the people i meet | rebecca perkins

the people i meet | rebecca perkins

Introducing Rebecca Perkins

2014 has been an amazing year and, without a doubt, the thing I have enjoyed the most has been meeting and collaborating with a whole lot of fabulous people working in the field of dating. One of those people is Rebecca Perkins. When we met earlier in the year, I developed a total crush on her, as she rocked up wearing the coolest outfit with her signature converse and her gorgeous silver pixie haircut.  She came armed with a gift for me – an amazing book Best Knickers Always: 50 Lessons for midlife – that she had just had published and… well lets just say I was blown away.

Having turned 45 in 2014, I very much welcomed an inspirational midlife role model so she came into my life at the perfect time. Life is good like that. We are now about to collaborate on the most awesome project together which is literally going to change the face of dating. (As I write this, I’m multi-tasking because I’m creating a brand new website for our brand new irresistible dating venture together). Watch this space for details soon of our irresistible offering but before that, I want to introduce you to this cool woman.

 

 

1.Tell us why you do what you do? (I love hearing about people’s ‘why’)

I came through a really tough patch during my early 40s. I actually woke on my 40th birthday feeling really low, not because I was now 40 but because I realised I was deeply unhappy and I didn’t know what to do about it. I had all the trappings of a happy, married life – kids, dog etc but was empty inside. It took me 5 more years and many trips to the doctor (for antidepressants) to realise that I had to end my marriage if I was to survive. It was the toughest decision I have ever had to make as we had 3 children and had been married for 20 years. My daughter was also suffering with Anorexia at the time, I had one son preparing to leave home for University and another who had lost the plot at school. It was all piling up. At the time I was retraining to become a life coach and took up writing a blog to help me make sense of what was going on. Very quickly I realised that what I had to say in my blog was resonating with other women in midlife. What I was going through – divorce, becoming financially independent, dating once again, dealing with teenagers as a single parent etc was what others were going through too. To be an inspiration, a support for other women was wonderful. I am passionate about midlife as a beginning of the next phase of life and not the beginning of the end and I encourage other women (and men) to feel the same way. It’s a privilege to do the work that I love.

2. What are three key things you’ve learned since you’ve been involved in this line of work?
  • I’ve learned that we are way, way more courageous and resilient than we believe we are.
  • I’ve learned that to live a happy and fulfilled life (and have a positive romantic relationship) it helps enormously to have a strong sense of self, to know our values and to have boundaries.
  • I’ve learned that to be loved and to feel loveable is all we’re really looking for.
3. Given our new initiative together, Irresistible Dating, can you tell us why you think it’s so important for everyone to get their online dating profile right? 

I’m so excited about it! Online dating is a vast industry and growing daily, so many people of all ages are turning to dating websites in the hope of finding love. So much is changing and it’s happening rapidly. There is a lot of competition and we’re all short of time. When I was dating online I found I got easily frustrated by the poor quality of profiles – and as a writer it really irritated me that people put no effort or care into what they were writing. Let’s be honest, you’re writing your personal advertising campaign so it’s got to be good, right?! There’s a lot of competition out there, so by writing an interesting and intriguing profile and having great photos you shorten the odds. It’s actually easy to stand out if you put the effort in at the beginning and that starts with your username!

4. How do you plan to get the best out of people who are signing up for Irresistible Dating?

I love my work as a coach, I listen well and often pick up things clients say they’re not even aware of having said. I know already from feedback from the people I’ve be supporting as they write their irresistible profile that they feel safe and at ease stepping out of their comfort zone because they know I’m there to support and guide them. I act as their cheerleader and confidence boost too. It’s not easy opening up to someone you don’t know to share your worries and concerns about finding love. I create a space for them to explore all this, I encourage and give constructive feedback. I feel very blessed to be allowed into their world to work with them on something that is deeply private and very public at the same time.

5. And what would you say to people who might read about our new initiative and think to themselves: ‘Eeek that sounds pretty scary and a lot of hard work just to get an online dating profile, I’ll think I’ll give it a miss!’.

What we’re offering isn’t for everyone, we’re aware of that. It’s not for those who want a profile written for them or those who don’t want to spend time in thinking about what they really want.MG_0396cDigital

However, if you’re fed up with the lack of matches or lack of people that you’d imagine having a relationship with then give it a go. You just don’t know! It’s for those who really do want to give their profile its best shot and invest some time thinking about their values and what’s really important to them. It’s also important to say that I don’t write the profile for my clients, I work with them, coaxing them out of themselves in a way with lots of questions. I encourage them to get creative in their writing. It’s fun, it’s also hard work. But is it worth it? You bet!

 

5. What is the one big outcome from taking part in Irresistible Dating that makes it worth signing up for?  Is there more than one?

Oh my goodness, there are so many. Firstly there’s the fact that you’ll come away with a profile you’ve written and can be justly proud of. It’ll be you but on your very best day! You also get the opportunity for self reflection, to question your values and those things that are important to you in a relationship. So many people go into a relationship without having any idea of what they really want….and I’m not talking about a shopping list of attributes but something much deeper and longer lasting. That I think is one of the greatest outcomes, a greater sense of self awareness and that has to be a good thing.

