkes

With this in mind, mediocrity is nothing but a collection of poor habits left unexamined and unchallenged to take over someone’s life and lifestyle.

What are habits?

Habits can be defined as an “automatic behaviour that is triggered by context from the situation.”

Humans are, by nature, creatures of habit. According to Chris Sparkes, 45% of our reported activities in a given day are habitual, performed automatically without much thought.

Wow, this actually opens up the possibility of taking back the control of over half of what we do with the rest of our life.

But right now, in the middle of lockdown during the worst pandemic the world has ever seen, this feels overwhelming at best.

habits

Starting small counts

A manageable place to start, during lockdown times, is by starting to think about some small habits you can start right now, that will make you feel better about yourself.

The other day, I invited Kate Oakley, a Personal Trainer @yourfuturefit, to join me on Hey Saturday’s IGTV to discuss the power of harnessing small habits to create big change. The video is below.

We cover:

  • why New Year resolutions tend to fail (especially during lockdown)
  • how to use small habits to become the person you aspire to be
  • how long it takes to form a new habit (it’s probably not the answer you’re expecting
  • why replacing a bad habit with a good one works
  • why starting with just 2 minutes here and there really works

Phew…Kate was amazing. I loved our chat so much, she was brilliant! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Thank you.

I have learned so much and am keen to start taking a look at all my habits, good and bad. I’m going to review what I need to lose, what I need to improve and which new ones I can start to create. It’s exciting knowing I can take back the control of the direction of my life in this way.

I don’t know about you but I’m feeling fired up and inspired.

In the interview, Kate mentions the book Atomic Habit by James Clear, which is now on my 2021 reading list.

If you’re struggling during this latest lockdown, you might like to read the article I wrote during the first one on 21 things that might make life a little less stressful during lockdown.

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dating app profile

Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world.

Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥

And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance.

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+ Sound on for dating photo tips & good times +

Huge shout out to the legend that is James Preece, the UK dating coach king. Thank you for having me on your show, @jamespreececoach. I had a great time sharing my top dating photo tips with you, which I’m pretty sure you can tell when you listen in.

Have you subscribed to the Love Machine Podcast yet?

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You know what I love doing when I have a few moments to myself? … I love navigating to our Story highlights & scrolling through ‘Our Pics’. It gives me a legal, natural high every time.

The colour, the personalities, the vibes, the diverse life styles, the passions, the people… so much dating photoshoot awesomeness in one hit 🙌🏽✨🤩

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We need to talk about ‘talking point’ pics. Talking point pics are the ones that make people stop and do a double take, go back for another look and, yeah, slide into your messages because they need to know more.

Maybe you’re practicing tai chi, playing a ukulele, creating a stunning art piece on your iPad, doing a headstand yoga pose in the street or wrapping your hands ready for boxing (all shots we’ve taken, that have made me go back for another look 👀 check our Stories today!). Shots like these are so compelling.

Look, 5-6 photos at any one time on your dating app profile is optimum. Too few, people think you’re hiding something, too many & it’s game over as you give them too much to find fault with.

So you’ve got just 5-6 opportunities to
+ make an emotional impact
+ visually tell your story
+ and… also, importantly, intrigue people enough to reach out and ask you something or connect with you about something they see 👀

// Each one of your dating profile photos needs to bring something to the party //

So take a moment to check out your profile pics now. Which one is your ‘talking point’ pic? Answers on a postcard or in the comments, I really want to know…

And a big shout out goes out to the client I’ve been chatting with this week who’s booked Dumbo. You know who you are. You have so many exciting ideas for your shoot, I think you’re going to have a few ‘talking point’ pics to choose from 🙌🏽 And I’m so glad our Insta feed has helped you prep for your shoot. That makes me very happy.

*Tai chi photo: Kate for Hey Saturday, London

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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New here? Come in, look around, stay awhile. We're creating our own brand of dating photo magic, right here. J'adoring these shots taken in Shoreditch by our London photographer, Nicole.

Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London

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The only mantra you’ll ever need before your dating photoshoot
+ Be bold, kill boring, do ‘you’, stand out +

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The more self-work you do now, the more amazing your next relationship will be.

It’ll be so worth it 🔥

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Do your dating profile pics look the same as everyone else’s? You’re pretty sure you’ve read the right blog posts and followed all the steps but actually your photos still aren’t making people walk straight into lamp posts or miss their stop on the last bus home.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes at the end of a long day, I just crave seeing something that makes me smile, makes me feel good, you know… that ‘happy to be alive’ kind of good.

Picture it… you’ve just been on a rubbish date and are feeling disillusioned on the bus home so you decide to jump back on the app to line up another one before you lose the will.

Now imagine, at this point, you spot a profile pic that fills you with joy. There’s just something about it that makes you smile or makes you feel excited or just glad to be alive again.

Now that… that’s the exact profile, you’re immediately going to swipe right on… damn!

Nothing else matters in that moment. You want more of whoever can make you feel that good in that moment.

But how can you create dating pictures like this? The best way to create photos like that is to actually ‘feel this way’ when you’re making the picture. Bring this energy and vibe to the photoshoot. Bring props that will make you feel happy or relive happy moments during the shoot. Do things, hold things, wear things, go places that make you feel that kind of happy… and it will translate into your profile pictures.

It’s so important to figure out what you’re into and what makes you feel good before your photoshoot and before dating so that you show up and attract more of this energy into your life.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Great online dating photographers are focused on human experience, rather than the size of our lenses.

