8 traits to help you date with emotional intelligence

Hot off the press from our in-house blogger, Lauren 

People who have high emotional intelligence know their own feelings and are able to manage them, as well as being able to deal effectively with other people’s emotions. This makes them at an advantage in all aspects of their lives, including romance. Your emotional life, much like maths or reading, can be handled with greater or lesser skill. So what traits do emotionally intelligent people share and how can they help with online dating?


The ability to hold back and not be impulsive can be very helpful in online dating. For example, don’t tell the hot guy from your date last week that you really like him just yet! Get to know him a little more – you may have been chatting online for a couple of weeks but this person is still a stranger. Keep this trait in mind if you have a tendency to make snap decisions about people or relationships.

online-dating-profile photosPhoto credit: Saskia Nelson for Hey Saturday


Empathy is the fundamental ‘people skill’ and those with high emotional intelligence have it in spades. It’s all about recognising emotions in others and being more attuned to what they need or want. If you have this skill, you’ll find that you’re attractive to others on dates because they’ll notice that you’re really listening to them and will feel you’re on their wavelength.


Sometimes it’s hard to keep motivated with online dating, especially if you have a busy lifestyle – there are so many other demands on your time. Before you know if you’ve let your dating lapse and then later you feel down because you haven’t met anyone. To date with emotional intelligence you have to keep self-motivated. It will pay dividends in the end.


Being self aware means knowing our emotions and being able to notice our true feelings. By having a surer sense of how we feel about people, relationships and situations we are better able to make good decisions. This is important when it comes to online dating, which is all about using good judgement about people’s characters and personalities to see if you’re going to be a good fit.

Self confidence

If you’re self confident, you have a firm grasp of what it means to be ‘you’. This makes it difficult for someone to say or do something to upset you. This trait is very important in dating, where you are opening yourself up to potential hurt and heartache. Self confident people are also attractive because they are comfortable in their own skin and happy to be themselves, making them good company on dates.


People who are emotionally intelligent know that success can take time and they don’t give up. If you’ve been doing online dating for a while and haven’t yet met someone special, this one may seem even more relevant for you. We’re not suggesting you persist with relationships that aren’t working – far from it. Just keep moving on and keep meeting new people.   

good dating profile photosPhoto credit: Saskia Nelson for Hey Saturday


Optimistic people have a strong expectation that things will turn out alright in life, despite setbacks and frustrations. This trait will help you keep going with online dating without falling into apathy or hopelessness. It’s also important as we’re all naturally drawn to optimistic people with a positive outlook on life, so you’ll have more success on dates if you have this trait.


People with high emotional intelligence are curious about others, which makes online dating more fun because you’re genuinely interested in meeting new people, even if it doesn’t always lead to romance. Plus you’re more likely to take a risk and date someone who’s not your usual type, just to see what happens. Dating will never be boring if you possess this trait.

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