Online dating tips: it’s all about the mindset

Online dating tips: it’s all about the mindset

Are you using the apps to meet new people or in the hopes of finding a new relationship?When was the last time you took a good look at your attitude around using them? Online dating tips, as seen on social media sites or heard on podcasts, often focus on the profile setup, but we think that a person’s mindset is equally important. 

After all, so many of us are swiping, but yet how often do we dwell on thoughts like:

  • There are no good people on here
  • Dating apps suck
  • All the decent people are taken
  • This is too much work

As with anything important that we want to improve in life, it is important to examine our mindset around online dating. Dating is meant to be enjoyable and approaching dating with a positive attitude can only help. Before you swipe, explore our five top tips for developing a positive dating app mindset. 

Online dating tips

Five mindsets for online dating success

Willingness to embrace positivity

If you are dating because you would like to meet a long-term partner, it stands to reason that you believe there is someone compatible out there for you. But how deeply do you really believe that? If you were to listen to the way you talk to your friends about the dating apps, would your words show that you believe that your person is out there somewhere?

If you are dating again after a breakup, it is natural to be worried that there isn’t anyone out there who gets us or that dating is fruitless. Disappointment after a relationship didn’t work out can really impact how we think about love and romance… and this is okay! 

But if these thoughts are drowning out the belief that you can find a compatible partner on the apps as you explore dating again it will negatively impact your experience and chances of success. If this is you, it might be a better idea to hold off while you put more time and space between the breakup and dating again.

Put the time and work into feeling positive about the apps and your chances. Getting into a mindset of positivity around dating again will boost your resiliency to the inevitable less-than-awesome first date. When you feel positive that you will eventually find the right person for your future, the occasional speed bump won’t send you into a tailspin.

If it isn’t a breakup that is causing you to feel grumpy or doubtful about dating, it may be a good idea to do some work to reframe your thoughts. Remember, positivity attracts positivity! 

“Finding love on the apps is possible for me.”

 

Willingness to put in the time

The beauty of dating apps is that you will have the chance to go on multiple dates with multiple people and tweak things as you go along. The goal is to eventually really click with someone, but it rarely happens on the first try. It may happen quickly for some people, but typically it will take meeting a lot of people before making a quality connection with the potential for a long-term relationship. And aren’t the best things in life worth waiting for? 

But all too often, when things don’t happen right away, our mindset can shift to “online dating sucks” rather than “online dating is a journey.” 

There will be bumps and dead ends along the way. If you’re feeling discouraged  maybe a date you enjoyed didn’t lead to a second date or you didn’t enjoy yourself on a date, keep an eye on your perspective and attitude. 

Letting the frustration that things aren’t clicking fast enough will hold you back from finding a compatible partner because it takes time! Think about your group of school friends. You wouldn’t want to date every single person in that group, right? On the apps, you have an even bigger pool of people, with even less in common. The sheer numbers that are on the apps are both a gift and a curse. Assuming that it will take time to find a potential partner simply because you won’t click with everyone will help keep you from getting discouraged. 

A good way to look at it is to try NOT to click with people so that you will get closer to the people you will connect with! 

“I’m ready to put in however long it takes to find someone as special as me.”

 

Willingness to experiment

Using a dating app is about trial and error and seeing what works. There are filters to adjust, photos to try out, communication skills to use when chatting, a compelling bio to write, questions to answer, and more. It is important to remember that just like with many things in life and love, in order to have the best results, you may need to adjust how you do things. 

After all, Hey Saturday exists because of this need— your grainy selfies weren’t working so now you are intentionally trying something new that has a record of success and a strategy behind it. Your dating app photos are not the only area you may have to experiment with. 

Just like meeting people in real life, finding quality people online means putting your best foot forward and paying attention to the results. This may mean that you regularly make changes to your profile, ask for advice, have new photos taken, examine your texting skills, and more. Put on your scientist hat— make a hypothesis, test, adjust and repeat!

“I’ll get better at showing my authentic self online through trial and error.”

 

Willingness to set boundaries

When you are meeting new people all of the time, it’s even more  important than usual to have boundaries! Having an authentically enjoyable time while also getting closer to meeting someone you may have a relationship with means setting limits. It means knowing what you want and then being able to ask for it. And yes, it will mean saying ‘no’ and not pursuing things that you feel won’t lead to the joy you want and deserve. 

Online dating pro tip: each “no” that you use in dating is as important as each “yes.” 

Not only do you have to know what your boundaries are and communicate them, but it is essential that you be okay with enforcing them. You’re going to be on an emotional roller coaster if each time you meet someone that is a no for you, you start feeling really negative towards dating apps and the process . Remember that what is wrong for you can never be right for someone else. Know that any disappointment others may feel that you are uninterested is temporary and for the best. 

“When I say “no” to the wrong person, I am saying “yes” to the right person.”

 

Willingness to put yourself first 

How much do you put yourself as a priority? Are you a people pleaser? Are you in touch with your desires? 

There is little point to using a dating app to find a partner if you say yes to every request, swipe right on every photo, message back anyone who messages you and say yes to every date, especially if you say yes to dates you don’t want to go on.  If this is something you feel describes you, read up on scarcity mindset and how to rewrite that belief. 

