How to talk yourself down from a dating anxiety spiral

How to talk yourself down from a dating anxiety spiral

Dating anxiety usually stems from one thing – lack of confidence. Even if everything is going great with your dating, going out to meet a stranger for the first time can sometimes strike fear into the hearts of even the most seasoned online daters. First, there’s the anxious running commentary inside your head – “will they like me? What if we’re incompatible?” Then, if you find yourself having had a string of bad dates in a row, it can make you feel really low and self doubt starts to creep in – it’s enough to make anyone fall out of love with online dating. Soon you’re so lacking in confidence that your anxiety is coming across on dates and before you know it you’re in a downward spiral that’s only going to get worse.

So how do you shake yourself out of this? Here’s our Hey Saturday three step guide:

Find ways to boost your confidence

First you need to step back and take stock – maybe this means taking a break from dating for a week or two and having some valuable ‘me’ time. Getting yourself out of that anxiety spiral is all about reminding yourself how amazing you are. So make time to do things that are going to get you feeling tip top again. Whether it’s going for a spa day with the girls, getting a drastic new haircut or buying a couple of fab new outfits; do whatever it takes to rediscover your mojo.


Press the reset button

Once you’ve taken a break and are feeling good about yourself again, it’s time to reboot your dating profile and have a fresh start. Now you’ve got your new haircut and wardrobe, you can rebuild your personal brand. Spend some time rewriting your dating profile. Crucially, get yourself some hot new dating photos. You’ll be amazed what this will do for your confidence. It’s not just about how good you’ll feel about the quality of the photos, but actually going on your dating photo shoot will be a feel-good, confidence-boosting experience.

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Try a different online dating site

It’s fair to say that the various dating sites on offer each have a different feel and attract a slightly different audience. So if you’ve been using the same site for while and are finding yourself stuck in an anxiety spiral, it could be that the site you’re using isn’t quite right for you. By giving a different site a go you might discover a new approach and breathe new life into your dating. Plus it’s a perfect excuse to try out your new dating profile and your kick ass new dating photos. Very soon you’ll be back to the best version of you and back in love with online dating.

Written by Hey Saturday photographer and marketing expert, Lauren

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