6 kick-ass ways to be your own dating cheerleader

6 kick-ass ways to be your own dating cheerleader

The six kick-ass ways to be your own dating cheerleader

It’s Sunday morning and you’re dying inside a little as you remember the carnage that was last night’s date. You can feel your thoughts spiralling out of control as you start mentally beating yourself up for messing up another online dating relationship. OK, maybe I’m being a little melodramatic, but I’m sure you’ve all experienced that sinking feeling as yet another short online dating relationship draws to an untimely (or indeed timely) close. I want to help you shake it off and learn to be your own dating cheerleader. I talk a lot about the importance of self-love on my blog but an abundance of self-love all day every day can take work. Some days, a lot of work. So I wanted to share with you my top tips for being your own kick-ass cheerleader. That way, when the next relationship goes south, you’re ready to pick yourself off, dust yourself down and carry on dating with an upbeat mind and heart.

Shut down your inner critic

Whenever I feel my self-love taking a battering, it’s usually because I’ve let that inner critic in my head run riot unsupervised up there. So the very first thing to do is to shut that voice down.  You know the voice I mean, it’s the one that tells you all the things that are wrong about you or goes on about all the things you can’t do or can’t have. How depressing, no one can summon up the will to have an awesome date with that negative voice chipping away at you inside. To shut it down, take the time to tune into it. You need your conscious mind to step in and recognise how it is tricking you into holding yourself back and putting yourself down. Recognise the inner critic for what it is, your fears, and make the decision that your fears aren’t going to be in control anymore.

Remind yourself why you’re so cool / lovely / awesome

Once the inner critic is back under control, take some time out to remind yourself why you’re so cool (or lovely or awesome). I write down all the things I can think of that I love about myself. And then I force myself to write down another ten. If you get stuck, send a quick text to your best mate or your mum and ask them to help. It’s important to fill your head with all the great stuff about you. What you think is your reality, so make sure whatever you’re thinking about yourself is 100% positive.

Build in time for a daily pep talk

Daily pep talks are like the soothing voice of the anti inner critic so it’s really important to make time for this. Your pep talk doesn’t need to be long or complicated, it just needs to be from the heart – you need to believe it – and it needs to be repeated as often as possible. One of the easiest and most effective pep talks I use is borrowed from the amazing author, blogger and influencer, Kamal Ravikant, who wrote Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. His pep talk (although he doesn’t call it that), is this, as he explains to James Altucher:

I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I would repeat it all day.

If you do it often enough, it totally drowns out the inner critic all on its own. Find your own pep talk that works for you. Keep it short and sweet. Repeat. Repeat and repeat.

Dare yourself to do something that scares you once a week

At the start of every week, I make sure there is something in my calendar that is going to scare me. I do this because I work for myself and with no boss breathing down my neck, it’d be easy to stay within my comfort zone, but to the detriment of my business, of course. The amazing stuff doesn’t happen inside your comfort zone. Well, it’s pretty much the same with dating. If you always date within your comfort zone…well do I need to go on? Lets just say, there’s probably a good reason why you’re not a happy dater. When you do something that challenges you and scares you, as horrible as it feels when you set out to do it, it feels absolutely brilliant when you’ve done it. Believe me. Even if it doesn’t go to plan, you still feel pretty pleased with yourself because you know you put yourself out there and gave it a shot. Imagine how it’ll feel when it goes really well?  It’ll feel amazing. You’ll be literally buzzing with pleasure. You’ll feel great about yourself. And you may even end up on the greatest adventure of your love life.

Help others, don’t compare yourself to others

With our social media obsession on the up, many of us live our lives online following lots of cool people, friends and friends of friends on blogs, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. And it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to them…and then finding ourselves falling short. This leads us straight back into the downward cycle where the inner critic takes over again. It’s not easy to stop doing this, I should know, I’m always tempted to compare myself with others every time I log on to Facebook. But one thing that helps, is to shift the focus from comparing yourself to others, to offering to help others. Helping others is a tried and tested way of feeling good about yourself. It really works. Plus other people will love you and respect you for it. Recognise your worth, offer to share it with others and I promise you’ll up your self-love quota massively.

Reward yourself

Finally, it’s really important to reward yourself for all your successes (big and small). It shows that you value yourself and you recognise that you deserve to be treated well. Of course, this is a great excuse to go out and buy that those killer new shoes but if you’ve been challenging and scaring yourself on a weekly basis, then heck yes, you definitely deserve it.

 

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Online Dating Photographers
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I think I know which photo is gonna be her ‘talking point’ pic 😆 Our favourite dating profile pics are those that make people feel happy, curious, interested and energised when they see them. This set, taken by Vanessa in Los Angeles, makes me feel all those things and more! Loving them, Vanessa. I love how the client turned up with the energy she wanted to showcase in her photos, dang🔥🔥 Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapp #datingtips #datingprofile #datingprofilepic #datingphoto #onlinedating #datingphotos #datingpics #onlinedatingtips #datingadvice #single #happysinglelife #brandidentity #personalbranding #personalbrandingtips #visualstorytelling #modernlove #modernromance #datingapps #datingmindset #goodtimeswithgoodpeople #goodtimes
Come for the cool dating profile pics, stay for the ...um cool dating profile pics. Today's big shout out goes to Kimi who shoots south London Loving the vibe of this shoot shot in Peckham. Photo credit: Kimi for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I'm in a New York state of a mind today and thought I'd share the vibe. I'm loving these shots taken by Alison in and around SoHo. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Earlier this year we launched a new Manchester location and I can’t believe I haven’t shared any pics yet. My bad… So this post is celebrating the joy, colour and spirit of our Salford Quays Hey Saturday photoshoots, thanks to Livia & her photoshoot magic ✨. Shouts out Livia, loving these. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving the adventure Vanessa and this client had in Abbot Kinney, LA. These photos are sweet as... Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We see a crazy, bright dating future for this client. Huge shouts out to Alison, who shoots in and around Soho every week, creating dating photo awesomeness like this. Loving these. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers 🎉 …. these shots are a whole nuther level of gorgeousness. Huge shouts out to Nicole for these gems, J’adore them so much. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The real flex is creating dating profile pictures that stand out and help you do you. J'adoring these bold, colourful shots from Livia in the Northern Quarter. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #manchesterdating #manchester #manchesterstyle
We’re not just all about the city streets, we do park shoots too 🌿 and… well these profile pics are just a breath of fresh air. We're heading to the parks of Clifton Village in Bristol for these gorgeous shots, taken by our Bristolian super star, Suze. If you want some park photos, autumn is a beautiful time of year to do this… 🍁 Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Holy dating photos, I love these. Nicole does her thang at King's Cross with these cool shots. Sweeeeeet work, Nicole. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #storytelling #visionboarding #datingapp #datingadvice #authentic #authenticity #tinder #newprofilepic #profilepictures #datingphotography #datingphotos #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotographer #brandingphotography #personalbranding #onlinedating #goodtimes #goodvibes #confidence #menstyle #brandidentity #romance #modernlove #joy #happylife
In today's episode of the happiest photoshoots on earth, we hotfoot it over to Bristol for these absolutely cool and stunning shots from our one & only Suze. Absolutely j'adoring these shots, Suze. Kudos to you and this fab client who created actual literal magic together. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Some people just look like they know how to have a good time. Loving these ace dating profile pictures from Kate, who captures personality like a queen. Photo credit: Kate for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
So yeah, I did a thing… Hey Saturday now has a podcast mini series, ‘Shoot Your Shot - The Art of Dating Profile Pictures’, for all your dating profile photo needs in one place 🎧✨ Press play on this show for jam-packed mini episodes that will inspire you to experiment, have fun and aim higher when creating your profile pictures for online dating apps. I share my top mindset shifts and practical steps you can take to create dating profile photos that are both visually and emotionally compelling, to help you attract more and better quality matches on dating apps. This podcast is for people with a short attention-span but a big vision for their love lives 🙌🏽 Link in bio 👀 Hosted by me, Saskia Podcast logo and art by the incredible @teadayblogs from Coppie and Paste Produced by that cutie @northernmunki Podcast music by me @saskia_nelson in conjunction with GrooveApp (who did most of the heavy lifting to be fair) #datingpodcast #datingpodcasts #newpodcast #newpodcastalert #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happysingle #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Well these are just a whole vibe. Shouts out to Livia who transforms the streets of Manchester into the perfect Hey Saturday playground & huge kudos to the client who brought his A-game, dang 🙌🏽🏀 Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Break time is over.. everyone back on the bus. Summer is speeding to an end but I still have our gorgeous summer shoots to remind me of warmer days. Loving the vibe of these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo - one of my favourite NYC locations. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I love all our Hey Saturday locations, but I ain't gonna lie, I have a HUGE soft spot for our Abbot Kinney/Venice shoots. They always inspire joy, love and good times every time I see them - perfect for dating profile pictures. Big ups to Vanessa for these crazy-good shots. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapps #onlinedating #datingprofilepic #datingtips #datinglife #singlelife #datingphotographer #onlinedatingphotographersla #onlinedatingphotographer #visualstorytelling #personalbranding #brandingphotography #modernlove #tinderpic #newprofilepic #goodtimes #creative #datingadvice #datingafterdivorce #happylife #joy
I was invited on @unhingedandbumbledup podcast the other day & it was probably the most fun I’ve had recording a podcast. Ahead of the show, I had to give them both a dating photo challenge and they presented the photos they created to me during the show. Tune into to see who does it better, Phil or Jane. It was a super close competition to be honest… but there was a clear winner 👏🏽👏🏽 I also shared • What makes an awesome dating profile pic • Why good photos are so important • My 4 top favourite date spots around the globe (I just couldn’t choose one) and much more… Have you subscribed to this chatty, fun show that shares experiences and opinions on how to navigate the tricky world of dating to come out on top? Thanks for having me Phil & Jane 🙏🏽 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #newpodcast #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #datingpodcast #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
…how would you show up? I get a lot of emails from clients asking how and where they can do their photoshoots without many people seeing them. Ummm …. To be fair, it’d probably be my first question too, if I were in their shoes. I’m not exactly known for being a natural badass in front of the lens (there’s a reason I prefer being behind it!). But, thing is, those people really don’t care about what’s happening in your photoshoot. And why would you concern yourself worrying about what people - you don’t even know - think about you for 30 seconds? Fear makes no sense, even after you unpick it and challenge it. It’s still there. Being fearless is actually really hard… however you could try this… choose to ‘act as if’ you’re fearless! Yeah, how would that look? How would you show up then? Really think about how you would approach it. And then, just as an experiment, do that. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
+ The Ex-Philes Podcast + I had the pleasure of being invited onto an episode of the dating podcast, ’The Ex-Philes: Break-ups, Broken Hearts and Moving On’ recently & was interviewed by the two awesome hosts, Clair Lofthouse & Janice Formichella. Thank you so much to both of you, I really enjoyed connecting & sharing my top dating profile picture expertise with you. If you are getting over a breakup? I would highly recommend tuning in & subscribing. Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast all about healing a broken heart, building your confidence, and moving forward in an empowered way. Their favorite topics include healing from heartbreak, dating, ghosting, no contact, toxic relationships, communication, self-help, attachment styles and more. Thanks Janice & Clair 🙏🏽 #onlinedatingphotographer #datingpodcast #singlewomen #singlemen #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world. Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥 And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance. #onlinedatingphotographer #singlewomen #singlemen #onlinedatingapps #datingphotos #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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