Use dating apps with the goal of creating the experience that you will most enjoy. The reason we have apps is that they let us pick and choose the people and experiences that most light us up and that we resonate with. This is your chance to make the rules. And to do so you must be comfortable making them. 

“I can curate my own experience of dating apps.” 

 

Want more guidance on healing a broken heart, dating again, and building up the self-confidence to attract the best people into your life? Make sure to catch new episodes of the Ex-Philes podcast every Tuesday. 


Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast hosted by breakup coaches Clair Lofthouse and Janice Formichella. A podcast about breakups, broken hearts, and moving on, Ex-Philes is here to help anyone struggling to put a breakup behind them to turn a corner, or to support those who are ready for a positive future after a breakup. 

Head here to follow Clair on Instagram and here to follow Janice.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
dating app profile
👑Originality is King 👑 The more original your dating profile and pics, the more success you’ll have on the apps. Research backs this up. But how do you create dating photos that capture your unique, special voice and vibe? Start with this simple, but powerful, question: How do I stand out from other people? Write it all down - passions, interests, inspirations, values, vibe. All of it. And use that as your framework to create your profile pics. Think about how you can visually capture your story in your photos using props, clothes, body language, locations, vibe and attitude. It’s challenging to do this, but have fun with it. It’ll show in your pics. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Is it time for an originality check on your dating app profile? Recent research has backed up what dating experts having been saying for years, people respond particularly well to the use of originality in dating profiles. Higher originality in your dating profile is associated with the following: + increased belief in physical attraction + greater intelligence + higher romantic intention (ie how likely would you be to date this person?) + higher humour perception + lower perceptions of oddness/peculiarity Brilliant news then! They found nothing negative associated with adopting originality in your profile. Therefore we can all benefit from an originality check 🙌🏽 Check out my recent blog post with some ideas on how to review your own profile through the lens of originality. It’s kind of obvious when you think about it - that the more you reveal some real truths about yourself the easier it will be to connect with your kind of people - but it’s still something people haven’t mastered, tending to rely on well worn cliches and lots of generalisations in order to fit in. I’ll say that again - the more you reveal about your authentic self, the easier it’ll be to connect with your vibe of people 🙌🏽 Dating apps are not the place to fit it. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop whoop, it’s Megan in the house, shooting in the cool neighbourhood of The Custard Factory in Birmingham. J’adoring these shots, full of personality and good times. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #datingapps #datingtips #explorepage #profilephoto #profilepic #datingadvice #singlelifestyle #explorereels #singlemomlife #datingcoach #datingadvice #datingphoto #datingphotography #datingphotographerlondon #onlinedatingphotographer #newprofilepic #selflove #profilepictures #soulmate #birminghamphotographer #portaitphotography #personalbranding #personaldatingbrand #goodtimes #datingmindset #mindsetmatters
I hope I never have to hear the words ‘fatfishing’ ever again … yuck … but while we’re here, this is a useful and timely reminder to check that the set of photos you have on your dating app profile are up-to-date and pretty much representative of who you are today. Research has shown that if you use photos that misrepresent you in any way, your date will feel deceived. Eek. And since going on dates is a key way to find out how trustworthy someone is, you’ll have blown it before they’ve even sat down and got a drink in their hand. I’m not just talking about weight here, of course. We’re all changing all the time, inside and out and the more your profile pics can capture the latest iteration of you, the better it’ll be. As the woman says in the article, it isn’t so much their size that’s the issue, she’s into dad bods apparently, it’s to do with the deceit. You don’t want to build something with someone who’s ok to start a romantic connection based on that. What do you think? Have you experienced any form of this? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating photo tip Hold something 💛 When we’re in front of a camera lens, many of us feel self-conscious and often our first thought is ‘But what should I do with my hands?’ Holding something in your hand is a great way to relax your body and focus on looking and feeling good instead. Even better, is when you hold something you love 💛💛 When you hold something you love like a plant, your camera, your dog or guitar you feel instantly good, as your focus shifts from the shoot to something that brings you joy. It has the added benefit of telling people more about who you are, your personality interests and passions🍦 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hey Saturday - because you’re worth it. So much love for these gorgeous shots taken by Livia in one of our newest locations - Salford Quays. We’re loving this Manchester location as it tends to be pretty quiet, it’s by the water and there’s still lots of colour to add vibrancy and depth to the images. J’adore! Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Great profile pics attract attention. Authentic ones keep it 🔥 The biggest reason people don’t get second dates, according to Match, is because they look nothing like their profile pics. And yeah, no you aren’t going to be able to win them over on the date with your sparkling personality sadly … because, before they’ve even sat down, they feel deceived by you. And that ain’t a good look on a date. People want relationships with trustworthy people. Don’t blow it. Keep it real. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
There’s actual magic in relaxing and goofing off with your Hey Saturday photographer ✨ When people look at the photos captured by the photographer during these moments, they feel your joy, warmth and approachability. And they’ll more often than not want to connect. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
AI generated dating photos? What do you think? I mean what the f-ck? Don’t get me wrong, I’m fascinated by what’s occurring in the AI creativity space at the moment. AI generated paintings, photographs, songwriting etc. I’m fascinated yeah and kind of a little horrified at the same time, I think. So yeah, for $19 you can head to Photo AI, upload some photos of yourself and they’ll generate a set of dating profile pics. Hurrah, sounds like a bargain. Buuuut … when it comes to dating, well that’s something else entirely. Dating is deeply rooted in the human experience, right. So, IMO, I believe you need that connection between photographer and dater, that beautifully unique human-to-human contact… if you want to create gorgeously authentic profile pics. The word that comes to mind for me when looking at the profile pics in this article is creepy. Creepy AF. But that’s just me. I know I’m likely to biased but…it’ll always be a ‘hell no’ from me. What do you think? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Ooh yes, love it when our clients show up willing to share their personal brand magic in front of the lens. They understand what makes them unique, they feel good about themselves and they’re up for experimenting and giving things a go in front of the camera. What a combo ✨ Big kudos to Alison for creating this awesome set on the streets of Williamsburg, absolute genius. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday: the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Wanna transform your dating life in 30 days? Um… yeah that reel went so much better in my head 😂 Can you tell I’ve had a month off from the ‘gram!? Jeez. Anyways ~ I’ve just shared a blogpost ‘30 Day Challenge Ideas that will Transform your Dating Life’. 30 day challenges can be life-changing …. but really adopting a dating challenge is about allowing yourself to become more playful and experimental with your dating life. The goal here isn’t to find your soulmate. It’s about + throwing yourself into the middle of life + chucking out your rule book + rewriting your dating story + discarding those awful checklists + taking risks + getting ghosted + challenging your expectations + accepting the sting of rejection + showing up as your wonderfully weird self + feeling cherished + getting butterflies Yeah there was no way my menopausal brain was going to remember all that for the reel, so no wonder I went off topic. But I digress… So yes, basically they help you throw yourself into the glorious, messy joy that is life. When it’s couched as a challenge though, you’ll find it’a much easier to accept whatever life throws at you, because it’s ‘just an experiment’. If you’re intrigued, there’s a link to the blog in our link-tree, go check it out and let us know how you get on 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. Any photos seen are taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepaģes
2022 - you’ve been a trip I’ve said goodbye to both my beloved in-laws ❤️ And a different kind of goodbye to my therapist, after 5 years of working together…although the inner and outer transformation will go on, Richard, I promise. But, alongside the awesomeness of Hey Saturday, it’s also been a wild ride through lots of new and old favourite places from Paris to Los Angeles and it’s provided so many moments of mischievous joy with friends and family, but most of all with my favourite person on the planet who, as of a week ago, I’m lucky enough to call my hubby ❤️ 2023? Heck yeah, I’ll dance to that. #therapyiscool #growthmindset #adventuretime #traveltime #wanderlust #goodtimes #intentionalliving #explorereels #explore #adventures #mindsetmatters #intentionallife #travellife #therapyworks #traveltherapy #lifegoals #lifeisgood #everythingislove #everythingisenergy #everythingiscool #innerwork #innerwisdom #innertransformation #transformative #habloespañol #losangeleslife #parisianstyle
✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
You get a couple of seconds to make an impression, so make those seconds count. Our fave dating photos are ones that are compelling, colourful, creative, story-telling, authentic, vibrant and, of course, ones that make you smile. Great set from Alison in downtown Manhattan, NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, NYC #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop! Reliving happy moments from last month when I was visiting LA and was hanging out in Abbot Kinney, the Arts District Downtown and Silver Lake, all fab Hey Saturday locations. These gorgeous shots, captured by Vanessa, were taken in the Arts District and I’m loving the energy, colour and good vibes. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
The Two Key Ingredients for a Great Dating Profile 📣 new blog post alert 📣 A new study has just dropped that encourages dating app users to embrace originality when creating their dating profile text. Just as I encourage our clients to visually show how they stand out from others in their profile pictures, this study has backed up what dating experts, like James Preece, have been saying all along too… Lose the generic, cliché-ridden text and share something meaningful instead - like what makes you special/different from everyone else. The researchers attempted to understand what precisely makes for compelling profile text. They found that highly original text tended to contain one or more of the following 5 elements: • Metaphorical expressions (e.g. “I’m a rock-star at cooking curries” vs “I’m a good cook”) • Vivid descriptions & imagery ….. .. Head to the blog to read more - link in bio. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
Love this tried and tested hack for our clients who aren’t feeling ‘enough’ the day of their dating photoshoot. The moment they take hold of something that brings them joy - their camera, their yoga mat, their boxing gloves, their paintbrush or whatever it may be - they immediately relax, smile and feel at ease with themselves. I love this moment so much and it creates such great profile pics ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
These dating photos are so my jam. I’m adoring the bold colour and variety of backgrounds. Shouts out to Suze, who shot these on the streets of Clifton Village in Bristol. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
If your dating app pics make people smile, they’re going to feel happy while looking at your profile. That means they are waaaaay more likely to want to reach out and connect with you. And that’s the kind of response we love ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes