Heck Yes Online Dating Sucks But Here’s What You Can Do About It

Heck Yes Online Dating Sucks But Here’s What You Can Do About It

Heck Yes Online Dating Sucks But Here’s What You Can Do About It

 

I’m a huge advocate of online dating. I mean I met my boyfriend of six years on Guardian Soulmates and I’ve since forged a unique business helping people find love online. In fact, I truly believe everyone can find love online. But… let’s not pretend here, online dating sucks. However, just because it sucks doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying or that it’s not going to work for you. Here are the five main reasons online dating sucks and what you can do about it to kick-start your love life.

You’re exposed to toxic people & situations

One of the main things that sucks about online dating is that by opening yourself up to new and different types of people, you are also putting yourself at risk of meeting people who are toxic and just generally bad for the soul. Perhaps they are people who are only dating to feed their ego or perhaps they are already in a steady relationship or maybe they are emotionally immature etc. Sadly this is hard to avoid if you put are putting yourself out there like you need to, so you need to have a plan to minimise the pain in dealing with these types of people. With everyone you contact and meet, pay close attention to how they treat you. Every interaction they have with you either on email, on the phone or in person will give you clues as to who they really are. Take those clues at face value. If they keep blowing you off at the last minute on text or they disappear for weeks on end, or they are too clingy and controlling or just generally displaying behaviour that you’re not keen on, then don’t make excuses for them. Make it a priority to set some dating boundaries and dealbreakers to protect yourself.

You give your power away

If you’re a bit of a people pleaser or you’re a naturally passive person or maybe you’re lacking in the conviction that you’re a kick-ass cool person who is worthy of love and acceptance, then dating can be super tough. If you give your power away to the other person, when online dating, then chances are you’re going to have a miserable experience. You’ll let someone else take charge of your dating life and as we’ve seen above, who knows who you might meet. Online dating is a lot easier if you have 100% faith in yourself, know your own worth and take control of what you want to do. Otherwise you could end up getting hurt and manipulated. You need to be you, but choose to be the best version of you.
If you’re a people pleaser or naturally passive, then take the time to remember it’s fine to please people you know and love, but pleasing people you’ve only just met isn’t necessary. Or if your confidence is really low after taking a battering from a previous relationship, then it might be worth booking a session with a dating coach.

dating photos

You’re expecting it to suck

We all know deep down that if you expect something to turn out a certain way, then it’s probably going to turn out that way. Well hey that’s true for online dating too. If you’re going out on dates, with the news ticker ‘online dating sucks’ running through your head, then you can bet your bottom dollar your dating experiences are going to suck. The best way to end this is to change your mindset. Change your news ticker (you know, that unhelpful, negative inner voice) so that it’s saying something more positive and supportive. Try something like ‘lots of people find love online and enjoy the journey’ and then find some examples to back that up. Write a list of all the good things that come from online dating and take the time to remind yourself of them when you start feeling low about online dating.
Here are some things I loved about online dating:
• Meeting new people
• Discovering new bars/restaurants in town
• Getting out your comfort zone (that’s where life gets exciting)
• Trying new things
• Getting a snog
• Making some real friends
• Making a great business connection

You’re not being authentic

If you’re pretending to be something you’re not, to appeal to people who might otherwise not date you, this is pretty much going to end badly. It might be tempting to do this, but what’s the point of falling in love when you’re not being real. The love won’t be real either and will fall apart when the truth comes out.

You’re taking it too seriously

When I was online dating, I realised that the only time I was enjoying it was when I wasn’t taking it too seriously. You just need to relax and enjoy the ride and if you aren’t feeling it right now, take a well-earned break from it and come back when you’re feeling refreshed. If you get all serious about it, you scare people off, you’re no fun and you’ll be miserable. Dating should be fun! Dating should be the most fun you’ve had in a long time. And if it’s not, take a break or move on to the next one.

If you need a helping hand with your dating confidence, writing an awesome dating profile, or getting some jaw-droppingly good dating profile photos, then head to Irresistible Dating right here. Or if you just want to sign up for a free ebook full of dating goodness, head here.

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Online Dating Photographers
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So yes… making eye contacting in most of your dating app profile pics is hugely important, but … including one or two candid-style shots can increase likes by 15%, according to Hinge recently. We love a candid shot…they’re natural, relaxed and capture you just living & loving your life - adding lots of value to your dating profile ✨ All photos taken by UK & US Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hello lovers! Our favourite vibe for a dating photoshoot is to show up with a willingness to experiment, express yourself and enjoy yourself ✨ Love the colour, the vibes and the personality captured here by our Queen of the North, Livia. Brava Livia, fab set. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Self-acceptance makes dating photoshoots and going on dates way more fun. Self-acceptance is my answer to pretty much everything. Don’t put your dating life on hold until you’ve reached your ideal weight, got your dream job, own that outfit you love… you are enough right now ✨ All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating app photos are the ones that show people looking happy, inspired and excited with life. Vanessa over in LA has captured a beautiful, vibrant and fun set in Abbot Kinney - just fab. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
How to Dating Photo… in This Heat 🔥🔥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving these gorgeous shots captured on the colourful streets of the Northern Quarter in Manchester by our Queen of the north, Livia. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
When your skin is glowing, you’re feeling fly and you’re ready to take on the (dating) world, that’s the moment to go create some dating profile pics 🔥🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots ever. 💥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday online dating photographers 💥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
In today's episode of the happiest dating photoshoots on earth, we head over to the gorgeous neighbourhood of Notting Hill with Nicole as our guide, as she captures moments of joy, fun and good times. You can imagine how much I'm loving these. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
This is a reminder to schedule joy into your daily life, your dating life and your photoshoot 💫 You have been watching Hey Saturday; the happiest dating photoshoots on earth. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers, Alyssa is back in town shooting for Hey Saturday, NYC, yay. Absolutely love love loving these shots of this client captured in the Lower East Side and SoHo. Together they've created some head-turning, dating photo goodness. Photo credit: Alyssa for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
How can I take my dating app profile pics to the next level? Don’t just show them what you look like; tell them what you’re made of 🔥🔥 Ps My titles synced perfectly when I posted it. Thanks Insta Reels for messing them up 🙃 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on earth. All photos taken by awesome Hey Saturday online dating photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The secret to having a good dating photoshoot is actually having a good time on your photoshoot (and Hey Saturday photographers know how to have a good time 🙌🏽). J'adoring this set created by Suze recently in Bristol. This client looks happy, confident and like she loves her life. The perfect vibe for dating profile pics. Kudos Suze. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Life is short and love is too important ❤️ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We love dating profile pics that inspire joy! And these photos from one of Nicole's recent Shoreditch shoots are giving me all the joyful feels right now - LOVING this set. Do your dating pics surprise and delight? Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Gaining people’s trust when you’re dating is super important if you want to keep dating them. So if you show up on a first date looking really different than you portray in your profile pics, people will feel deceived… and it won’t matter how fun or lovely you are, any trust will go. The more you look like your dating app profile pics, the more honest you’ll seem and the easier it will be to attract second dates 🙌🏽🙌🏽 Great photos attract attention… But authentic ones keep it. All photos Hey Saturday photographers. You’ve been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Plant dad! Wine and craft beer aficionado! Loving everything that's going on here. Shouts out to Vanessa for capturing this lil' bit of dating profile photo magic in the Arts District, Downtown LA Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Could your worst dating app pic be losing you matches? When we look at a dating profile, we (often subconsciously) tend to look for the best pic and then do a scan to find the ‘worst’ pic. We then make a decision about whether to connect with someone or not, often based off that ‘worst’ pic. Make sure you’re 100% happy with every single shot you include 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Where focus goes, energy flows. Be the star of every single one of your dating profile pics for maximum impact. Loving these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo, yet another gorgeous, stand out set. You bring the energy and authentic vibes, we'll bring the photo talent and good times. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
These are the kinda stats I love 🙌🏽 Pics which showcase a full shot of your gorgeous face are where it’s at. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots… #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Shouts out to the lovely Megan who took a wee break but is back now and shooting regularly once again at the Custard Factory in Birmingham. Loving these bold, colourful shots, Megan, total flex. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos