5 skills to master before your next first date

5 skills to master before your next first date

The 5 skills to master before your next first date

I recently posted on Huffington Post, “The only 5 first date questions you’ll ever need” and that got me to thinking about how else you can prepare yourself so that you rock that next first date. Read on for the 5 skills I reckon you need to master to blow your date away.

 

1. Learn to avoid taking anything personally

The key to getting through lots of first dates unscathed, and in fact the key to getting through life more or less unscathed, is to avoid taking things too personally. Learn to rely on yourself and know yourself rather than seeking validation from others. When you look to others for validation you’re handing over your personal power to them to decide how to think and feel about you. Sounds awful when you put it like that, doesn’t it? If you head to your date, feeling confident and knowing you’ve got your own back no matter what happens, you’ll be able to handle any dating situation with humour, good grace and jazz hands.

 

2. Become an expert at active listening… and listen without judgement

Listening is actually a skill that most people struggle with. You know those occasions when you’re chatting to your friends or in a work meeting and you can barely contain yourself because you can’t wait to get your two pence worth in? Or those times when you’re listening but you’re also on Twitter? Well, it turns out that isn’t actually active listening. Who knew? Unless you’re a coach, therapist or someone else whose job it is to listen to people, then there’s a chance you’ve never been taught how to actively listen. But being listened to is one of the nicest feelings and a guaranteed way to make people feel special with relatively little effort. The idea isn’t to stay schtum, but to really listen to what they are saying and take the time to respond appropriately with nods of the heads and by repeating elements of what they’ve said back to them, without giving in to that overwhelming need to jump in and talk over them. One of the key things here is to listen without judgement. There’s nothing less attractive on a date (well there probably is actually but that’s another blogpost) than your date making judgemental comments about what you’re saying. Building on that, bring up things they’ve said later in the conversation to show that you were really listening and taking in what they said.

dating profile photos

 3. Ask the right questions

Asking questions is the easiest way to get people to open up and indeed asking them in the right way is better. Ask open questions rather than closed ones so that they will naturally talk more to answer them. People generally love talking about themselves so it’s a good way of relaxing your date. Questions which focus on getting them to reveal their values and lifestyle choices are great for first dates as per my blog for Huffington Post above. But another good tact to get them to warm to you and open up to you is to ask them for advice. People love to feel needed, so choose something that you think they’ll know about and ask away.

 

4. Pay super close attention to body language

About 55% of what you convey when you speak comes from body language so taking the time to register what exactly their body language is saying to you is really useful. You’ll be able to read if someone is into your or not by the direction their feet point, how they hold their arms and whether they’re smiling a lot or not. Smiling is hugely important on first dates, of course as is keeping your palms facing up. Tilting the head goes down a treat and try to keep your chin down so that it doesn’t look like you’re looking down on them. According to the experts, anything going up and elevating is open and comforting (e.g. lifting up your eyebrows) whilst you should avoid compressing anything (think of pursed lips, frowning etc). Apparently slow smiles are the best. You heard it here!

 

5. Keep it real

Online dating is full of people who, choosing to play it safe, talk about themselves in meaningless cliches. This makes it challenging to find out if someone is really a good fit for you. Opening up isn’t easy but if you focus on keeping things real and sharing the things about you that really matter, your values, your talents, your passions etc then you’ll find you’re more likely to attract people who are right for you

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
get back into online dating

Choose profile pics that tell people what it would be like to date you. What it would be like to be in a relationship with you. This will help you attract people who resonate more with your vibe.

Show them who you are, what you love, where you like to hang out, what you love to do.

Showing up authentically in your photos will help secure more and better quality dates 🙌🏽.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #datingprofilephotography
...

44 8

Wait what? If you’re not doing this already, here’s a super simple way to increase the attention you’re attracting online.... by 27% according to @tinder.

As an experiment this week, swap out your leading photo if it doesn’t clearly show all of your face. Swap out pictures of your face that are in profile, half hidden in shadow or by sunglasses, anything like that.

Choose, instead, a good quality, well-lit, smiling close-up of your face and shoulders.

Make sure your smile or laugh is a natural one - you’ll know by checking to make sure your eyes are engaged in the smile too.

They’ll be the tell-tell crinkling of your upper cheeks. This is important to check as people are subconsciously drawn to genuine smiles and put off by fake ones.

And make sure your eyes are looking at the camera. It’s more engaging. Your eyes are the most important part of the photo - it where people look first and subconsciously decide whether you’re trustworthy or not.

OK, let me know how you get on. Oh yes and don’t forget to include bright red somewhere in the shot, if you can, to really maximise the attention you’re attracting to your profile.

#tinder #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #datingprofilephotography
...

58 0

Whether you’re aware or not, your clothes are telling people a powerful story about you.

They can reveal things like what mood you’re in, what kind of lifestyle you lead, what you’re into, how much money you might earn and even how you feel about yourself.

Wow, ok. Super revealing. (And also I’m really glad no one has been able to see what I’ve been wearing the last month or so 🙈).

But, that said, there’s evidence to suggest you don’t have to dress how you feel... but how you want to feel. Brilliant!

This means, when you’re heading out for your dating photoshoot and on dates, you can choose clothes with intention. Ones that make you feel sexy, confident, in control, feminine, cool, flirty, formal, informal, comfortable or whatever you want to say about you. Keep it authentic though. The clothes need to feel right, don’t force it.

I love knowing that simply by tweaking your outfit, you can improve your whole mood and uplift your confidence levels 🔥🔥

#pyschologyofclothing #clothing #fashion
#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #datingprofilephotography
...

86 4

It’s party time at Hey Saturday HQ 🌿

We have just started a partnership with @onetreeplanted. For every Hey Saturday photoshoot we sell, a tree is planted in Ethiopia.

I’ve finally woken up and realised you can’t build a just and equitable society on a planet that’s been destabilised by human activity.

The fights against climate change and racial injustice are deeply intertwined as marginalised communities are disproportionately impacted by it.

Recently, I’ve fallen in love with trees through my forest bathing practice and they are pretty dang magical at helping to save our planet.

The tree planting project in Ethiopia links environmental restoration with income generation, providing the local community with the knowledge and tools to conserve their land, protect their water supply and create a sustainable, diverse economy for future generations 🙌🏽

*Huge thank you to David Attenborough whose powerful documentary, Our Planet, needs to be seen by everyone. It’s a huge fuck-off wake up call. We’re killing off the planet and marginalised communities are already suffering for it.

#tree_magic #trees #onetreeplanted #planetearth #savetheplanet #savetheearth #racism #equality #equalrights #lifeonearth #forest #forestbathingtherapy #ethiopia #planetearth #healthyliving
...

57 19

💋9 indulgent ways to be your own dang Valentine💋

If you’re single today and feeling it, maybe it’s time to get indulgent and celebrate yourself and your most important relationship ever. If you can be someone who makes YOU happy, that’s literally the most important thing.

Plus, being single is cool af and always worth celebrating when you can. Here are 9 indulgent ways you might celebrate yourself today... give me a shout if you have others 🙌🏽

❤️ Dress up
❤️ Fill your day with positive affirmations spoken out loud to the mirror and then repeated in your head like a background mantra (sounds woo woo, but once you get over that, this is pure awesomeness)
❤️ Go back to bed and indulge in some sweet, sweet self-loving
❤️ Treat yourself to something a bit special (buy yourself a nice present online, something you’ve had your eye on maybe)
❤️ Pick up some flowers for yourself - you’re gonna be home a lot to enjoy them this week
❤️ Take a social media break & focus on doing exactly what you fancy doing
❤️ Take the focus off yourself for a while. Phone your gran, write a letter to an old friend, make a donation to a charity, buy from a black and /or LGBTQ+ owned business or something like that. (Also do that last one whenever you can). Doing something nice for someone else is always a guarantee to make you feel good
❤️ Cook, bake or make exactly what you fancy eating right now, however indulgent
❤️ And my personal favourite- dig out your bike, skateboard, rollerblades or whatever you have lying around that you loved doing as a kid outdoors - head out to the park and celebrate that kid inside, they need letting out to play now and again and today seems like a great day for that...

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #valentines
#galentines
...

47 1

I noticed we have a lot of new followers so I wanted to say hey & thank you for following & also ask where you’re all from in the world. I’m Saskia, I run Hey Saturday & I’m a Brit currently living in Spain. And you?

I’m so glad you’re here. Hey Saturday loves to help people show up authentically in their dating profile pictures to help them attract more people who resonate with them.

📌 If you want me to check out your current dating app pics and share my thoughts on them, hit me up in my DMs. I’m really up for doing Tinder Photo Surgeries on Live 😆😀

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #datingprofilephotography
...

98 7

I say this a lot but... Your photoshoot ain’t just a photoshoot... it’s your opportunity to tell people who you are. What you stand for. What makes you special. Why they should date you over everyone else.

Your profile pics should give them an insight into what it’s like to date you. To be in a relationship with you. (The best bits, of course, not the couch-potato, sweat-pant version).

Show them glimpses of what you’re about. What you like to wear. What you’re into. Where you like to hang. How you like to spend your time. Your temperament. If done well, your profile pics can help you attract your tribe, people who resonate with your vibe.

Take a fresh look at your photos next time you log on and check what they are saying about you?

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #datingprofilephotography
...

54 2

Today’s shout out goes out to all our clients who said they felt a bit silly googling ‘dating profile pics’ til they found us.
We’re so here for you 🤩

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen
...

43 1

To the lovely person who slid into my DMs with this message, just want you to know this shout out is for you. You’ve made my week & it’s only Monday 🙌🏽🙏🏽 I needed this right now, so thank you.

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen
...

37 6

• Leverage Your Points of Difference •

We’ve all seen the cookie-cutter, identical dating app profiles & profile pics. Lots of people write variations of the same thing in their bio and have the group shot, the holiday snap & that pro one taken at their best mate’s wedding two years ago.

In 2021, we’re ready for something different. Different is the key word here. We’re dying to find out what makes you different to all the others. What makes you stand out? What’s your USP? Your secret sauce?

If you’re bold enough to start digging deep and reveal real snippets about who you are, it will pay off. You’ll start attracting people who resonate more deeply with who you are.

Before you capture some new profile pics, take the time to sit down & answer this question honestly:
What is it about you that makes you stand out from others?
Write down as many things as you can. It should cover passions, interests, skills, talents, quirks and anything else that makes you distinctly you. These are your points of difference. Choose the most positive ones and start finding ways to showcase them in your profile photos.

Dating profile pictures that actually reveal elements of your authentic story, are so much more powerful and compelling than regular photos.

This small effort could be the one thing that helps you find your lobster 🦞

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen
...

34 0

I’m finally figuring out that I can meditate & it’s not just a beautiful thing but a powerful thing. I’m still really new to it all so today, I’m very excited to be chatting here on Live to Hannah from @breathelikeabadass, a meditation teacher. She also empowers women to become more successful in life and business through her coaching and yes... meditation plays a key role in this.

I have lots of questions for her including asking about techniques for feeling calm and confident ahead of dating photoshoots and Zoom dates. Want to join?

#dowhatyoulove #youareenough #lovelife #youareworthit #creativevibes #goodvibesonly #personalbranding #coaching #meditation #meditationiskey #entrepreneur #brand #personalbranding #creative #Selflove #selfworth #loveyourselffirst #loveyourself #youareabadass #badass #loveyourlife #dating #single #photographer #datingphotos #mindsetreset #psychology #badassery #onlinedating
...

21 4

Oye, yo adoro esta cita 💚 What a cool way with words George has. I can feel some horizontal desires coming on right now, I mean it’s still the weekend...

Also... a little-known dating photo hack is have a dance to a favourite tune either before or during your dating photoshoot to get in a confident headspace, feel good and look relaxed in your profile pics. Works like a charm.... 🎧

#singlelifeproblems #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #onlinedatingsucks #onlinedatingfail #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen
...

29 6