Yeah… I’d go as far to say, we view our photoshoots as an emotional journey with a physical output more than anything else.

We want to help you let people in and get a better sense of who you are… the real you, of course, (in reply to a comment I got yesterday), if your photos are going to be meaningful, in any way.

When you can bring your whole self to the shoot, it’s kind of magic, really. When you can craft images that tell stories about who you are, it’s powerful and empowering, because when stories are told, meaning is made.

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How you show up for your profile pictures matters. The energy you show up with for your photoshoot, is the same energy that online daters can see and feel when they look at your profile pictures.

And yes, you can absolutely see and feel energy in pictures. You can see if someone is happy, dejected or confident, for example.

Confidence is energy. It’s not a ‘trait’ that you either are or aren’t, it’s a state. Like happiness, sadness & joy, it’s an energy you can tap into.

To create the most attractive and magnetic profile pictures, tap into the energy you want to see in your photos.

But how?

Get excited about how these profile pictures are going to open up doors, connect you to all kinds of interesting people, potentially lead to something so good, it’s life-changing.

Harness these positive kind of thoughts and embody them through your breathing, through smiling and laughing, through your body language. You know how smiling makes you feel happy and standing in a power pose makes you feel more confident? Yes 🙌🏽 that.

Your body language in your pictures communicates a lot about your energy and vibe.

Include things you really love in your photoshoot. You might wear something you love, go somewhere you love, hold something you love or, even better, get in flow and do something you love.

Including things that spark joy will impact your body language and your whole vibe.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Hey go-getters, thrill-seekers, online daters... have you checked out the podcast Dates & Mates yet? If you’re single and craving connection in a digitally-driven world, then head to Apple podcasts and hit subscribe.

This show is seriously guaranteed to give you more fun than your ex. And boy, what a show. The host Damona Hoffman, already one of the coolest humans on the planet, is now also the Official Love Expert of the Drew Barrymore Show ✨ as well an advice columnist for The Washington Post & much more.

I’ll admit I was a bit of a hot mess as a guest on her show but it was ace to be included on her latest episode. I share how to do online dating photos right and magnetise the best matches to you.

And don’t forget to hit subscribe, there are soooo many good episodes you’re going to wanna work your way through.

#podcast #datesandmates
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You are as hot as you think you are.

I love this.

When I was told this, back when I was online dating, I have to say it was a bit of a game changer. Your first instinct is to think, ‘Wait, what?’.

But then I thought back to people I’d met in my (very) long and varied dating life... and how my first impressions of their attractiveness could wildly change as soon as I started engaging with them.

That’s because I was seeing them as they see themselves.

Self-love levels the playing field. You don’t have to be the hottest person in the room to be the hottest person in the room... you just have to THINK you are.

Wow, I love that. It means being attractive, magnetic, desired is within all of us. We just gotta dig deep and love ourselves. No way round it.

Your vibe reflects the way you see yourself and cues others to respond accordingly.

I’m just getting into the Law of Attraction and figuring out how to raise my vibrations, which builds on this. And it’s so relevant to dating, I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna be sharing my learnings on here soon.

Anyone got any recommendations of people I can follow who are talking about vibrating higher? Please share 🙏🏽

I’m ready to vibe higher. Are you?

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Your dating app profile ain’t the place to blend in. I know we all want to belong and fit in. But... this isn’t the time.

So many profiles are literally copy cats of each other. It’s sooo boring. Especially given the fact we’re all so different & amazing once you get to know us.

Take a risk. Reveal something meaningful about yourself in your profile. Write down all the things that make you stand out from others and then choose a couple of those to reveal in your profile photos.

People are gonna stare.
Make it worth their while.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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This message makes my heart do little backflips. I love that this client felt seen by Nicole and was able to express her best self.

And I love that she took the time to share her gratitude with me and Nicole.

I have a strong feeling that when this client finds love, it’s going to be pretty special.

💛 Very exciting 💛

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I’m sharing my face because we have a bunch of new followers, yay hi there, and also because my jumper is very on brand and that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about today.

In your profile pics, your clothes are saying a lot more about you than you might think.

Our clothes are telling people a lot about our lifestyle, our social status, our personality and our vibe ... oh yeah and in my case, my job!

So what do you want your clothes to say about you? That you’re cool, confident, nerdish, feminine, comfortable, stylish, independent, fashionable, glam, extrovert, etc?

By choosing your clothes with intention, you can reveal elements of your personality that might otherwise not come across easily in your pictures.

And our clothes choices actually have more power than we think.

The psychologist, Dr Jennifer Baumgartner (a total expert on this stuff), says,

‘You can use your wardrobe to change how other people perceive you, and even more importantly - how you see yourself’.

I’ve shared that before but I love it so much. This is that moment when the outfit you put on makes you feel invincible & unstoppable. Perfect for a photoshoot or some first date action.

Lots of photoshoots coming up this bank holiday weekend, so this is your reminder to prep your outfits with intention.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #single and searching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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This is big-ass Hey Saturday energy right here...

‘Shoot your shot’ is:

🎯 to let go of your pride & pursue someone you’re into;

🎯 to be brave & have the audacity to do something that might be embarrassing;

🎯 to do, say or claim a thing that is potentially outside of your range of abilities.

This is the kinda energy that works so well on dating photoshoots & online dating.

People out there, living their best lives, willing to shoot their shot.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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