5 skills to master before your next first date

5 skills to master before your next first date

The 5 skills to master before your next first date

I recently posted on Huffington Post, “The only 5 first date questions you’ll ever need” and that got me to thinking about how else you can prepare yourself so that you rock that next first date. Read on for the 5 skills I reckon you need to master to blow your date away.

 

1. Learn to avoid taking anything personally

The key to getting through lots of first dates unscathed, and in fact the key to getting through life more or less unscathed, is to avoid taking things too personally. Learn to rely on yourself and know yourself rather than seeking validation from others. When you look to others for validation you’re handing over your personal power to them to decide how to think and feel about you. Sounds awful when you put it like that, doesn’t it? If you head to your date, feeling confident and knowing you’ve got your own back no matter what happens, you’ll be able to handle any dating situation with humour, good grace and jazz hands.

 

2. Become an expert at active listening… and listen without judgement

Listening is actually a skill that most people struggle with. You know those occasions when you’re chatting to your friends or in a work meeting and you can barely contain yourself because you can’t wait to get your two pence worth in? Or those times when you’re listening but you’re also on Twitter? Well, it turns out that isn’t actually active listening. Who knew? Unless you’re a coach, therapist or someone else whose job it is to listen to people, then there’s a chance you’ve never been taught how to actively listen. But being listened to is one of the nicest feelings and a guaranteed way to make people feel special with relatively little effort. The idea isn’t to stay schtum, but to really listen to what they are saying and take the time to respond appropriately with nods of the heads and by repeating elements of what they’ve said back to them, without giving in to that overwhelming need to jump in and talk over them. One of the key things here is to listen without judgement. There’s nothing less attractive on a date (well there probably is actually but that’s another blogpost) than your date making judgemental comments about what you’re saying. Building on that, bring up things they’ve said later in the conversation to show that you were really listening and taking in what they said.

dating profile photos

 3. Ask the right questions

Asking questions is the easiest way to get people to open up and indeed asking them in the right way is better. Ask open questions rather than closed ones so that they will naturally talk more to answer them. People generally love talking about themselves so it’s a good way of relaxing your date. Questions which focus on getting them to reveal their values and lifestyle choices are great for first dates as per my blog for Huffington Post above. But another good tact to get them to warm to you and open up to you is to ask them for advice. People love to feel needed, so choose something that you think they’ll know about and ask away.

 

4. Pay super close attention to body language

About 55% of what you convey when you speak comes from body language so taking the time to register what exactly their body language is saying to you is really useful. You’ll be able to read if someone is into your or not by the direction their feet point, how they hold their arms and whether they’re smiling a lot or not. Smiling is hugely important on first dates, of course as is keeping your palms facing up. Tilting the head goes down a treat and try to keep your chin down so that it doesn’t look like you’re looking down on them. According to the experts, anything going up and elevating is open and comforting (e.g. lifting up your eyebrows) whilst you should avoid compressing anything (think of pursed lips, frowning etc). Apparently slow smiles are the best. You heard it here!

 

5. Keep it real

Online dating is full of people who, choosing to play it safe, talk about themselves in meaningless cliches. This makes it challenging to find out if someone is really a good fit for you. Opening up isn’t easy but if you focus on keeping things real and sharing the things about you that really matter, your values, your talents, your passions etc then you’ll find you’re more likely to attract people who are right for you

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
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I think I know which photo is gonna be her ‘talking point’ pic 😆 Our favourite dating profile pics are those that make people feel happy, curious, interested and energised when they see them. This set, taken by Vanessa in Los Angeles, makes me feel all those things and more! Loving them, Vanessa. I love how the client turned up with the energy she wanted to showcase in her photos, dang🔥🔥 Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapp #datingtips #datingprofile #datingprofilepic #datingphoto #onlinedating #datingphotos #datingpics #onlinedatingtips #datingadvice #single #happysinglelife #brandidentity #personalbranding #personalbrandingtips #visualstorytelling #modernlove #modernromance #datingapps #datingmindset #goodtimeswithgoodpeople #goodtimes
Come for the cool dating profile pics, stay for the ...um cool dating profile pics. Today's big shout out goes to Kimi who shoots south London Loving the vibe of this shoot shot in Peckham. Photo credit: Kimi for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I'm in a New York state of a mind today and thought I'd share the vibe. I'm loving these shots taken by Alison in and around SoHo. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Earlier this year we launched a new Manchester location and I can’t believe I haven’t shared any pics yet. My bad… So this post is celebrating the joy, colour and spirit of our Salford Quays Hey Saturday photoshoots, thanks to Livia & her photoshoot magic ✨. Shouts out Livia, loving these. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving the adventure Vanessa and this client had in Abbot Kinney, LA. These photos are sweet as... Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We see a crazy, bright dating future for this client. Huge shouts out to Alison, who shoots in and around Soho every week, creating dating photo awesomeness like this. Loving these. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers 🎉 …. these shots are a whole nuther level of gorgeousness. Huge shouts out to Nicole for these gems, J’adore them so much. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The real flex is creating dating profile pictures that stand out and help you do you. J'adoring these bold, colourful shots from Livia in the Northern Quarter. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #manchesterdating #manchester #manchesterstyle
We’re not just all about the city streets, we do park shoots too 🌿 and… well these profile pics are just a breath of fresh air. We're heading to the parks of Clifton Village in Bristol for these gorgeous shots, taken by our Bristolian super star, Suze. If you want some park photos, autumn is a beautiful time of year to do this… 🍁 Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Holy dating photos, I love these. Nicole does her thang at King's Cross with these cool shots. Sweeeeeet work, Nicole. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #storytelling #visionboarding #datingapp #datingadvice #authentic #authenticity #tinder #newprofilepic #profilepictures #datingphotography #datingphotos #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotographer #brandingphotography #personalbranding #onlinedating #goodtimes #goodvibes #confidence #menstyle #brandidentity #romance #modernlove #joy #happylife
In today's episode of the happiest photoshoots on earth, we hotfoot it over to Bristol for these absolutely cool and stunning shots from our one & only Suze. Absolutely j'adoring these shots, Suze. Kudos to you and this fab client who created actual literal magic together. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Some people just look like they know how to have a good time. Loving these ace dating profile pictures from Kate, who captures personality like a queen. Photo credit: Kate for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
So yeah, I did a thing… Hey Saturday now has a podcast mini series, ‘Shoot Your Shot - The Art of Dating Profile Pictures’, for all your dating profile photo needs in one place 🎧✨ Press play on this show for jam-packed mini episodes that will inspire you to experiment, have fun and aim higher when creating your profile pictures for online dating apps. I share my top mindset shifts and practical steps you can take to create dating profile photos that are both visually and emotionally compelling, to help you attract more and better quality matches on dating apps. This podcast is for people with a short attention-span but a big vision for their love lives 🙌🏽 Link in bio 👀 Hosted by me, Saskia Podcast logo and art by the incredible @teadayblogs from Coppie and Paste Produced by that cutie @northernmunki Podcast music by me @saskia_nelson in conjunction with GrooveApp (who did most of the heavy lifting to be fair) #datingpodcast #datingpodcasts #newpodcast #newpodcastalert #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happysingle #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Well these are just a whole vibe. Shouts out to Livia who transforms the streets of Manchester into the perfect Hey Saturday playground & huge kudos to the client who brought his A-game, dang 🙌🏽🏀 Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Break time is over.. everyone back on the bus. Summer is speeding to an end but I still have our gorgeous summer shoots to remind me of warmer days. Loving the vibe of these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo - one of my favourite NYC locations. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I love all our Hey Saturday locations, but I ain't gonna lie, I have a HUGE soft spot for our Abbot Kinney/Venice shoots. They always inspire joy, love and good times every time I see them - perfect for dating profile pictures. Big ups to Vanessa for these crazy-good shots. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapps #onlinedating #datingprofilepic #datingtips #datinglife #singlelife #datingphotographer #onlinedatingphotographersla #onlinedatingphotographer #visualstorytelling #personalbranding #brandingphotography #modernlove #tinderpic #newprofilepic #goodtimes #creative #datingadvice #datingafterdivorce #happylife #joy
I was invited on @unhingedandbumbledup podcast the other day & it was probably the most fun I’ve had recording a podcast. Ahead of the show, I had to give them both a dating photo challenge and they presented the photos they created to me during the show. Tune into to see who does it better, Phil or Jane. It was a super close competition to be honest… but there was a clear winner 👏🏽👏🏽 I also shared • What makes an awesome dating profile pic • Why good photos are so important • My 4 top favourite date spots around the globe (I just couldn’t choose one) and much more… Have you subscribed to this chatty, fun show that shares experiences and opinions on how to navigate the tricky world of dating to come out on top? Thanks for having me Phil & Jane 🙏🏽 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #newpodcast #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #datingpodcast #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
…how would you show up? I get a lot of emails from clients asking how and where they can do their photoshoots without many people seeing them. Ummm …. To be fair, it’d probably be my first question too, if I were in their shoes. I’m not exactly known for being a natural badass in front of the lens (there’s a reason I prefer being behind it!). But, thing is, those people really don’t care about what’s happening in your photoshoot. And why would you concern yourself worrying about what people - you don’t even know - think about you for 30 seconds? Fear makes no sense, even after you unpick it and challenge it. It’s still there. Being fearless is actually really hard… however you could try this… choose to ‘act as if’ you’re fearless! Yeah, how would that look? How would you show up then? Really think about how you would approach it. And then, just as an experiment, do that. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
+ The Ex-Philes Podcast + I had the pleasure of being invited onto an episode of the dating podcast, ’The Ex-Philes: Break-ups, Broken Hearts and Moving On’ recently & was interviewed by the two awesome hosts, Clair Lofthouse & Janice Formichella. Thank you so much to both of you, I really enjoyed connecting & sharing my top dating profile picture expertise with you. If you are getting over a breakup? I would highly recommend tuning in & subscribing. Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast all about healing a broken heart, building your confidence, and moving forward in an empowered way. Their favorite topics include healing from heartbreak, dating, ghosting, no contact, toxic relationships, communication, self-help, attachment styles and more. Thanks Janice & Clair 🙏🏽 #onlinedatingphotographer #datingpodcast #singlewomen #singlemen #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world. Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥 And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance. #onlinedatingphotographer #singlewomen #singlemen #onlinedatingapps #datingphotos #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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