Inspiring Interview – Sarah Jones of Introverted Alpha

Inspiring Interview – Sarah Jones of Introverted Alpha

Earlier in the year I was living it up on the west coast of the US in San Francisco, so I couldn’t wait to connect with Sarah Jones, a dating expert who is based there. Sarah is one cool entrepreneur and relationship expert, who launched Introverted Alpha a couple of years ago (I’m in LOVE with the name of her company). She helps smart, introverted men attract women naturally. She teaches them how to attract women through their own unique badassery rather than letting them rely on fake, creepy approaches which women dislike. She helps them figure out what’s great about them and helps them turn up the dial on that, encouraging them to build genuine confidence and learn dating skills in a linear, logical way.

Listen in to our recent Skype chat as she shares some of her gems on how to approach women, how to handle rejection like a pro and even how to break up with someone with grace and aplomb.

 

Who are your typical clients?

My typical clients are guys who are in their late 20’s. They look after their body, they might do yoga for example, they’re good looking but they don’t realise how attractive they are. They have everything else in their lives more or less figured out – career, hobbies etc but they haven’t found success in their love lives. There are lots of guys like this in San Francisco.

Are most of your clients from San Francisco then?

Yes the majority are from San Francisco but I market worldwide so I get a lot from all over the US and about 10% come from outside the US.

 

 

Sarah Jones

What are your clients’ biggest challenges?

Well, all my clients probably think their challenges are unique to them but actually they’re not. Most of my clients are scared of approaching women and, that right there, is their biggest challenge. They are unsure about what to say to them, they know they want to avoid the ‘pick-up thing’ though. Most of them actually want a girlfriend.

Do you help them with online dating as well as offline?

Yes absolutely. I encourage and support them to do both.

Would you be happy to share some of your top tips for guys wanting to approach women?

Yes of course.

1. Know what it is about you that makes you attractive

Know that you’re an amazing guy and access that. I have written an ebook on how to figure out your most attractive qualities and values.

2. Develop a good sense of self

3. Try the following:

a) Make eye contact – especially if you’re nervous. It makes them think you’re not afraid (even if you actually are)

b) Read her – this helps you avoid being creepy.

3) Be genuine in your approach – for example you might say, ‘I noticed you and had to come and say hi’. This is true and it’s very powerful.

4) The more great responses you get from approaching women, the more confident you’ll become. You can keep refining each time so you get better and better at it.

Sarah Jones

What are the classic pitfalls in dating that they experience?

The hardest thing in dating is handling rejection. Any rejection feels big. It’s the same in business as in dating. I pitch to journalists all the time and most don’t get back to me but I don’t take it personally. It isn’t personal. There are lots of valid reasons why they’re not getting back and it’s not about me personally. And of course I’m fine with that. What I do when I get positive responses is to focus on what’s working. Find out why they responded and learn from that. Always contextualise your rejection. You may not be the right fit for everyone but you will be the right fit for many.

Do you help your clients transition from dating to a relationship?

Absolutely. Their biggest fear is going into the relationship stage too soon. I remind them to chill and ramp things up slowly. Don’t start seeing a date every night or she will read a lot into that. See them a couple of times a week. Text, but not all the time. And enjoy the time in between seeing them. Have the space you need to think clearly about how you feel about them, you’re less likely to get it wrong then.

How do you support them through break ups?

I have actually lived through an awesome break-up so I know a lot about promoting healthy break-ups. When I was living with my ex, we started coaching school and were learning how to really communicate. Before that we had been brushing things under the carpet. We started putting into practice what we were learning which led to us asking, ‘if we were to break up, how would we do it? This conversation made us realise that we were both imagining our lives apart as opposed as together and so both of us got excited as we started planning our next chapter.

My advice to guys who are thinking about breaking up with someone, is to first be honest and decide if you really want to break up with them or not. Get clear on what is actually going on with you. If you do, then find an elegant way of telling them that you can’t stay in the relationship and be the man you want to be.

What is the most important thing your clients need to be aware of?

Being authentic, being you is key. My motto is:

 

Enjoy the hell out of being you”

Everything comes down to that quote. Enjoy being you. Be present and appreciative. When you’re having fun, you’re going to attract people. Everyone wants to date someone who is fun and having fun.

 

Sarah Jones founded Introverted Alpha to help smart introverted men attract women naturally. Her work has been featured on AskMen, Cosmo, Quiet Revolution, Business Insider, San Francisco Chronicle, and more. She loves helping men use their natural strengths to attract women, without having to use tricks or be someone they’re not.

