Online dating tips: it’s all about the mindset

Online dating tips: it’s all about the mindset

Are you using the apps to meet new people or in the hopes of finding a new relationship?When was the last time you took a good look at your attitude around using them? Online dating tips, as seen on social media sites or heard on podcasts, often focus on the profile setup, but we think that a person’s mindset is equally important. 

After all, so many of us are swiping, but yet how often do we dwell on thoughts like:

  • There are no good people on here
  • Dating apps suck
  • All the decent people are taken
  • This is too much work

As with anything important that we want to improve in life, it is important to examine our mindset around online dating. Dating is meant to be enjoyable and approaching dating with a positive attitude can only help. Before you swipe, explore our five top tips for developing a positive dating app mindset. 

Online dating tips

Five mindsets for online dating success

Willingness to embrace positivity

If you are dating because you would like to meet a long-term partner, it stands to reason that you believe there is someone compatible out there for you. But how deeply do you really believe that? If you were to listen to the way you talk to your friends about the dating apps, would your words show that you believe that your person is out there somewhere?

If you are dating again after a breakup, it is natural to be worried that there isn’t anyone out there who gets us or that dating is fruitless. Disappointment after a relationship didn’t work out can really impact how we think about love and romance… and this is okay! 

But if these thoughts are drowning out the belief that you can find a compatible partner on the apps as you explore dating again it will negatively impact your experience and chances of success. If this is you, it might be a better idea to hold off while you put more time and space between the breakup and dating again.

Put the time and work into feeling positive about the apps and your chances. Getting into a mindset of positivity around dating again will boost your resiliency to the inevitable less-than-awesome first date. When you feel positive that you will eventually find the right person for your future, the occasional speed bump won’t send you into a tailspin.

If it isn’t a breakup that is causing you to feel grumpy or doubtful about dating, it may be a good idea to do some work to reframe your thoughts. Remember, positivity attracts positivity! 

“Finding love on the apps is possible for me.”

 

Willingness to put in the time

The beauty of dating apps is that you will have the chance to go on multiple dates with multiple people and tweak things as you go along. The goal is to eventually really click with someone, but it rarely happens on the first try. It may happen quickly for some people, but typically it will take meeting a lot of people before making a quality connection with the potential for a long-term relationship. And aren’t the best things in life worth waiting for? 

But all too often, when things don’t happen right away, our mindset can shift to “online dating sucks” rather than “online dating is a journey.” 

There will be bumps and dead ends along the way. If you’re feeling discouraged  maybe a date you enjoyed didn’t lead to a second date or you didn’t enjoy yourself on a date, keep an eye on your perspective and attitude. 

Letting the frustration that things aren’t clicking fast enough will hold you back from finding a compatible partner because it takes time! Think about your group of school friends. You wouldn’t want to date every single person in that group, right? On the apps, you have an even bigger pool of people, with even less in common. The sheer numbers that are on the apps are both a gift and a curse. Assuming that it will take time to find a potential partner simply because you won’t click with everyone will help keep you from getting discouraged. 

A good way to look at it is to try NOT to click with people so that you will get closer to the people you will connect with! 

“I’m ready to put in however long it takes to find someone as special as me.”

 

Willingness to experiment

Using a dating app is about trial and error and seeing what works. There are filters to adjust, photos to try out, communication skills to use when chatting, a compelling bio to write, questions to answer, and more. It is important to remember that just like with many things in life and love, in order to have the best results, you may need to adjust how you do things. 

After all, Hey Saturday exists because of this need— your grainy selfies weren’t working so now you are intentionally trying something new that has a record of success and a strategy behind it. Your dating app photos are not the only area you may have to experiment with. 

Just like meeting people in real life, finding quality people online means putting your best foot forward and paying attention to the results. This may mean that you regularly make changes to your profile, ask for advice, have new photos taken, examine your texting skills, and more. Put on your scientist hat— make a hypothesis, test, adjust and repeat!

“I’ll get better at showing my authentic self online through trial and error.”

 

Willingness to set boundaries

When you are meeting new people all of the time, it’s even more  important than usual to have boundaries! Having an authentically enjoyable time while also getting closer to meeting someone you may have a relationship with means setting limits. It means knowing what you want and then being able to ask for it. And yes, it will mean saying ‘no’ and not pursuing things that you feel won’t lead to the joy you want and deserve. 

Online dating pro tip: each “no” that you use in dating is as important as each “yes.” 

Not only do you have to know what your boundaries are and communicate them, but it is essential that you be okay with enforcing them. You’re going to be on an emotional roller coaster if each time you meet someone that is a no for you, you start feeling really negative towards dating apps and the process . Remember that what is wrong for you can never be right for someone else. Know that any disappointment others may feel that you are uninterested is temporary and for the best. 

“When I say “no” to the wrong person, I am saying “yes” to the right person.”

 

Willingness to put yourself first 

How much do you put yourself as a priority? Are you a people pleaser? Are you in touch with your desires? 

There is little point to using a dating app to find a partner if you say yes to every request, swipe right on every photo, message back anyone who messages you and say yes to every date, especially if you say yes to dates you don’t want to go on.  If this is something you feel describes you, read up on scarcity mindset and how to rewrite that belief. 

Use dating apps with the goal of creating the experience that you will most enjoy. The reason we have apps is that they let us pick and choose the people and experiences that most light us up and that we resonate with. This is your chance to make the rules. And to do so you must be comfortable making them. 

“I can curate my own experience of dating apps.” 

 

Want more guidance on healing a broken heart, dating again, and building up the self-confidence to attract the best people into your life? Make sure to catch new episodes of the Ex-Philes podcast every Tuesday. 


Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast hosted by breakup coaches Clair Lofthouse and Janice Formichella. A podcast about breakups, broken hearts, and moving on, Ex-Philes is here to help anyone struggling to put a breakup behind them to turn a corner, or to support those who are ready for a positive future after a breakup. 

Head here to follow Clair on Instagram and here to follow Janice.

 
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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
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Let your dating profile pics show people how you move through the world ✨✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
Heck yes, this is why we call our photoshoots the happiest dating photoshoots. J’adoring these gorgeous shots created by Livia in the colourful Northern Quarter. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots ✨ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
The world is so ready for you to show up in a meaningful way on your dating profile 👏🏽👏🏽 All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers ✨✨ You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
Hey go-getters, thrill-seekers and online daters.... our dating photoshoots are a good time. Absolutely j’adoring these gorgeous shots created by Vanessa at Abbot Kinney & as I’m currently chilling in LA, I thought I just gotta share. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
+ Take up space in the frame + Taking up a lot of physical space in the frame instantly makes you more attractive to others…. …Researchers discovered that open body language or “expansive postures” conveys both confidence as well as a sense of openness. People are more likely to come across as warm, friendly, trustworthy as well as comfortable in their own skin - great for dating pics ✨ You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Well this dating photoshoot is just a whole vibe. Shouts out to Megan for creating this fab set and huge kudos to the client who brought his A-game, dang. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham You have been watching Hey Saturday 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
It’s soooo important to get your self-talk right on a dating photoshoot… I mean nobody’s perfect but dang do we all fall short so beautifully 🔥🔥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Brighton dating photoshoot 🔥🔥 I was lucky enough to head to Brighton this week and catch up with one of our Brighton photographers, Lauren … & I gotta tell you, it's a dang-good gorgeous place for a dating photoshoot. Check out these cool shots from Lauren, who transforms the streets into a Hey Saturday playground. Loving the colour, personality and vibrance. Photo credit: Lauren for Hey Saturday, Brighton You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Never underestimate the power & magic of goofing off during your dating photoshoot. It helps create the best profile pics & usually means you end up having a good time 😆 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest… & er goofiest dating photoshoots 🔥 *Filmed by @northernmunki #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #goofingoff #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
LOVE LOVE LOVE these dating profile pics shot by Alison in SoHo, NYC. And this lovely client, Alice, enjoyed it so much she invited me on her podcast Weekly Woman 🎧 She has some incredible guests on her show so I was very touched to be included. Thank you Alice. Check out her other episodes wherever you listen to your podcasts 🙌🏽 Photo credit: Alison, Hey Saturday New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots ✨ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Heck yeah… imagine a world where you’re excited by your dating app profile… All photos by Hey Saturday dating photographers in the UK & US. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Every profile pic is a dialogue - what do yours say about you? Love these shots from Alison - so dynamic and engaging - the kind of photos that pull you in. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday: the happiest dating photoshoots ✨ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What I love about our dating photoshoots is that people often come away with more than just standout dating pics. They come away with renewed confidence, a sense of adventure and a willingness to experiment, have fun and put themselves out there. They come away feeling good about what lies ahead. And that feeling is ✨ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
When you're intentional with your profile pics, you're in charge of the message you're sharing with the world. And then you can attract more of the right kind of people. Loving these shots from our dating photo queen, Nicole shot on the streets of Shoreditch. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
So yes… making eye contacting in most of your dating app profile pics is hugely important, but … including one or two candid-style shots can increase likes by 15%, according to Hinge recently. We love a candid shot…they’re natural, relaxed and capture you just living & loving your life - adding lots of value to your dating profile ✨ All photos taken by UK & US Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hello lovers! Our favourite vibe for a dating photoshoot is to show up with a willingness to experiment, express yourself and enjoy yourself ✨ Love the colour, the vibes and the personality captured here by our Queen of the North, Livia. Brava Livia, fab set. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Self-acceptance makes dating photoshoots and going on dates way more fun. Self-acceptance is my answer to pretty much everything. Don’t put your dating life on hold until you’ve reached your ideal weight, got your dream job, own that outfit you love… you are enough right now ✨ All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating app photos are the ones that show people looking happy, inspired and excited with life. Vanessa over in LA has captured a beautiful, vibrant and fun set in Abbot Kinney - just fab. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
How to Dating Photo… in This Heat 🔥🔥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving these gorgeous shots captured on the colourful streets of the Northern Quarter in Manchester by our Queen of the north, Livia. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages