Online dating tips: it’s all about the mindset

Online dating tips: it’s all about the mindset

Are you using the apps to meet new people or in the hopes of finding a new relationship?When was the last time you took a good look at your attitude around using them? Online dating tips, as seen on social media sites or heard on podcasts, often focus on the profile setup, but we think that a person’s mindset is equally important. 

After all, so many of us are swiping, but yet how often do we dwell on thoughts like:

  • There are no good people on here
  • Dating apps suck
  • All the decent people are taken
  • This is too much work

As with anything important that we want to improve in life, it is important to examine our mindset around online dating. Dating is meant to be enjoyable and approaching dating with a positive attitude can only help. Before you swipe, explore our five top tips for developing a positive dating app mindset. 

Online dating tips

Five mindsets for online dating success

Willingness to embrace positivity

If you are dating because you would like to meet a long-term partner, it stands to reason that you believe there is someone compatible out there for you. But how deeply do you really believe that? If you were to listen to the way you talk to your friends about the dating apps, would your words show that you believe that your person is out there somewhere?

If you are dating again after a breakup, it is natural to be worried that there isn’t anyone out there who gets us or that dating is fruitless. Disappointment after a relationship didn’t work out can really impact how we think about love and romance… and this is okay! 

But if these thoughts are drowning out the belief that you can find a compatible partner on the apps as you explore dating again it will negatively impact your experience and chances of success. If this is you, it might be a better idea to hold off while you put more time and space between the breakup and dating again.

Put the time and work into feeling positive about the apps and your chances. Getting into a mindset of positivity around dating again will boost your resiliency to the inevitable less-than-awesome first date. When you feel positive that you will eventually find the right person for your future, the occasional speed bump won’t send you into a tailspin.

If it isn’t a breakup that is causing you to feel grumpy or doubtful about dating, it may be a good idea to do some work to reframe your thoughts. Remember, positivity attracts positivity! 

“Finding love on the apps is possible for me.”

 

Willingness to put in the time

The beauty of dating apps is that you will have the chance to go on multiple dates with multiple people and tweak things as you go along. The goal is to eventually really click with someone, but it rarely happens on the first try. It may happen quickly for some people, but typically it will take meeting a lot of people before making a quality connection with the potential for a long-term relationship. And aren’t the best things in life worth waiting for? 

But all too often, when things don’t happen right away, our mindset can shift to “online dating sucks” rather than “online dating is a journey.” 

There will be bumps and dead ends along the way. If you’re feeling discouraged  maybe a date you enjoyed didn’t lead to a second date or you didn’t enjoy yourself on a date, keep an eye on your perspective and attitude. 

Letting the frustration that things aren’t clicking fast enough will hold you back from finding a compatible partner because it takes time! Think about your group of school friends. You wouldn’t want to date every single person in that group, right? On the apps, you have an even bigger pool of people, with even less in common. The sheer numbers that are on the apps are both a gift and a curse. Assuming that it will take time to find a potential partner simply because you won’t click with everyone will help keep you from getting discouraged. 

A good way to look at it is to try NOT to click with people so that you will get closer to the people you will connect with! 

“I’m ready to put in however long it takes to find someone as special as me.”

 

Willingness to experiment

Using a dating app is about trial and error and seeing what works. There are filters to adjust, photos to try out, communication skills to use when chatting, a compelling bio to write, questions to answer, and more. It is important to remember that just like with many things in life and love, in order to have the best results, you may need to adjust how you do things. 

After all, Hey Saturday exists because of this need— your grainy selfies weren’t working so now you are intentionally trying something new that has a record of success and a strategy behind it. Your dating app photos are not the only area you may have to experiment with. 

Just like meeting people in real life, finding quality people online means putting your best foot forward and paying attention to the results. This may mean that you regularly make changes to your profile, ask for advice, have new photos taken, examine your texting skills, and more. Put on your scientist hat— make a hypothesis, test, adjust and repeat!

“I’ll get better at showing my authentic self online through trial and error.”

 

Willingness to set boundaries

When you are meeting new people all of the time, it’s even more  important than usual to have boundaries! Having an authentically enjoyable time while also getting closer to meeting someone you may have a relationship with means setting limits. It means knowing what you want and then being able to ask for it. And yes, it will mean saying ‘no’ and not pursuing things that you feel won’t lead to the joy you want and deserve. 

Online dating pro tip: each “no” that you use in dating is as important as each “yes.” 

Not only do you have to know what your boundaries are and communicate them, but it is essential that you be okay with enforcing them. You’re going to be on an emotional roller coaster if each time you meet someone that is a no for you, you start feeling really negative towards dating apps and the process . Remember that what is wrong for you can never be right for someone else. Know that any disappointment others may feel that you are uninterested is temporary and for the best. 

“When I say “no” to the wrong person, I am saying “yes” to the right person.”

 

Willingness to put yourself first 

How much do you put yourself as a priority? Are you a people pleaser? Are you in touch with your desires? 

There is little point to using a dating app to find a partner if you say yes to every request, swipe right on every photo, message back anyone who messages you and say yes to every date, especially if you say yes to dates you don’t want to go on.  If this is something you feel describes you, read up on scarcity mindset and how to rewrite that belief. 

Use dating apps with the goal of creating the experience that you will most enjoy. The reason we have apps is that they let us pick and choose the people and experiences that most light us up and that we resonate with. This is your chance to make the rules. And to do so you must be comfortable making them. 

“I can curate my own experience of dating apps.” 

 

Want more guidance on healing a broken heart, dating again, and building up the self-confidence to attract the best people into your life? Make sure to catch new episodes of the Ex-Philes podcast every Tuesday. 


Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast hosted by breakup coaches Clair Lofthouse and Janice Formichella. A podcast about breakups, broken hearts, and moving on, Ex-Philes is here to help anyone struggling to put a breakup behind them to turn a corner, or to support those who are ready for a positive future after a breakup. 

Head here to follow Clair on Instagram and here to follow Janice.

 
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Online Dating Photographers
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Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving these gorgeous shots captured on the colourful streets of the Northern Quarter in Manchester by our Queen of the north, Livia. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
In today's episode of the happiest dating photoshoots on earth, we head over to the gorgeous neighbourhood of Notting Hill with Nicole as our guide, as she captures moments of joy, fun and good times. You can imagine how much I'm loving these. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers, Alyssa is back in town shooting for Hey Saturday, NYC, yay. Absolutely love love loving these shots of this client captured in the Lower East Side and SoHo. Together they've created some head-turning, dating photo goodness. Photo credit: Alyssa for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The secret to having a good dating photoshoot is actually having a good time on your photoshoot (and Hey Saturday photographers know how to have a good time 🙌🏽). J'adoring this set created by Suze recently in Bristol. This client looks happy, confident and like she loves her life. The perfect vibe for dating profile pics. Kudos Suze. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We love dating profile pics that inspire joy! And these photos from one of Nicole's recent Shoreditch shoots are giving me all the joyful feels right now - LOVING this set. Do your dating pics surprise and delight? Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Plant dad! Wine and craft beer aficionado! Loving everything that's going on here. Shouts out to Vanessa for capturing this lil' bit of dating profile photo magic in the Arts District, Downtown LA Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Where focus goes, energy flows. Be the star of every single one of your dating profile pics for maximum impact. Loving these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo, yet another gorgeous, stand out set. You bring the energy and authentic vibes, we'll bring the photo talent and good times. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Shouts out to the lovely Megan who took a wee break but is back now and shooting regularly once again at the Custard Factory in Birmingham. Loving these bold, colourful shots, Megan, total flex. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Bringing flowers to your photoshoot is an absolute favourite of mine - to me it says you value nature and beauty ... and that you value yourself because you're the kind of person who treats yourself to flowers 💐 Love everything about this set from Nicole, shot in King's Cross recently. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Hey Alexa! Show me great NYC dating profile pics. Yesss, loving these. Props to Alison shooting in Bushwick for these cool gems. We offer shoots in Bushwick, Dumbo, SoHo & Williamsburg every week and finally the good weather is coming (…although not today obviously!). There is still some magic left in the world. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #dowhatyoulove #youareenough #lovelife #youareworthit #datingadvice #creativevibes #modernlove #startup #entrepreneur #brand #personalbranding #creativephotography #datenight #selfworth #loveyourselffirst #loveyourself #newprofilepic #loveyourlife #datingapps #singlelife #personalbrandingphotographer #datingphotos #mindsetreset #psychology #datingapp #onlinedatingtips
I love the year-round summer shots we get back from LA. Cannot wait to head back there myself in September 🌴 …And well these are just a whole vibe. Loving her style, her energy and how her personality shines through. Huge shouts out to Vanessa shooting in and around Venice, LA for these gorgeous shots. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Well these dating photos are so my jam. I'm adoring the bold use of colour which’ll make sure they jump out on a dating app near you. I so love it when Livia flexes her creative muscles at the Northern Quarter...✨ Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
My favourite thing on the Internet today? This glimpse of some ace profile pics from Vanessa's recent shoot in colourful Abbot Kinney, LA. J'adoring these, V. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #portraitphotography #portrait_shots #confidence #selflove #brand #personalbranding #datenight #singlelife #datingphotos #onlinedatingsite #onlinedatingapps #datingapps #datingphotoshoot #datenightoutfit #datingprofilepic #datingwithpurpose #loveonline #modernromance #modernlove #newprofilepic #newprofile #tinder #tinderprofile #tinderpic #tinderprofilepic #datingphotosformen #datingphotographer #datingphotographer
When your dating profile pics show people what matters to you, what you're about, magic is made. What would yours say about you? I'm adoring these bold, colourful, personality-driven shots taken by Kimi in Greenwich, London. Fab stuff, Kimi. Photo credit: Kimi for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Whenever I need a legit, natural high I check out the latest Hey Saturday photoshoots. J'adoring these from Nicole - the colour, the vibe, the personality..... Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We love creating dating profile pics that (probably) lead to a better dating life, good times and sometimes a love so deep, it makes the storyline from Titanic seem a bit meh. Shouts out to Alison, who shot these absolute gems in NoLita, one of my fave spots in NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I’ve never cared much for Valentine’s Day, single or otherwise, despite my line of work. (I know, I know a very unpopular opinion for someone in the dating field 😂). So instead of posting about that, I wanted to share about something I do love. After doing a diploma in Forest Bathing during lockdown to keep me outta trouble, Hey Saturday started working with the global organisation @onetreeplanted, committing to planting a tree in Ethiopia for every dating photoshoot we sell. Why Ethiopia? This tree planting project links environmental restoration with income generation, providing the local community with the knowledge and tools to conserve their land, protect their water supply, and create a sustainable, diverse economy for future generations ✨ Despite being a bit of a covid year last year, we planted 592 trees between April & December 🌿🌿🌿 so a big shout out goes to our clients for supporting us and helping make this happen. I am so looking forward to contributing many more trees in the years ahead hopefully 🙏🏽 #forestbathing #trees #treehugger #environment #climatechange #dating #antivalentinesday #deforestation #datingphotographer #loveonline #modernromance #goodtimes #onelove #datingapps #datingphotoshoot #profilepictures #brandingphotography #visualstorytelling #loveyourself #selflove
I don’t know about you but when I look at these dating pics, a whole choir of angels start singing & my heart soars. I’m just loving these shots captured by Nicole who was adventuring through Shoreditch with this lovely client. Total vibe, Nicole 👏🏽👏🏽 Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Pull up a pew, grab the popcorn and check out these West Coast vibes today, captured by Vanessa shooting in and around the Arts District of Downtown LA. These are right up my street. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time for another episode of the Happiest Dating Photoshoots on Earth... this time we're heading back to Manchester to catch up with our beloved Livia and showcase her stunning visual treat of a shoot in and around the Northern Quarter, Manchester. I don't know about you, but these pics give me joy. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos