10 ways to spot genuine people when you’re online dating
Dating genuine people is the holy grail. They are the gold dust of dating – they are the ones whose profiles everyone flocks to, who everyone wants to go on dates with and who really sparkle when you meet them. Being true to yourself takes confidence, which makes these people fun to hang out with. Plus we are naturally drawn to their traits of uniqueness and individuality. How do you tell them apart from the fakers though? Here are ten traits of genuine online daters to help you…
Genuine people look natural in their profile photos
Genuine people want dating photos that look like them. They want their photos to show them wearing the things they wear, and in natural poses that reflect who they are. They aren’t interested in dating pics that present a false image with high tech lighting trickery or over the top hair and make-up styles that they would never normally choose to wear. If the photos look relaxed and natural, chances are the person in the photos is too.
Their photos show something about them
Genuine people want you to know about them, because they have nothing to hide and they want to meet people like them. So they want their photos to show as much of their personality as possible. Look out for dating photos that give you clues about the person in the images – perhaps they are doing something they love, like browsing a second hand bookstore, sipping a coffee whilst they design something on their Mac, or walking in a pretty park.
Their bio and their photos seem to match
With genuine people, what you see is what you get – they’re not able to be false. So what they say about themselves in their bio is exactly what you see when you look at their photos. For example, if they say they really love fashion, then their photos will illustrate their trendsetter vibe in everything from what they’re wearing to what they’re doing in the images. If they say they’re a sporty kinda guy then you can expect to see a sporty vibe with a casual look. Someone whose description of themselves seems to jar with their dating pics might not be as genuine.
When you meet them, they look like their photos
Anyone who’s spent any time online dating will have been on dates with people who look absolutely nothing like the photos in their online dating profile. Either they look much older, or they are much smaller, or they are just nowhere near as hot. Of course we all want photos that are flattering, but there’s no reason why you can’t have gorgeous dating photos that still present the real you. This is a much more genuine approach to dating and will pay dividends in the long run.
They want to find out about you
Because genuine people have no other motives when online dating than to meet great people they can connect with, they are really interested in finding out lots about you on your date. They aren’t going on dates for an ego boost, they’re not out on dates when they shouldn’t be, and they aren’t trying to scam you. So the conversation should seem to flow naturally with plenty of questions about your interests. Be wary if the person just seems to want to talk about themselves.
They don’t hide important details
When online dating, it’s only fair that major life circumstances, such as children, should be out in the open quickly. This isn’t an issue for genuine people because they are who they are and they’re proud of it – they want to meet someone who loves everything about them. If your date is planning to go off travelling next year or if they’re going through a divorce for example, you can expect a genuine person to be upfront within the first couple of dates.
They talk openly about their passions
If someone talks openly about how much they dig a certain topic, for example in their bio and whilst out on your date, it’s because it’s genuinely important to them and they don’t care who knows it. They’re not trying to be someone else; this is what they’re passionate about and that’s that. Less genuine people might try to hide certain things about themselves or present a certain version of themselves to the world.
They don’t make odd requests
Alarm bells should start to ring if your date is asking for things that seem a bit odd or make you uncomfortable – for example, insisting they come and pick you up from your house before your date, asking for lots of intimate personal or financial details on the first date, or asking you for money. These could all be signs of scammers and if you come across these, it’s best to trust your instincts, even if the person initially seems interesting or fun. Unfortunately, it’s likely they are not genuine.
They don’t care what you think of them
We all want to make a good impression when online dating, but for genuine people, this doesn’t come at the price of being something they’re not. If you get to the end of the date and you haven’t clicked or you don’t have enough in common, that’s fine by them. They’ll just move on and meet someone else. It takes confidence to be yourself, and this confidence means they aren’t that bothered if people don’t like them.
They rock self love
Genuine people often have strength of character, and this means they know that their own happiness and well being is important. Part of self love is embracing and loving the things that make us different, so genuine people are happy to show their quirks and eccentricities in their dating profile and in their dating pics. If you’ve come across someone who looks and sounds completely unique, it could be that this person is genuine and loves the skin they’re in.
Words by Lauren, photos by Saskia