getting the most out of your online dating?

getting the most out of your online dating?

How to get the most out of your online dating


Clients often ask me how I kept motivated over such a long period of time when I was online dating. At first, I was just wandering aimlessly and crazily in the dating wilderness and wasn’t enjoying myself much at all.  But then I established a kind of routine, where I challenged myself, looked after myself but above all made a conscious effort to enjoy myself.  One of the key things that helped me through my dating years was sharing stories with my friends. Whether good, funny or just plain awful, sharing stuff with my friends got me through.  Want to stay motivated and happy while you’re online dating?  Check out my top tips…


  • spend 15 minutes a day online checking out what’s out there, sending emails, replying to emails.  Get out there, make the effort and start connecting.  Cool stuff only happens when you show up.
  • do some exercise, even if it’s only for 10 minutes.  it gives you confidence, helps you to look good and more importantly helps you feel good about yourself.
  • got a crappy message from someone, or worse, no message back?  share it with a friend, laugh it off and move on.
  • need to tell someone you don’t want to see them any more?  call them and tell them you don’t want to see them any more.  then call a friend, laugh it off and move on.  maybe have a beer first, if you’re struggling. just the one though
  • update your best friend – laugh at the good and bad times



  • start chatting with someone new
  • cut short the email blether & ask someone out on an actual date
  • check in with your emotions – how are you feeling?  happy, rejected, lonely, strong, relaxed, uptight?  OK, if you’re not feeling on top form, what can you do about it?  Do you need to take a break?  If you’re not having some good times at least once a week, something is going wrong
  • do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone – c’mon, it’s scary but this is when the real fun happens.  contact a man with kids, go for a woman who is taller than you,  try someone outside your normal age bracket.  whoa scary, right?  trust me you’re gonna love that you gave it a go….
  • update your best friend on the highs and lows – laugh at the good times and the bad



  • do something just for you – don’t lose yourself in all this dating.  it’s good to treat yourself, remind yourself why you love you
  • check in and review how it’s gone this month.  Lots of interest but the wrong sort of person?  Too little action? Or have you had some great dates? Do you need to work on your profile, change dating sites, get some new photos?
  • are you feeling completely flat? have you just been dumped, or has someone dumped you? might be time to take a month or two off and go and do other stuff.  only come back to online dating when you feel a strong urge.
  • update your best friend on the highs and lows – laugh at the good and bad times
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