5 crucial steps to attracting your soulmate
Don’t worry, you’re not going to find any woo woo advice here about manifesting your dream partner, that’s not how I roll. In fact I’m not big on the term soulmate either come to that. However, saying all that, I spent 7/8 years indulging in online dating to find a guy that I felt I could live with and spend good times with creating happy memories until the end of days so I guess that counts as a soulmate. The reason it took me so long to attract my soulmate was because for many of those years my head was not really in the right place. It took me a while to figure it out but I finally realised there were some crucial steps to put in place in order to be at your most ‘soulmate attractive’. Read on to see how I did it…
1. Love yourself like your life depends on it
If I don’t harp on about the importance of loving yourself in every blog post I write, I’d be very surprised. If you’re wondering why, it’s because if I have one message in life it’s this – don’t even think about heading out and looking for sex, love and/or a soulmate without totally loving yourself first. You’ll end up allowing yourself to be treated badly by people who don’t value and appreciate you in all your glory. If you don’t love yourself before embarking on finding your soulmate, what kind of message are you sending out into the universe. How are you going to attract someone who is worthy of you, if you don’t even value yourself?? If you can’t put your hand on your heart right now and say that you love yourself 100%, then I would suggest taking a quick break from dating and reading the book, ‘Love yourself like your life depends on it‘, by Kamal Ravikant. You can read it on your commute home and probably finish it in one sitting, it’s not a long book, but implementing his methods may take a little longer. And yes, this guy knows his stuff. It’s a fantastic book that will get you on track. Once you’re totally loving yourself, you’re ready to embark on that search for the elusive soulmate and trust me, you’re getting closer.
2. Live your life to the max
So, the best way to find your soulmate is to make sure your life isn’t all about finding a soulmate. Confused? Lol, no seriously, get out there and make sure you’re living your life to the full. If you focus on saying yes a lot, trying new things, being open to meeting new people, visiting new places, trying new experiences, scaring yourself at least once a month, you’ll find your life becomes a lot more interesting and you’ll be more likely to meet the kind of people you want to date. In short, you’ll be putting yourself out there and to be honest, that’s one of the quickest ways to find someone special. If you find yourself in a rut, eating at the same restaurants, meeting the same friends, signing on to the same dating site, using that profile you’ve had for four years, eeek, you’re in trouble. If you like what you’re reading but don’t know where to start, head to Meet.com, they have groups for everything you can imagine and they’re probably in your area.
This is about enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, discovering your passions in life rather than focusing on finding a soulmate but what it’s doing is getting your head in the right space to meet them and it’s putting you out there in touch with like-minded and unlike-minded folk in the hope that the chemistry kicks in and you find yourself meeting that someone special.
3. Figure out the values that really resonate with you
When I started dating, back in the time of dinosaurs, I was massively into clubbing and house music and it’s probably fair to say that about 80% of the guys I dated at that time were house music DJs. Now don’t get me wrong, those were amazing times and those guys were great, I wouldn’t swap it for the world but what I didn’t realise then that I realise now, is that sharing the exact same music taste isn’t actually necessary in your soulmate. It’s the same with a lot of things – having shared hobbies, liking the same food etc – which while nice to have – aren’t essential in a soulmate. So what do you need to share with your soulmate? Easy, shared values. A person’s core values, i.e. their fundamental beliefs, are what drives them to make decisions and choices about all the major things in life like where to live, how to bring up children, what life style they lead etc. Many people don’t really stop and think about their core values in that way, when online dating, but it’s quite helpful in guiding you to make good choices about the people you decide to date. My core values, for example were trust, kindness, respect and fun and this helped make good dating decisions that then lead me to my soulmate.
4. Don’t shy away from failure
To find your soulmate, you have to put yourself out there and go on dates with lots of different people, after all how else are you going to find out if they share your core values or not. If you’re afraid of failure when it comes to dating, you’ll be too cautious and not experiment enough. Get comfortable with the fact that you’re probably going to have lots of first dates that don’t go any further. Let yourself know that that’s more than OK, it’s necessary. You need to trust the process if you want to find your soulmate. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad about failed dates. You need to set the tone for how people react to your dating stories. If you’re fine with it, so are they.
5. Channel optimism
In all your online dating activity, channel optimism. Stay positive at all times. You won’t meet that soulmate if you’re in a bad place about online dating. But if you follow all the steps above, trust me, this won’t be an effort at all. You’ll be loving yourself, loving life and loving the adventures of online dating. Good luck and keep me posted on how it goes!