How to keep an online conversation going

How to keep an online conversation going

Today, I’m delighted to say that our blog has been hijacked by the very cool dating expert, Claudia Cox. She is the author of ‘French Seduction Made Easy‘ and is passionate about sharing her expertise on communicating well in relationships especially via flirty texting. She runs the website textweapon.com where she makes the art of seduction look easy peasy. If you haven’t already, head over there and check it out. Over to Claudia for some savvy advice on how to keep that online chat going in the right direction.

 

Keeping an online conversation going

 

So you’ve passed the awkward “first contact” stage of online dating. You sent the first message, they replied – congratulations, everyone is onboard and ready to roll!

 

So, what now?

It can be hard to keep a conversation going with someone you don’t know YET, and who isn’t sitting across the table from you. You want to come off as fun, interesting and flirty, while also being considered serious, smart and trustworthy, right?

 

Aie, aie, aie… That’s quite a big task to accomplish using just a few messages to and fro! And you know what makes it even harder? Is that you don’t know what makes them tick yet – or even if it’s worth finding out…

 

If you find yourself stuck one message in, and you want some advice on how to spark up an interesting conversation that will tell you whether this person is worth getting offline for, read on.

 

1. Ask questions

Pretty much everyone loves talking about “numero uno” – so give your partner an opportunity to start gabbing away! Asking light, simple questions is a sure fire way to keep a conversation going online. The more they answer, the more fuel you’ve got for the conversation. Even better, you’ve just won some major points by flattering their ego (even if it’s just a little).

 

It’s also a good indicator for knowing if you have found a worthwhile match or not. “How so” you say? Well, if after asking them a mountain of questions, they still haven’t asked you the basics, you can be pretty darn sure they are self absorbed, and not the least bit interested in finding out what you’re all about. Time to move on, nothing to see here folks!

 

Keep it fun, it’s not a job interview – make your question a little quirky and different. This way you stand out from the rest of the “fishies” and get a better reaction – and please, don’t ask something they’ve already answered on their profile.

 

2. Get your flirt on

Flirting is fun, but when you’re doing it online you need to be slower about it than normal. Because your partner can’t see you, or the signals you’re sending, flirting too early in an online exchange can be a huge turn-off. Don’t immediately start talking about adult toys or send her a “selfie” at the gym all pumped up post workout. Make sure that you add just a lick of sass to your pre-meet up messages.

 

Going back to the good old questions, instead of asking him or her something dull such as “what did you eat for lunch?” give your questions a hint of spice. Ask “Why are you a cat person when everyone knows that dog people make better lovers?” Or poke fun at their answers in a flirty way (“Oh, you’re a Star Wars fan? Bet you’ve got Darth Vader pillowcases J”).

 

Make sure you don’t go overboard. Nothing kills a conversation early on like pushing boundaries waaaay too far (like being outright mean or vulgar).

 

3. Be honest

When you’re messaging almost anonymously, it can be easy to exaggerate or outright lie to make yourself look better. Don’t do it! One, because it will get awkward if you ever do meet up, and two, it’s human (and often endearing) to have flaws – embrace them, and your partner will too.

 

If you’re not proud of your height, say, “I’m short, but what I lack in height, I make up for in over-confidence.”

 

Make your flaws into a joke that you can both laugh about – they’ll be more likely to share theirs, so you don’t get any special surprises when you end up meeting.

 

4. Know when to take it off (line)

Even if you’re enjoying the online messages, don’t push your luck. Know when to take your virtual relationship offline before it fizzles out. After all, dating is about meeting up face-to-face, hearing their voice, drinking in their smell and feeling their touch.

 

In my experience, it’s best to meet up earlier rather than later – like before you know everything about each other, and you still both have an air of mystery about you. After all, you want your first date to feel like a first date, not a 10th wedding anniversary, right?

 

Online conversation debrief:

Before jumping straight into it with the great advice you’ve just received, commit to memory the following “do’s and don’ts” of online conversation:

 

For the ladies:

Don’t be negative. Opening up with “I’m so sick of online dating…” makes you seem unenthusiastic… and also like you’ve been doing this for way too long.

 

Do be complimentary about his photo. Don’t make any jokes about it being photo shopped, the male ego is an extremely sensitive thing!

 

For the Gents:

Don’t go there. Seriously, men are the worst offenders here – don’t talk about the size of ANYTHING until you at least know what her favorite drink is (and have bought her a few)!

 

Do keep it light and fun. Don’t write long essays about yourself, which seem extremely interesting to you, but might not be all that easy to reply to. Stick with light, flirty topics that keep engagement levels high.

 

Well, there you go! 4 tips for keeping the online conversation going like a champ until you meet up in the flesh. Happy online dating!

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dating app profile

I was invited on @unhingedandbumbledup podcast the other day & it was probably the most fun I’ve had recording a podcast.

Ahead of the show, I had to give them both a dating photo challenge and they presented the photos they created to me during the show.

Tune into to see who does it better, Phil or Jane. It was a super close competition to be honest… but there was a clear winner 👏🏽👏🏽

I also shared

• What makes an awesome dating profile pic
• Why good photos are so important
• My 4 top favourite date spots around the globe (I just couldn’t choose one) and much more…

Have you subscribed to this chatty, fun show that shares experiences and opinions on how to navigate the tricky world of dating to come out on top?

Thanks for having me Phil & Jane 🙏🏽

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…how would you show up?

I get a lot of emails from clients asking how and where they can do their photoshoots without many people seeing them. Ummm ….

To be fair, it’d probably be my first question too, if I were in their shoes. I’m not exactly known for being a natural badass in front of the lens (there’s a reason I prefer being behind it!).

But, thing is, those people really don’t care about what’s happening in your photoshoot. And why would you concern yourself worrying about what people - you don’t even know - think about you for 30 seconds?

Fear makes no sense, even after you unpick it and challenge it. It’s still there. Being fearless is actually really hard… however you could try this… choose to ‘act as if’ you’re fearless! Yeah, how would that look? How would you show up then? Really think about how you would approach it. And then, just as an experiment, do that.

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+ The Ex-Philes Podcast +

I had the pleasure of being invited onto an episode of the dating podcast, ’The Ex-Philes: Break-ups, Broken Hearts and Moving On’ recently & was interviewed by the two awesome hosts, Clair Lofthouse & Janice Formichella.

Thank you so much to both of you, I really enjoyed connecting & sharing my top dating profile picture expertise with you.

If you are getting over a breakup? I would highly recommend tuning in & subscribing.

Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast all about healing a broken heart, building your confidence, and moving forward in an empowered way.

Their favorite topics include healing from heartbreak, dating, ghosting, no contact, toxic relationships, communication, self-help, attachment styles and more.

Thanks Janice & Clair 🙏🏽

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Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world.

Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥

And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance.

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+ Sound on for dating photo tips & good times +

Huge shout out to the legend that is James Preece, the UK dating coach king. Thank you for having me on your show, @jamespreececoach. I had a great time sharing my top dating photo tips with you, which I’m pretty sure you can tell when you listen in.

Have you subscribed to the Love Machine Podcast yet?

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You know what I love doing when I have a few moments to myself? … I love navigating to our Story highlights & scrolling through ‘Our Pics’. It gives me a legal, natural high every time.

The colour, the personalities, the vibes, the diverse life styles, the passions, the people… so much dating photoshoot awesomeness in one hit 🙌🏽✨🤩

onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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We need to talk about ‘talking point’ pics. Talking point pics are the ones that make people stop and do a double take, go back for another look and, yeah, slide into your messages because they need to know more.

Maybe you’re practicing tai chi, playing a ukulele, creating a stunning art piece on your iPad, doing a headstand yoga pose in the street or wrapping your hands ready for boxing (all shots we’ve taken, that have made me go back for another look 👀 check our Stories today!). Shots like these are so compelling.

Look, 5-6 photos at any one time on your dating app profile is optimum. Too few, people think you’re hiding something, too many & it’s game over as you give them too much to find fault with.

So you’ve got just 5-6 opportunities to
+ make an emotional impact
+ visually tell your story
+ and… also, importantly, intrigue people enough to reach out and ask you something or connect with you about something they see 👀

// Each one of your dating profile photos needs to bring something to the party //

So take a moment to check out your profile pics now. Which one is your ‘talking point’ pic? Answers on a postcard or in the comments, I really want to know…

And a big shout out goes out to the client I’ve been chatting with this week who’s booked Dumbo. You know who you are. You have so many exciting ideas for your shoot, I think you’re going to have a few ‘talking point’ pics to choose from 🙌🏽 And I’m so glad our Insta feed has helped you prep for your shoot. That makes me very happy.

*Tai chi photo: Kate for Hey Saturday, London

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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New here? Come in, look around, stay awhile. We're creating our own brand of dating photo magic, right here. J'adoring these shots taken in Shoreditch by our London photographer, Nicole.

Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London

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The only mantra you’ll ever need before your dating photoshoot
+ Be bold, kill boring, do ‘you’, stand out +

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The more self-work you do now, the more amazing your next relationship will be.

It’ll be so worth it 🔥

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Do your dating profile pics look the same as everyone else’s? You’re pretty sure you’ve read the right blog posts and followed all the steps but actually your photos still aren’t making people walk straight into lamp posts or miss their stop on the last bus home.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes at the end of a long day, I just crave seeing something that makes me smile, makes me feel good, you know… that ‘happy to be alive’ kind of good.

Picture it… you’ve just been on a rubbish date and are feeling disillusioned on the bus home so you decide to jump back on the app to line up another one before you lose the will.

Now imagine, at this point, you spot a profile pic that fills you with joy. There’s just something about it that makes you smile or makes you feel excited or just glad to be alive again.

Now that… that’s the exact profile, you’re immediately going to swipe right on… damn!

Nothing else matters in that moment. You want more of whoever can make you feel that good in that moment.

But how can you create dating pictures like this? The best way to create photos like that is to actually ‘feel this way’ when you’re making the picture. Bring this energy and vibe to the photoshoot. Bring props that will make you feel happy or relive happy moments during the shoot. Do things, hold things, wear things, go places that make you feel that kind of happy… and it will translate into your profile pictures.

It’s so important to figure out what you’re into and what makes you feel good before your photoshoot and before dating so that you show up and attract more of this energy into your life.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Great online dating photographers are focused on human experience, rather than the size of our lenses.

Yeah… I’d go as far to say, we view our photoshoots as an emotional journey with a physical output more than anything else.

We want to help you let people in and get a better sense of who you are… the real you, of course, (in reply to a comment I got yesterday), if your photos are going to be meaningful, in any way.

When you can bring your whole self to the shoot, it’s kind of magic, really. When you can craft images that tell stories about who you are, it’s powerful and empowering, because when stories are told, meaning is made.

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How you show up for your profile pictures matters. The energy you show up with for your photoshoot, is the same energy that online daters can see and feel when they look at your profile pictures.

And yes, you can absolutely see and feel energy in pictures. You can see if someone is happy, dejected or confident, for example.

Confidence is energy. It’s not a ‘trait’ that you either are or aren’t, it’s a state. Like happiness, sadness & joy, it’s an energy you can tap into.

To create the most attractive and magnetic profile pictures, tap into the energy you want to see in your photos.

But how?

Get excited about how these profile pictures are going to open up doors, connect you to all kinds of interesting people, potentially lead to something so good, it’s life-changing.

Harness these positive kind of thoughts and embody them through your breathing, through smiling and laughing, through your body language. You know how smiling makes you feel happy and standing in a power pose makes you feel more confident? Yes 🙌🏽 that.

Your body language in your pictures communicates a lot about your energy and vibe.

Include things you really love in your photoshoot. You might wear something you love, go somewhere you love, hold something you love or, even better, get in flow and do something you love.

Including things that spark joy will impact your body language and your whole vibe.

#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
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Hey go-getters, thrill-seekers, online daters... have you checked out the podcast Dates & Mates yet? If you’re single and craving connection in a digitally-driven world, then head to Apple podcasts and hit subscribe.

This show is seriously guaranteed to give you more fun than your ex. And boy, what a show. The host Damona Hoffman, already one of the coolest humans on the planet, is now also the Official Love Expert of the Drew Barrymore Show ✨ as well an advice columnist for The Washington Post & much more.

I’ll admit I was a bit of a hot mess as a guest on her show but it was ace to be included on her latest episode. I share how to do online dating photos right and magnetise the best matches to you.

And don’t forget to hit subscribe, there are soooo many good episodes you’re going to wanna work your way through.

#podcast #datesandmates
#onlinedatingphotographer #singlelady #singlewomen #singlemen #singleandreadytomingle #singleandsearching #singlelifestyle #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself
#datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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You are as hot as you think you are.

I love this.

When I was told this, back when I was online dating, I have to say it was a bit of a game changer. Your first instinct is to think, ‘Wait, what?’.

But then I thought back to people I’d met in my (very) long and varied dating life... and how my first impressions of their attractiveness could wildly change as soon as I started engaging with them.

That’s because I was seeing them as they see themselves.

Self-love levels the playing field. You don’t have to be the hottest person in the room to be the hottest person in the room... you just have to THINK you are.

Wow, I love that. It means being attractive, magnetic, desired is within all of us. We just gotta dig deep and love ourselves. No way round it.

Your vibe reflects the way you see yourself and cues others to respond accordingly.

I’m just getting into the Law of Attraction and figuring out how to raise my vibrations, which builds on this. And it’s so relevant to dating, I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna be sharing my learnings on here soon.

Anyone got any recommendations of people I can follow who are talking about vibrating higher? Please share 🙏🏽

I’m ready to vibe higher. Are you?

#selflove #onlinedating #datingapps #datenight #datingphotos #loveyourself #foreverguy #relationshipgoals #datingphotographer #portraits #goodtimes #tbt #lawofattraction #wellbeing #purpose #entrepreneur #startup #personalbrand #womeninbusiness #boss #selflovefightclub #creative #creativepreneur #mindset #attractive #gorgeous #vibratehigher #authenticdating #experimentaldating
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