6 mistakes people make when online dating

6 mistakes people make when online dating

If you’ve been following me on here, you know by now that I have a lot of personal experience of online dating. I’m also, ultimately, an online dating success in that I’ve recently celebrated 5 years with my boyfriend who I met on Guardian Soulmates. It was a bit of a journey to get to that point, so I want to share with you the biggest mistakes I made on the way. Once I addressed these issues, it make my journey a lot more enjoyable and successful. I hope this helps you as you create your own online dating journey.

1. taking rejection personally

Rejection is a major part of online dating.  For everyone, not just you or me.  As you put yourself out there, you will find that people reject your moves or you reject theirs. It’s just how online dating works. But you know what? It really isn’t the end of the world.  It happens to everyone and the better able you are to shrug off rejection and move forward, the more enjoyable your experiences will be. Whenever I got rejected – everything from a guy not responding to an email to not wanting to see me again after a date – I’d allow myself a certain amount of time to be upset by it.  For example, for an unanswered email, I would allow myself about 20 minutes of self-pity, then I’d tell myself to get over it and move on.  For rejection after a date, I would allow myself a little longer, maybe up to a day or two but then I’d force myself to move on. It really helped me not take things too seriously. It also made me feel less bad when I rejected people – which I often found just as hard, if not harder.

 

2. emailing for too long without meeting up

When you find you have email chemistry with someone, it’s fun to keep this up for as long as possible. You can believe that you’ve found someone you gel with and it becomes quite easy to imagine a great future with them. But you know what?  People can be, and often are, completely different in real life that they are in email. Limit your emailing to a few times back and forth. Make sure you have enough information to decide whether they are worth meeting up with or not, then go ahead and arrange the meeting. If they are stalling to meet, there is probably a reason for that. You need to know what that reason is.

 

3. going for dinner on a first date

There is little worse that realising in the first five minutes of meeting someone that you don’t want to see them again or spend any more time with them but unfortunately you are just ordering your starters. If you haven’t experienced this yet, trust me it’s pretty painful. My solution to this was to only agree to a quick drink on a first date. I would always pretend I had somewhere else to go after an hour. On the many occasions when the date was actually going well, I’d fess up and tell them and end up staying much longer. The added bonus was that they usually felt pretty good hearing that so the night usually got even better.

 

4. seeing it as a means to an end

If you’re reading this blogpost, the chances are you aren’t enjoying your online dating experience as much as you could. One of the main reasons for this is probably because you just see it as a means to an end – finding someone to love. But as with most things in life, if you make the effort to enjoy what you’re doing, everything suddenly becomes a whole lot easier and more positive. Changing your attitude to online dating is probably the one thing you can do to improve your experiences and improve your luck. Decide today that you’re going to start enjoying the whole experience and that will help you meet more suitable people, shrug off rejection and be happier in yourself. Go fire up that positive attitude and see the difference it makes to your dating experience.

 

5. not taking a break when you feel jaded

It happens to everyone at some point, even those who are enjoying themselves, when you realise you’re really fed up with online dating and need a break. When you start feeling like that, the best thing you can do is to take that break. Give yourself some time off.  Hide your profile and go and throw yourself into something completely different for a month or so. It’ll leave you ready and raring to go again which is how you need to feel if you are going to approach online dating with a positive attitude.

 

6. letting your profile stagnate

Are you still using the same written profile and photos that you started with 18 months ago? Hmmm no wonder you might start to feel a bit jaded. To keep your profile fresh and at the top of the pile on dating sites, make sure you’re changing it up every couple of months. Rewrite your profile – have a bit of fun with it – and try out some different photos. Make sure they are good ones – clean, bright, in focus – and that you look good in them. Without a doubt you’ll see a sudden upsurge in interest. Now go have fun out there and enjoy the journey.

 

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
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Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving these gorgeous shots captured on the colourful streets of the Northern Quarter in Manchester by our Queen of the north, Livia. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
In today's episode of the happiest dating photoshoots on earth, we head over to the gorgeous neighbourhood of Notting Hill with Nicole as our guide, as she captures moments of joy, fun and good times. You can imagine how much I'm loving these. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers, Alyssa is back in town shooting for Hey Saturday, NYC, yay. Absolutely love love loving these shots of this client captured in the Lower East Side and SoHo. Together they've created some head-turning, dating photo goodness. Photo credit: Alyssa for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The secret to having a good dating photoshoot is actually having a good time on your photoshoot (and Hey Saturday photographers know how to have a good time 🙌🏽). J'adoring this set created by Suze recently in Bristol. This client looks happy, confident and like she loves her life. The perfect vibe for dating profile pics. Kudos Suze. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We love dating profile pics that inspire joy! And these photos from one of Nicole's recent Shoreditch shoots are giving me all the joyful feels right now - LOVING this set. Do your dating pics surprise and delight? Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Plant dad! Wine and craft beer aficionado! Loving everything that's going on here. Shouts out to Vanessa for capturing this lil' bit of dating profile photo magic in the Arts District, Downtown LA Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Where focus goes, energy flows. Be the star of every single one of your dating profile pics for maximum impact. Loving these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo, yet another gorgeous, stand out set. You bring the energy and authentic vibes, we'll bring the photo talent and good times. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Shouts out to the lovely Megan who took a wee break but is back now and shooting regularly once again at the Custard Factory in Birmingham. Loving these bold, colourful shots, Megan, total flex. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Bringing flowers to your photoshoot is an absolute favourite of mine - to me it says you value nature and beauty ... and that you value yourself because you're the kind of person who treats yourself to flowers 💐 Love everything about this set from Nicole, shot in King's Cross recently. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Hey Alexa! Show me great NYC dating profile pics. Yesss, loving these. Props to Alison shooting in Bushwick for these cool gems. We offer shoots in Bushwick, Dumbo, SoHo & Williamsburg every week and finally the good weather is coming (…although not today obviously!). There is still some magic left in the world. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #dowhatyoulove #youareenough #lovelife #youareworthit #datingadvice #creativevibes #modernlove #startup #entrepreneur #brand #personalbranding #creativephotography #datenight #selfworth #loveyourselffirst #loveyourself #newprofilepic #loveyourlife #datingapps #singlelife #personalbrandingphotographer #datingphotos #mindsetreset #psychology #datingapp #onlinedatingtips
I love the year-round summer shots we get back from LA. Cannot wait to head back there myself in September 🌴 …And well these are just a whole vibe. Loving her style, her energy and how her personality shines through. Huge shouts out to Vanessa shooting in and around Venice, LA for these gorgeous shots. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Well these dating photos are so my jam. I'm adoring the bold use of colour which’ll make sure they jump out on a dating app near you. I so love it when Livia flexes her creative muscles at the Northern Quarter...✨ Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
My favourite thing on the Internet today? This glimpse of some ace profile pics from Vanessa's recent shoot in colourful Abbot Kinney, LA. J'adoring these, V. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #portraitphotography #portrait_shots #confidence #selflove #brand #personalbranding #datenight #singlelife #datingphotos #onlinedatingsite #onlinedatingapps #datingapps #datingphotoshoot #datenightoutfit #datingprofilepic #datingwithpurpose #loveonline #modernromance #modernlove #newprofilepic #newprofile #tinder #tinderprofile #tinderpic #tinderprofilepic #datingphotosformen #datingphotographer #datingphotographer
When your dating profile pics show people what matters to you, what you're about, magic is made. What would yours say about you? I'm adoring these bold, colourful, personality-driven shots taken by Kimi in Greenwich, London. Fab stuff, Kimi. Photo credit: Kimi for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Whenever I need a legit, natural high I check out the latest Hey Saturday photoshoots. J'adoring these from Nicole - the colour, the vibe, the personality..... Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We love creating dating profile pics that (probably) lead to a better dating life, good times and sometimes a love so deep, it makes the storyline from Titanic seem a bit meh. Shouts out to Alison, who shot these absolute gems in NoLita, one of my fave spots in NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I’ve never cared much for Valentine’s Day, single or otherwise, despite my line of work. (I know, I know a very unpopular opinion for someone in the dating field 😂). So instead of posting about that, I wanted to share about something I do love. After doing a diploma in Forest Bathing during lockdown to keep me outta trouble, Hey Saturday started working with the global organisation @onetreeplanted, committing to planting a tree in Ethiopia for every dating photoshoot we sell. Why Ethiopia? This tree planting project links environmental restoration with income generation, providing the local community with the knowledge and tools to conserve their land, protect their water supply, and create a sustainable, diverse economy for future generations ✨ Despite being a bit of a covid year last year, we planted 592 trees between April & December 🌿🌿🌿 so a big shout out goes to our clients for supporting us and helping make this happen. I am so looking forward to contributing many more trees in the years ahead hopefully 🙏🏽 #forestbathing #trees #treehugger #environment #climatechange #dating #antivalentinesday #deforestation #datingphotographer #loveonline #modernromance #goodtimes #onelove #datingapps #datingphotoshoot #profilepictures #brandingphotography #visualstorytelling #loveyourself #selflove
I don’t know about you but when I look at these dating pics, a whole choir of angels start singing & my heart soars. I’m just loving these shots captured by Nicole who was adventuring through Shoreditch with this lovely client. Total vibe, Nicole 👏🏽👏🏽 Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Pull up a pew, grab the popcorn and check out these West Coast vibes today, captured by Vanessa shooting in and around the Arts District of Downtown LA. These are right up my street. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time for another episode of the Happiest Dating Photoshoots on Earth... this time we're heading back to Manchester to catch up with our beloved Livia and showcase her stunning visual treat of a shoot in and around the Northern Quarter, Manchester. I don't know about you, but these pics give me joy. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos