Heck Yes Online Dating Sucks But Here’s What You Can Do About It

Heck Yes Online Dating Sucks But Here’s What You Can Do About It

Heck Yes Online Dating Sucks But Here’s What You Can Do About It

 

I’m a huge advocate of online dating. I mean I met my boyfriend of six years on Guardian Soulmates and I’ve since forged a unique business helping people find love online. In fact, I truly believe everyone can find love online. But… let’s not pretend here, online dating sucks. However, just because it sucks doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying or that it’s not going to work for you. Here are the five main reasons online dating sucks and what you can do about it to kick-start your love life.

You’re exposed to toxic people & situations

One of the main things that sucks about online dating is that by opening yourself up to new and different types of people, you are also putting yourself at risk of meeting people who are toxic and just generally bad for the soul. Perhaps they are people who are only dating to feed their ego or perhaps they are already in a steady relationship or maybe they are emotionally immature etc. Sadly this is hard to avoid if you put are putting yourself out there like you need to, so you need to have a plan to minimise the pain in dealing with these types of people. With everyone you contact and meet, pay close attention to how they treat you. Every interaction they have with you either on email, on the phone or in person will give you clues as to who they really are. Take those clues at face value. If they keep blowing you off at the last minute on text or they disappear for weeks on end, or they are too clingy and controlling or just generally displaying behaviour that you’re not keen on, then don’t make excuses for them. Make it a priority to set some dating boundaries and dealbreakers to protect yourself.

You give your power away

If you’re a bit of a people pleaser or you’re a naturally passive person or maybe you’re lacking in the conviction that you’re a kick-ass cool person who is worthy of love and acceptance, then dating can be super tough. If you give your power away to the other person, when online dating, then chances are you’re going to have a miserable experience. You’ll let someone else take charge of your dating life and as we’ve seen above, who knows who you might meet. Online dating is a lot easier if you have 100% faith in yourself, know your own worth and take control of what you want to do. Otherwise you could end up getting hurt and manipulated. You need to be you, but choose to be the best version of you.
If you’re a people pleaser or naturally passive, then take the time to remember it’s fine to please people you know and love, but pleasing people you’ve only just met isn’t necessary. Or if your confidence is really low after taking a battering from a previous relationship, then it might be worth booking a session with a dating coach.

dating photos

You’re expecting it to suck

We all know deep down that if you expect something to turn out a certain way, then it’s probably going to turn out that way. Well hey that’s true for online dating too. If you’re going out on dates, with the news ticker ‘online dating sucks’ running through your head, then you can bet your bottom dollar your dating experiences are going to suck. The best way to end this is to change your mindset. Change your news ticker (you know, that unhelpful, negative inner voice) so that it’s saying something more positive and supportive. Try something like ‘lots of people find love online and enjoy the journey’ and then find some examples to back that up. Write a list of all the good things that come from online dating and take the time to remind yourself of them when you start feeling low about online dating.
Here are some things I loved about online dating:
• Meeting new people
• Discovering new bars/restaurants in town
• Getting out your comfort zone (that’s where life gets exciting)
• Trying new things
• Getting a snog
• Making some real friends
• Making a great business connection

You’re not being authentic

If you’re pretending to be something you’re not, to appeal to people who might otherwise not date you, this is pretty much going to end badly. It might be tempting to do this, but what’s the point of falling in love when you’re not being real. The love won’t be real either and will fall apart when the truth comes out.

You’re taking it too seriously

When I was online dating, I realised that the only time I was enjoying it was when I wasn’t taking it too seriously. You just need to relax and enjoy the ride and if you aren’t feeling it right now, take a well-earned break from it and come back when you’re feeling refreshed. If you get all serious about it, you scare people off, you’re no fun and you’ll be miserable. Dating should be fun! Dating should be the most fun you’ve had in a long time. And if it’s not, take a break or move on to the next one.

If you need a helping hand with your dating confidence, writing an awesome dating profile, or getting some jaw-droppingly good dating profile photos, then head to Irresistible Dating right here. Or if you just want to sign up for a free ebook full of dating goodness, head here.

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I think I know which photo is gonna be her ‘talking point’ pic 😆 Our favourite dating profile pics are those that make people feel happy, curious, interested and energised when they see them. This set, taken by Vanessa in Los Angeles, makes me feel all those things and more! Loving them, Vanessa. I love how the client turned up with the energy she wanted to showcase in her photos, dang🔥🔥 Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapp #datingtips #datingprofile #datingprofilepic #datingphoto #onlinedating #datingphotos #datingpics #onlinedatingtips #datingadvice #single #happysinglelife #brandidentity #personalbranding #personalbrandingtips #visualstorytelling #modernlove #modernromance #datingapps #datingmindset #goodtimeswithgoodpeople #goodtimes
Come for the cool dating profile pics, stay for the ...um cool dating profile pics. Today's big shout out goes to Kimi who shoots south London Loving the vibe of this shoot shot in Peckham. Photo credit: Kimi for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I'm in a New York state of a mind today and thought I'd share the vibe. I'm loving these shots taken by Alison in and around SoHo. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Earlier this year we launched a new Manchester location and I can’t believe I haven’t shared any pics yet. My bad… So this post is celebrating the joy, colour and spirit of our Salford Quays Hey Saturday photoshoots, thanks to Livia & her photoshoot magic ✨. Shouts out Livia, loving these. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving the adventure Vanessa and this client had in Abbot Kinney, LA. These photos are sweet as... Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We see a crazy, bright dating future for this client. Huge shouts out to Alison, who shoots in and around Soho every week, creating dating photo awesomeness like this. Loving these. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers 🎉 …. these shots are a whole nuther level of gorgeousness. Huge shouts out to Nicole for these gems, J’adore them so much. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The real flex is creating dating profile pictures that stand out and help you do you. J'adoring these bold, colourful shots from Livia in the Northern Quarter. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #manchesterdating #manchester #manchesterstyle
We’re not just all about the city streets, we do park shoots too 🌿 and… well these profile pics are just a breath of fresh air. We're heading to the parks of Clifton Village in Bristol for these gorgeous shots, taken by our Bristolian super star, Suze. If you want some park photos, autumn is a beautiful time of year to do this… 🍁 Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Holy dating photos, I love these. Nicole does her thang at King's Cross with these cool shots. Sweeeeeet work, Nicole. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #storytelling #visionboarding #datingapp #datingadvice #authentic #authenticity #tinder #newprofilepic #profilepictures #datingphotography #datingphotos #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotographer #brandingphotography #personalbranding #onlinedating #goodtimes #goodvibes #confidence #menstyle #brandidentity #romance #modernlove #joy #happylife
In today's episode of the happiest photoshoots on earth, we hotfoot it over to Bristol for these absolutely cool and stunning shots from our one & only Suze. Absolutely j'adoring these shots, Suze. Kudos to you and this fab client who created actual literal magic together. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Some people just look like they know how to have a good time. Loving these ace dating profile pictures from Kate, who captures personality like a queen. Photo credit: Kate for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
So yeah, I did a thing… Hey Saturday now has a podcast mini series, ‘Shoot Your Shot - The Art of Dating Profile Pictures’, for all your dating profile photo needs in one place 🎧✨ Press play on this show for jam-packed mini episodes that will inspire you to experiment, have fun and aim higher when creating your profile pictures for online dating apps. I share my top mindset shifts and practical steps you can take to create dating profile photos that are both visually and emotionally compelling, to help you attract more and better quality matches on dating apps. This podcast is for people with a short attention-span but a big vision for their love lives 🙌🏽 Link in bio 👀 Hosted by me, Saskia Podcast logo and art by the incredible @teadayblogs from Coppie and Paste Produced by that cutie @northernmunki Podcast music by me @saskia_nelson in conjunction with GrooveApp (who did most of the heavy lifting to be fair) #datingpodcast #datingpodcasts #newpodcast #newpodcastalert #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happysingle #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Well these are just a whole vibe. Shouts out to Livia who transforms the streets of Manchester into the perfect Hey Saturday playground & huge kudos to the client who brought his A-game, dang 🙌🏽🏀 Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Break time is over.. everyone back on the bus. Summer is speeding to an end but I still have our gorgeous summer shoots to remind me of warmer days. Loving the vibe of these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo - one of my favourite NYC locations. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I love all our Hey Saturday locations, but I ain't gonna lie, I have a HUGE soft spot for our Abbot Kinney/Venice shoots. They always inspire joy, love and good times every time I see them - perfect for dating profile pictures. Big ups to Vanessa for these crazy-good shots. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapps #onlinedating #datingprofilepic #datingtips #datinglife #singlelife #datingphotographer #onlinedatingphotographersla #onlinedatingphotographer #visualstorytelling #personalbranding #brandingphotography #modernlove #tinderpic #newprofilepic #goodtimes #creative #datingadvice #datingafterdivorce #happylife #joy
I was invited on @unhingedandbumbledup podcast the other day & it was probably the most fun I’ve had recording a podcast. Ahead of the show, I had to give them both a dating photo challenge and they presented the photos they created to me during the show. Tune into to see who does it better, Phil or Jane. It was a super close competition to be honest… but there was a clear winner 👏🏽👏🏽 I also shared • What makes an awesome dating profile pic • Why good photos are so important • My 4 top favourite date spots around the globe (I just couldn’t choose one) and much more… Have you subscribed to this chatty, fun show that shares experiences and opinions on how to navigate the tricky world of dating to come out on top? Thanks for having me Phil & Jane 🙏🏽 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #newpodcast #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #datingpodcast #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
…how would you show up? I get a lot of emails from clients asking how and where they can do their photoshoots without many people seeing them. Ummm …. To be fair, it’d probably be my first question too, if I were in their shoes. I’m not exactly known for being a natural badass in front of the lens (there’s a reason I prefer being behind it!). But, thing is, those people really don’t care about what’s happening in your photoshoot. And why would you concern yourself worrying about what people - you don’t even know - think about you for 30 seconds? Fear makes no sense, even after you unpick it and challenge it. It’s still there. Being fearless is actually really hard… however you could try this… choose to ‘act as if’ you’re fearless! Yeah, how would that look? How would you show up then? Really think about how you would approach it. And then, just as an experiment, do that. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
+ The Ex-Philes Podcast + I had the pleasure of being invited onto an episode of the dating podcast, ’The Ex-Philes: Break-ups, Broken Hearts and Moving On’ recently & was interviewed by the two awesome hosts, Clair Lofthouse & Janice Formichella. Thank you so much to both of you, I really enjoyed connecting & sharing my top dating profile picture expertise with you. If you are getting over a breakup? I would highly recommend tuning in & subscribing. Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast all about healing a broken heart, building your confidence, and moving forward in an empowered way. Their favorite topics include healing from heartbreak, dating, ghosting, no contact, toxic relationships, communication, self-help, attachment styles and more. Thanks Janice & Clair 🙏🏽 #onlinedatingphotographer #datingpodcast #singlewomen #singlemen #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world. Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥 And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance. #onlinedatingphotographer #singlewomen #singlemen #onlinedatingapps #datingphotos #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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