Please complete the sentences:

I’m currently inspired by…collaboration. Two brains are way more creative than one on its own! I am also inspired daily by my children. They are the wind beneath my wings and show me what I’m capable of, they are my greatest supporters and heroes.

I’m at my happiest when…I’m in flow whether that’s writing, coaching, sewing, being with my children. I’m also happy when being inspired by exciting projects …just like the one you and I are planning!

Saturday nights are for….curling up on the sofa with a good film or listening to some cool music and a glass of wine after a day out wandering around off the beaten track bits of London with my man.

 

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
dating app profile
👑Originality is King 👑 The more original your dating profile and pics, the more success you’ll have on the apps. Research backs this up. But how do you create dating photos that capture your unique, special voice and vibe? Start with this simple, but powerful, question: How do I stand out from other people? Write it all down - passions, interests, inspirations, values, vibe. All of it. And use that as your framework to create your profile pics. Think about how you can visually capture your story in your photos using props, clothes, body language, locations, vibe and attitude. It’s challenging to do this, but have fun with it. It’ll show in your pics. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Is it time for an originality check on your dating app profile? Recent research has backed up what dating experts having been saying for years, people respond particularly well to the use of originality in dating profiles. Higher originality in your dating profile is associated with the following: + increased belief in physical attraction + greater intelligence + higher romantic intention (ie how likely would you be to date this person?) + higher humour perception + lower perceptions of oddness/peculiarity Brilliant news then! They found nothing negative associated with adopting originality in your profile. Therefore we can all benefit from an originality check 🙌🏽 Check out my recent blog post with some ideas on how to review your own profile through the lens of originality. It’s kind of obvious when you think about it - that the more you reveal some real truths about yourself the easier it will be to connect with your kind of people - but it’s still something people haven’t mastered, tending to rely on well worn cliches and lots of generalisations in order to fit in. I’ll say that again - the more you reveal about your authentic self, the easier it’ll be to connect with your vibe of people 🙌🏽 Dating apps are not the place to fit it. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop whoop, it’s Megan in the house, shooting in the cool neighbourhood of The Custard Factory in Birmingham. J’adoring these shots, full of personality and good times. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #datingapps #datingtips #explorepage #profilephoto #profilepic #datingadvice #singlelifestyle #explorereels #singlemomlife #datingcoach #datingadvice #datingphoto #datingphotography #datingphotographerlondon #onlinedatingphotographer #newprofilepic #selflove #profilepictures #soulmate #birminghamphotographer #portaitphotography #personalbranding #personaldatingbrand #goodtimes #datingmindset #mindsetmatters
I hope I never have to hear the words ‘fatfishing’ ever again … yuck … but while we’re here, this is a useful and timely reminder to check that the set of photos you have on your dating app profile are up-to-date and pretty much representative of who you are today. Research has shown that if you use photos that misrepresent you in any way, your date will feel deceived. Eek. And since going on dates is a key way to find out how trustworthy someone is, you’ll have blown it before they’ve even sat down and got a drink in their hand. I’m not just talking about weight here, of course. We’re all changing all the time, inside and out and the more your profile pics can capture the latest iteration of you, the better it’ll be. As the woman says in the article, it isn’t so much their size that’s the issue, she’s into dad bods apparently, it’s to do with the deceit. You don’t want to build something with someone who’s ok to start a romantic connection based on that. What do you think? Have you experienced any form of this? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating photo tip Hold something 💛 When we’re in front of a camera lens, many of us feel self-conscious and often our first thought is ‘But what should I do with my hands?’ Holding something in your hand is a great way to relax your body and focus on looking and feeling good instead. Even better, is when you hold something you love 💛💛 When you hold something you love like a plant, your camera, your dog or guitar you feel instantly good, as your focus shifts from the shoot to something that brings you joy. It has the added benefit of telling people more about who you are, your personality interests and passions🍦 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hey Saturday - because you’re worth it. So much love for these gorgeous shots taken by Livia in one of our newest locations - Salford Quays. We’re loving this Manchester location as it tends to be pretty quiet, it’s by the water and there’s still lots of colour to add vibrancy and depth to the images. J’adore! Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Great profile pics attract attention. Authentic ones keep it 🔥 The biggest reason people don’t get second dates, according to Match, is because they look nothing like their profile pics. And yeah, no you aren’t going to be able to win them over on the date with your sparkling personality sadly … because, before they’ve even sat down, they feel deceived by you. And that ain’t a good look on a date. People want relationships with trustworthy people. Don’t blow it. Keep it real. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
There’s actual magic in relaxing and goofing off with your Hey Saturday photographer ✨ When people look at the photos captured by the photographer during these moments, they feel your joy, warmth and approachability. And they’ll more often than not want to connect. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
AI generated dating photos? What do you think? I mean what the f-ck? Don’t get me wrong, I’m fascinated by what’s occurring in the AI creativity space at the moment. AI generated paintings, photographs, songwriting etc. I’m fascinated yeah and kind of a little horrified at the same time, I think. So yeah, for $19 you can head to Photo AI, upload some photos of yourself and they’ll generate a set of dating profile pics. Hurrah, sounds like a bargain. Buuuut … when it comes to dating, well that’s something else entirely. Dating is deeply rooted in the human experience, right. So, IMO, I believe you need that connection between photographer and dater, that beautifully unique human-to-human contact… if you want to create gorgeously authentic profile pics. The word that comes to mind for me when looking at the profile pics in this article is creepy. Creepy AF. But that’s just me. I know I’m likely to biased but…it’ll always be a ‘hell no’ from me. What do you think? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Ooh yes, love it when our clients show up willing to share their personal brand magic in front of the lens. They understand what makes them unique, they feel good about themselves and they’re up for experimenting and giving things a go in front of the camera. What a combo ✨ Big kudos to Alison for creating this awesome set on the streets of Williamsburg, absolute genius. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday: the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Wanna transform your dating life in 30 days? Um… yeah that reel went so much better in my head 😂 Can you tell I’ve had a month off from the ‘gram!? Jeez. Anyways ~ I’ve just shared a blogpost ‘30 Day Challenge Ideas that will Transform your Dating Life’. 30 day challenges can be life-changing …. but really adopting a dating challenge is about allowing yourself to become more playful and experimental with your dating life. The goal here isn’t to find your soulmate. It’s about + throwing yourself into the middle of life + chucking out your rule book + rewriting your dating story + discarding those awful checklists + taking risks + getting ghosted + challenging your expectations + accepting the sting of rejection + showing up as your wonderfully weird self + feeling cherished + getting butterflies Yeah there was no way my menopausal brain was going to remember all that for the reel, so no wonder I went off topic. But I digress… So yes, basically they help you throw yourself into the glorious, messy joy that is life. When it’s couched as a challenge though, you’ll find it’a much easier to accept whatever life throws at you, because it’s ‘just an experiment’. If you’re intrigued, there’s a link to the blog in our link-tree, go check it out and let us know how you get on 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. Any photos seen are taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepaģes
2022 - you’ve been a trip I’ve said goodbye to both my beloved in-laws ❤️ And a different kind of goodbye to my therapist, after 5 years of working together…although the inner and outer transformation will go on, Richard, I promise. But, alongside the awesomeness of Hey Saturday, it’s also been a wild ride through lots of new and old favourite places from Paris to Los Angeles and it’s provided so many moments of mischievous joy with friends and family, but most of all with my favourite person on the planet who, as of a week ago, I’m lucky enough to call my hubby ❤️ 2023? Heck yeah, I’ll dance to that. #therapyiscool #growthmindset #adventuretime #traveltime #wanderlust #goodtimes #intentionalliving #explorereels #explore #adventures #mindsetmatters #intentionallife #travellife #therapyworks #traveltherapy #lifegoals #lifeisgood #everythingislove #everythingisenergy #everythingiscool #innerwork #innerwisdom #innertransformation #transformative #habloespañol #losangeleslife #parisianstyle
✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
You get a couple of seconds to make an impression, so make those seconds count. Our fave dating photos are ones that are compelling, colourful, creative, story-telling, authentic, vibrant and, of course, ones that make you smile. Great set from Alison in downtown Manhattan, NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, NYC #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop! Reliving happy moments from last month when I was visiting LA and was hanging out in Abbot Kinney, the Arts District Downtown and Silver Lake, all fab Hey Saturday locations. These gorgeous shots, captured by Vanessa, were taken in the Arts District and I’m loving the energy, colour and good vibes. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
The Two Key Ingredients for a Great Dating Profile 📣 new blog post alert 📣 A new study has just dropped that encourages dating app users to embrace originality when creating their dating profile text. Just as I encourage our clients to visually show how they stand out from others in their profile pictures, this study has backed up what dating experts, like James Preece, have been saying all along too… Lose the generic, cliché-ridden text and share something meaningful instead - like what makes you special/different from everyone else. The researchers attempted to understand what precisely makes for compelling profile text. They found that highly original text tended to contain one or more of the following 5 elements: • Metaphorical expressions (e.g. “I’m a rock-star at cooking curries” vs “I’m a good cook”) • Vivid descriptions & imagery ….. .. Head to the blog to read more - link in bio. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
Love this tried and tested hack for our clients who aren’t feeling ‘enough’ the day of their dating photoshoot. The moment they take hold of something that brings them joy - their camera, their yoga mat, their boxing gloves, their paintbrush or whatever it may be - they immediately relax, smile and feel at ease with themselves. I love this moment so much and it creates such great profile pics ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
These dating photos are so my jam. I’m adoring the bold colour and variety of backgrounds. Shouts out to Suze, who shot these on the streets of Clifton Village in Bristol. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
If your dating app pics make people smile, they’re going to feel happy while looking at your profile. That means they are waaaaay more likely to want to reach out and connect with you. And that’s the kind of response we love ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes