Dating Apps: The Reframe That’s a Game-Changer
Dating Apps: From Maddening to Magic
Part Two: The Reframe That’s a Game-Changer
In Part one of this short series, Dating Apps: From Maddening to Magic, I outline the actionable steps we can take to start answering the question:
How can we transform our dating apps experiences from maddening to magic?
If you haven’t checked it out yet, it’s worth a read. It focuses on ways to stop using the apps as a way of seeking validation to get yourself a quick dopamine high.
Today I want to focus on developing a simple, but powerful reframe which will immediately transform your dating app experiences.
In psychology and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), assigning a new meaning to a situation to change how you feel about it is called cognitive reframing.
In essence, we are changing the ‘lens’ through which we view the app. We are challenging the widely recognised meaning and consciously assigning a different, more helpful one.
Rather than thinking of dating apps as this hub for your love life, think of them solely as selection and introduction tools to help you connect with other single people.
We assign way too much meaning to our dating apps, when we should just use them in a way that we use google for searching for things or schedules for tracking appointments.
When we think of them as ‘just a selection and introduction tool’, we take the emotion out of the experience. Now we can look at them with a fresh, analytical view. So, what is the best way to enhance your experience with this tool?
What two things can we do to enhance this selection & introduction tool?
1. Review your dating app profile. Is it optimised to help you filter out people who aren’t your vibe but, more importantly, filter in those who are?
2. Review how you interact with the apps to filter for high-compatibility matches more effectively.
We will cover the second point in part three of this series, which I will link here, when it’s ready.
How do we optimise your profile to make it work harder for you and act more like a filter?
Photos
Lead with a strong profile photo, supported by 5 or 6 colourful, well-lit, good quality, personality-driven photos showcasing who you are, what you’re about and what you’re into. From your photos, folks should be able to gain a great insight into your lifestyle, not just what you look like. Hey Saturday is great at this, of course, it’s what we specialise in.
Write a specific, conversational bio.
Avoid clichés and lists like the plague. Many dating app profiles are still littered with these and times have moved on. Share concrete details and quirks that give people a genuine insight into who you are and give people an easy opening to message you. That last is key and many people forget that.
State your intentions upfront
Don’t be afraid to clarify what kind of relationship you are looking for. Your time and energy are precious, so treat them as such. By stating exactly what kind of relationship you are after, you’ll weed out incompatible users from the get-go.
Done that? Amazing, you’re ready to tune into part three – how to best interact with the apps to keep your sanity and filter most effectively for high quality matches.
This is perhaps the most important section as this is absolutely the area that lets people down and causes the most havoc in our dating app experiences.