 

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
dating app profile
👑Originality is King 👑 The more original your dating profile and pics, the more success you’ll have on the apps. Research backs this up. But how do you create dating photos that capture your unique, special voice and vibe? Start with this simple, but powerful, question: How do I stand out from other people? Write it all down - passions, interests, inspirations, values, vibe. All of it. And use that as your framework to create your profile pics. Think about how you can visually capture your story in your photos using props, clothes, body language, locations, vibe and attitude. It’s challenging to do this, but have fun with it. It’ll show in your pics. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Is it time for an originality check on your dating app profile? Recent research has backed up what dating experts having been saying for years, people respond particularly well to the use of originality in dating profiles. Higher originality in your dating profile is associated with the following: + increased belief in physical attraction + greater intelligence + higher romantic intention (ie how likely would you be to date this person?) + higher humour perception + lower perceptions of oddness/peculiarity Brilliant news then! They found nothing negative associated with adopting originality in your profile. Therefore we can all benefit from an originality check 🙌🏽 Check out my recent blog post with some ideas on how to review your own profile through the lens of originality. It’s kind of obvious when you think about it - that the more you reveal some real truths about yourself the easier it will be to connect with your kind of people - but it’s still something people haven’t mastered, tending to rely on well worn cliches and lots of generalisations in order to fit in. I’ll say that again - the more you reveal about your authentic self, the easier it’ll be to connect with your vibe of people 🙌🏽 Dating apps are not the place to fit it. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop whoop, it’s Megan in the house, shooting in the cool neighbourhood of The Custard Factory in Birmingham. J’adoring these shots, full of personality and good times. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #datingapps #datingtips #explorepage #profilephoto #profilepic #datingadvice #singlelifestyle #explorereels #singlemomlife #datingcoach #datingadvice #datingphoto #datingphotography #datingphotographerlondon #onlinedatingphotographer #newprofilepic #selflove #profilepictures #soulmate #birminghamphotographer #portaitphotography #personalbranding #personaldatingbrand #goodtimes #datingmindset #mindsetmatters
I hope I never have to hear the words ‘fatfishing’ ever again … yuck … but while we’re here, this is a useful and timely reminder to check that the set of photos you have on your dating app profile are up-to-date and pretty much representative of who you are today. Research has shown that if you use photos that misrepresent you in any way, your date will feel deceived. Eek. And since going on dates is a key way to find out how trustworthy someone is, you’ll have blown it before they’ve even sat down and got a drink in their hand. I’m not just talking about weight here, of course. We’re all changing all the time, inside and out and the more your profile pics can capture the latest iteration of you, the better it’ll be. As the woman says in the article, it isn’t so much their size that’s the issue, she’s into dad bods apparently, it’s to do with the deceit. You don’t want to build something with someone who’s ok to start a romantic connection based on that. What do you think? Have you experienced any form of this? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating photo tip Hold something 💛 When we’re in front of a camera lens, many of us feel self-conscious and often our first thought is ‘But what should I do with my hands?’ Holding something in your hand is a great way to relax your body and focus on looking and feeling good instead. Even better, is when you hold something you love 💛💛 When you hold something you love like a plant, your camera, your dog or guitar you feel instantly good, as your focus shifts from the shoot to something that brings you joy. It has the added benefit of telling people more about who you are, your personality interests and passions🍦 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hey Saturday - because you’re worth it. So much love for these gorgeous shots taken by Livia in one of our newest locations - Salford Quays. We’re loving this Manchester location as it tends to be pretty quiet, it’s by the water and there’s still lots of colour to add vibrancy and depth to the images. J’adore! Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Great profile pics attract attention. Authentic ones keep it 🔥 The biggest reason people don’t get second dates, according to Match, is because they look nothing like their profile pics. And yeah, no you aren’t going to be able to win them over on the date with your sparkling personality sadly … because, before they’ve even sat down, they feel deceived by you. And that ain’t a good look on a date. People want relationships with trustworthy people. Don’t blow it. Keep it real. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
There’s actual magic in relaxing and goofing off with your Hey Saturday photographer ✨ When people look at the photos captured by the photographer during these moments, they feel your joy, warmth and approachability. And they’ll more often than not want to connect. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
AI generated dating photos? What do you think? I mean what the f-ck? Don’t get me wrong, I’m fascinated by what’s occurring in the AI creativity space at the moment. AI generated paintings, photographs, songwriting etc. I’m fascinated yeah and kind of a little horrified at the same time, I think. So yeah, for $19 you can head to Photo AI, upload some photos of yourself and they’ll generate a set of dating profile pics. Hurrah, sounds like a bargain. Buuuut … when it comes to dating, well that’s something else entirely. Dating is deeply rooted in the human experience, right. So, IMO, I believe you need that connection between photographer and dater, that beautifully unique human-to-human contact… if you want to create gorgeously authentic profile pics. The word that comes to mind for me when looking at the profile pics in this article is creepy. Creepy AF. But that’s just me. I know I’m likely to biased but…it’ll always be a ‘hell no’ from me. What do you think? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Ooh yes, love it when our clients show up willing to share their personal brand magic in front of the lens. They understand what makes them unique, they feel good about themselves and they’re up for experimenting and giving things a go in front of the camera. What a combo ✨ Big kudos to Alison for creating this awesome set on the streets of Williamsburg, absolute genius. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday: the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Wanna transform your dating life in 30 days? Um… yeah that reel went so much better in my head 😂 Can you tell I’ve had a month off from the ‘gram!? Jeez. Anyways ~ I’ve just shared a blogpost ‘30 Day Challenge Ideas that will Transform your Dating Life’. 30 day challenges can be life-changing …. but really adopting a dating challenge is about allowing yourself to become more playful and experimental with your dating life. The goal here isn’t to find your soulmate. It’s about + throwing yourself into the middle of life + chucking out your rule book + rewriting your dating story + discarding those awful checklists + taking risks + getting ghosted + challenging your expectations + accepting the sting of rejection + showing up as your wonderfully weird self + feeling cherished + getting butterflies Yeah there was no way my menopausal brain was going to remember all that for the reel, so no wonder I went off topic. But I digress… So yes, basically they help you throw yourself into the glorious, messy joy that is life. When it’s couched as a challenge though, you’ll find it’a much easier to accept whatever life throws at you, because it’s ‘just an experiment’. If you’re intrigued, there’s a link to the blog in our link-tree, go check it out and let us know how you get on 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. Any photos seen are taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepaģes
2022 - you’ve been a trip I’ve said goodbye to both my beloved in-laws ❤️ And a different kind of goodbye to my therapist, after 5 years of working together…although the inner and outer transformation will go on, Richard, I promise. But, alongside the awesomeness of Hey Saturday, it’s also been a wild ride through lots of new and old favourite places from Paris to Los Angeles and it’s provided so many moments of mischievous joy with friends and family, but most of all with my favourite person on the planet who, as of a week ago, I’m lucky enough to call my hubby ❤️ 2023? Heck yeah, I’ll dance to that. #therapyiscool #growthmindset #adventuretime #traveltime #wanderlust #goodtimes #intentionalliving #explorereels #explore #adventures #mindsetmatters #intentionallife #travellife #therapyworks #traveltherapy #lifegoals #lifeisgood #everythingislove #everythingisenergy #everythingiscool #innerwork #innerwisdom #innertransformation #transformative #habloespañol #losangeleslife #parisianstyle
✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
You get a couple of seconds to make an impression, so make those seconds count. Our fave dating photos are ones that are compelling, colourful, creative, story-telling, authentic, vibrant and, of course, ones that make you smile. Great set from Alison in downtown Manhattan, NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, NYC #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop! Reliving happy moments from last month when I was visiting LA and was hanging out in Abbot Kinney, the Arts District Downtown and Silver Lake, all fab Hey Saturday locations. These gorgeous shots, captured by Vanessa, were taken in the Arts District and I’m loving the energy, colour and good vibes. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
The Two Key Ingredients for a Great Dating Profile 📣 new blog post alert 📣 A new study has just dropped that encourages dating app users to embrace originality when creating their dating profile text. Just as I encourage our clients to visually show how they stand out from others in their profile pictures, this study has backed up what dating experts, like James Preece, have been saying all along too… Lose the generic, cliché-ridden text and share something meaningful instead - like what makes you special/different from everyone else. The researchers attempted to understand what precisely makes for compelling profile text. They found that highly original text tended to contain one or more of the following 5 elements: • Metaphorical expressions (e.g. “I’m a rock-star at cooking curries” vs “I’m a good cook”) • Vivid descriptions & imagery ….. .. Head to the blog to read more - link in bio. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
Love this tried and tested hack for our clients who aren’t feeling ‘enough’ the day of their dating photoshoot. The moment they take hold of something that brings them joy - their camera, their yoga mat, their boxing gloves, their paintbrush or whatever it may be - they immediately relax, smile and feel at ease with themselves. I love this moment so much and it creates such great profile pics ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
These dating photos are so my jam. I’m adoring the bold colour and variety of backgrounds. Shouts out to Suze, who shot these on the streets of Clifton Village in Bristol. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
If your dating app pics make people smile, they’re going to feel happy while looking at your profile. That means they are waaaaay more likely to want to reach out and connect with you. And that’s the kind of response we love ✨ All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes