6 mistakes people make when online dating

6 mistakes people make when online dating

If you’ve been following me on here, you know by now that I have a lot of personal experience of online dating. I’m also, ultimately, an online dating success in that I’ve recently celebrated 5 years with my boyfriend who I met on Guardian Soulmates. It was a bit of a journey to get to that point, so I want to share with you the biggest mistakes I made on the way. Once I addressed these issues, it make my journey a lot more enjoyable and successful. I hope this helps you as you create your own online dating journey.

1. taking rejection personally

Rejection is a major part of online dating.  For everyone, not just you or me.  As you put yourself out there, you will find that people reject your moves or you reject theirs. It’s just how online dating works. But you know what? It really isn’t the end of the world.  It happens to everyone and the better able you are to shrug off rejection and move forward, the more enjoyable your experiences will be. Whenever I got rejected – everything from a guy not responding to an email to not wanting to see me again after a date – I’d allow myself a certain amount of time to be upset by it.  For example, for an unanswered email, I would allow myself about 20 minutes of self-pity, then I’d tell myself to get over it and move on.  For rejection after a date, I would allow myself a little longer, maybe up to a day or two but then I’d force myself to move on. It really helped me not take things too seriously. It also made me feel less bad when I rejected people – which I often found just as hard, if not harder.

 

2. emailing for too long without meeting up

When you find you have email chemistry with someone, it’s fun to keep this up for as long as possible. You can believe that you’ve found someone you gel with and it becomes quite easy to imagine a great future with them. But you know what?  People can be, and often are, completely different in real life that they are in email. Limit your emailing to a few times back and forth. Make sure you have enough information to decide whether they are worth meeting up with or not, then go ahead and arrange the meeting. If they are stalling to meet, there is probably a reason for that. You need to know what that reason is.

 

3. going for dinner on a first date

There is little worse that realising in the first five minutes of meeting someone that you don’t want to see them again or spend any more time with them but unfortunately you are just ordering your starters. If you haven’t experienced this yet, trust me it’s pretty painful. My solution to this was to only agree to a quick drink on a first date. I would always pretend I had somewhere else to go after an hour. On the many occasions when the date was actually going well, I’d fess up and tell them and end up staying much longer. The added bonus was that they usually felt pretty good hearing that so the night usually got even better.

 

4. seeing it as a means to an end

If you’re reading this blogpost, the chances are you aren’t enjoying your online dating experience as much as you could. One of the main reasons for this is probably because you just see it as a means to an end – finding someone to love. But as with most things in life, if you make the effort to enjoy what you’re doing, everything suddenly becomes a whole lot easier and more positive. Changing your attitude to online dating is probably the one thing you can do to improve your experiences and improve your luck. Decide today that you’re going to start enjoying the whole experience and that will help you meet more suitable people, shrug off rejection and be happier in yourself. Go fire up that positive attitude and see the difference it makes to your dating experience.

 

5. not taking a break when you feel jaded

It happens to everyone at some point, even those who are enjoying themselves, when you realise you’re really fed up with online dating and need a break. When you start feeling like that, the best thing you can do is to take that break. Give yourself some time off.  Hide your profile and go and throw yourself into something completely different for a month or so. It’ll leave you ready and raring to go again which is how you need to feel if you are going to approach online dating with a positive attitude.

 

6. letting your profile stagnate

Are you still using the same written profile and photos that you started with 18 months ago? Hmmm no wonder you might start to feel a bit jaded. To keep your profile fresh and at the top of the pile on dating sites, make sure you’re changing it up every couple of months. Rewrite your profile – have a bit of fun with it – and try out some different photos. Make sure they are good ones – clean, bright, in focus – and that you look good in them. Without a doubt you’ll see a sudden upsurge in interest. Now go have fun out there and enjoy the journey.

 

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
dating app profile
👑Originality is King 👑 The more original your dating profile and pics, the more success you’ll have on the apps. Research backs this up. But how do you create dating photos that capture your unique, special voice and vibe? Start with this simple, but powerful, question: How do I stand out from other people? Write it all down - passions, interests, inspirations, values, vibe. All of it. And use that as your framework to create your profile pics. Think about how you can visually capture your story in your photos using props, clothes, body language, locations, vibe and attitude. It’s challenging to do this, but have fun with it. It’ll show in your pics. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Is it time for an originality check on your dating app profile? Recent research has backed up what dating experts having been saying for years, people respond particularly well to the use of originality in dating profiles. Higher originality in your dating profile is associated with the following: + increased belief in physical attraction + greater intelligence + higher romantic intention (ie how likely would you be to date this person?) + higher humour perception + lower perceptions of oddness/peculiarity Brilliant news then! They found nothing negative associated with adopting originality in your profile. Therefore we can all benefit from an originality check 🙌🏽 Check out my recent blog post with some ideas on how to review your own profile through the lens of originality. It’s kind of obvious when you think about it - that the more you reveal some real truths about yourself the easier it will be to connect with your kind of people - but it’s still something people haven’t mastered, tending to rely on well worn cliches and lots of generalisations in order to fit in. I’ll say that again - the more you reveal about your authentic self, the easier it’ll be to connect with your vibe of people 🙌🏽 Dating apps are not the place to fit it. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop whoop, it’s Megan in the house, shooting in the cool neighbourhood of The Custard Factory in Birmingham. J’adoring these shots, full of personality and good times. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #datingapps #datingtips #explorepage #profilephoto #profilepic #datingadvice #singlelifestyle #explorereels #singlemomlife #datingcoach #datingadvice #datingphoto #datingphotography #datingphotographerlondon #onlinedatingphotographer #newprofilepic #selflove #profilepictures #soulmate #birminghamphotographer #portaitphotography #personalbranding #personaldatingbrand #goodtimes #datingmindset #mindsetmatters
I hope I never have to hear the words ‘fatfishing’ ever again … yuck … but while we’re here, this is a useful and timely reminder to check that the set of photos you have on your dating app profile are up-to-date and pretty much representative of who you are today. Research has shown that if you use photos that misrepresent you in any way, your date will feel deceived. Eek. And since going on dates is a key way to find out how trustworthy someone is, you’ll have blown it before they’ve even sat down and got a drink in their hand. I’m not just talking about weight here, of course. We’re all changing all the time, inside and out and the more your profile pics can capture the latest iteration of you, the better it’ll be. As the woman says in the article, it isn’t so much their size that’s the issue, she’s into dad bods apparently, it’s to do with the deceit. You don’t want to build something with someone who’s ok to start a romantic connection based on that. What do you think? Have you experienced any form of this? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating photo tip Hold something 💛 When we’re in front of a camera lens, many of us feel self-conscious and often our first thought is ‘But what should I do with my hands?’ Holding something in your hand is a great way to relax your body and focus on looking and feeling good instead. Even better, is when you hold something you love 💛💛 When you hold something you love like a plant, your camera, your dog or guitar you feel instantly good, as your focus shifts from the shoot to something that brings you joy. It has the added benefit of telling people more about who you are, your personality interests and passions🍦 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hey Saturday - because you’re worth it. So much love for these gorgeous shots taken by Livia in one of our newest locations - Salford Quays. We’re loving this Manchester location as it tends to be pretty quiet, it’s by the water and there’s still lots of colour to add vibrancy and depth to the images. J’adore! Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Great profile pics attract attention. Authentic ones keep it 🔥 The biggest reason people don’t get second dates, according to Match, is because they look nothing like their profile pics. And yeah, no you aren’t going to be able to win them over on the date with your sparkling personality sadly … because, before they’ve even sat down, they feel deceived by you. And that ain’t a good look on a date. People want relationships with trustworthy people. Don’t blow it. Keep it real. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
There’s actual magic in relaxing and goofing off with your Hey Saturday photographer ✨ When people look at the photos captured by the photographer during these moments, they feel your joy, warmth and approachability. And they’ll more often than not want to connect. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
AI generated dating photos? What do you think? I mean what the f-ck? Don’t get me wrong, I’m fascinated by what’s occurring in the AI creativity space at the moment. AI generated paintings, photographs, songwriting etc. I’m fascinated yeah and kind of a little horrified at the same time, I think. So yeah, for $19 you can head to Photo AI, upload some photos of yourself and they’ll generate a set of dating profile pics. Hurrah, sounds like a bargain. Buuuut … when it comes to dating, well that’s something else entirely. Dating is deeply rooted in the human experience, right. So, IMO, I believe you need that connection between photographer and dater, that beautifully unique human-to-human contact… if you want to create gorgeously authentic profile pics. The word that comes to mind for me when looking at the profile pics in this article is creepy. Creepy AF. But that’s just me. I know I’m likely to biased but…it’ll always be a ‘hell no’ from me. What do you think? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Ooh yes, love it when our clients show up willing to share their personal brand magic in front of the lens. They understand what makes them unique, they feel good about themselves and they’re up for experimenting and giving things a go in front of the camera. What a combo ✨ Big kudos to Alison for creating this awesome set on the streets of Williamsburg, absolute genius. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday: the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Wanna transform your dating life in 30 days? Um… yeah that reel went so much better in my head 😂 Can you tell I’ve had a month off from the ‘gram!? Jeez. Anyways ~ I’ve just shared a blogpost ‘30 Day Challenge Ideas that will Transform your Dating Life’. 30 day challenges can be life-changing …. but really adopting a dating challenge is about allowing yourself to become more playful and experimental with your dating life. The goal here isn’t to find your soulmate. It’s about + throwing yourself into the middle of life + chucking out your rule book + rewriting your dating story + discarding those awful checklists + taking risks + getting ghosted + challenging your expectations + accepting the sting of rejection + showing up as your wonderfully weird self + feeling cherished + getting butterflies Yeah there was no way my menopausal brain was going to remember all that for the reel, so no wonder I went off topic. But I digress… So yes, basically they help you throw yourself into the glorious, messy joy that is life. When it’s couched as a challenge though, you’ll find it’a much easier to accept whatever life throws at you, because it’s ‘just an experiment’. If you’re intrigued, there’s a link to the blog in our link-tree, go check it out and let us know how you get on 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. Any photos seen are taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepaģes
2022 - you’ve been a trip I’ve said goodbye to both my beloved in-laws ❤️ And a different kind of goodbye to my therapist, after 5 years of working together…although the inner and outer transformation will go on, Richard, I promise. But, alongside the awesomeness of Hey Saturday, it’s also been a wild ride through lots of new and old favourite places from Paris to Los Angeles and it’s provided so many moments of mischievous joy with friends and family, but most of all with my favourite person on the planet who, as of a week ago, I’m lucky enough to call my hubby ❤️ 2023? Heck yeah, I’ll dance to that. #therapyiscool #growthmindset #adventuretime #traveltime #wanderlust #goodtimes #intentionalliving #explorereels #explore #adventures #mindsetmatters #intentionallife #travellife #therapyworks #traveltherapy #lifegoals #lifeisgood #everythingislove #everythingisenergy #everythingiscool #innerwork #innerwisdom #innertransformation #transformative #habloespañol #losangeleslife #parisianstyle
✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
You get a couple of seconds to make an impression, so make those seconds count. Our fave dating photos are ones that are compelling, colourful, creative, story-telling, authentic, vibrant and, of course, ones that make you smile. Great set from Alison in downtown Manhattan, NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, NYC #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop! Reliving happy moments from last month when I was visiting LA and was hanging out in Abbot Kinney, the Arts District Downtown and Silver Lake, all fab Hey Saturday locations. These gorgeous shots, captured by Vanessa, were taken in the Arts District and I’m loving the energy, colour and good vibes. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
The Two Key Ingredients for a Great Dating Profile 📣 new blog post alert 📣 A new study has just dropped that encourages dating app users to embrace originality when creating their dating profile text. Just as I encourage our clients to visually show how they stand out from others in their profile pictures, this study has backed up what dating experts, like James Preece, have been saying all along too… Lose the generic, cliché-ridden text and share something meaningful instead - like what makes you special/different from everyone else. The researchers attempted to understand what precisely makes for compelling profile text. They found that highly original text tended to contain one or more of the following 5 elements: • Metaphorical expressions (e.g. “I’m a rock-star at cooking curries” vs “I’m a good cook”) • Vivid descriptions & imagery ….. .. Head to the blog to read more - link in bio. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
Love this tried and tested hack for our clients who aren’t feeling ‘enough’ the day of their dating photoshoot. The moment they take hold of something that brings them joy - their camera, their yoga mat, their boxing gloves, their paintbrush or whatever it may be - they immediately relax, smile and feel at ease with themselves. I love this moment so much and it creates such great profile pics ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
These dating photos are so my jam. I’m adoring the bold colour and variety of backgrounds. Shouts out to Suze, who shot these on the streets of Clifton Village in Bristol. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
If your dating app pics make people smile, they’re going to feel happy while looking at your profile. That means they are waaaaay more likely to want to reach out and connect with you. And that’s the kind of response we love ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes