8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you

8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you

Today, my blog has been taken over by the lovely-named Love Mentor, Elizabeth Sullivan. She works with single, busy professional women who have been concentrating on their career and not focusing on their love life. With coaching, they start to make their love life a priority and identify and change any patterns causing them to date the wrong people. Today, she is highlighting the 8 reasons why online dating might not be working for you. 

8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you…

Online dating is booming, it’s becoming a more and more popular way to meet a partner and has led to many successful relationships. If it’s not working for you, here’s how you can maximise your chances of being one of those lucky couples…

1. Your profile isn’t appealing

People make instant decisions on whether or not they like the look of your profile, having great photos is really important – they need to be both up to date and flattering. Unless you look exactly the same as that super photo you had taken 5 years ago using them is a bad idea and likely to lead to resentment from dates when they meet you. Remember to complete the profile in its in entirety – when you leave gaps it can look as if you are not taking the process seriously. Share but don’t overdo it, people don’t want to everything about you immediately, it’s good to leave a little mystery so there is something they can be curious about. Be honest, be yourself, don’t say you jog or go to the gym regularly if it something you do twice a year, it will come out when you are getting to know someone…

2. You aren’t coming across as a positive person

One of the most attractive things about someone is their attitude. If you are coming across as negative either in your profile, early interactions or when you meet dates it may be off putting. One of my clients was getting a lot of interest from a dating website but as she interacted with guys the interest would tail off. When I looked at her messages I could see why, some of her messages were a bit negative. She hadn’t realised how she was coming across and once she changed her language, men responded very differently to her. Optimistic language matters a lot, everyone wants to be around happy people.

3. You have very narrow expectations

 If you are not being matched with anyone, widen your search criteria, i.e. consider dating someone 10 miles away rather than 5, widen your age range. Be open, will it really matter if she is one inch shorter than your ideal and has brown rather than blonde hair. Be open, explore, go on dates with people you are not your usual type, perhaps the reason you are single is because your ‘type’ isn’t actually right for you.

4. You are not being proactive enough

If you sign up for online dating, it’s important to actually be online and active. Otherwise ‘that’ guy or girl could get in touch and by the time you reply back they have met someone else. Check your chosen website regularly, at a minimum twice a week. If it will help you make an appointment in your diary i.e. Monday and Thursday evenings.

5. You are too keen to meet someone

Often the things we are most attached to have the habit of eluding us. Detachment i.e. doing the right things, taking the steps you need to meet someone– and being open to what happens, let go of the outcome i.e. I would love to meet someone, I have a great life though and if don’t meet someone, I will still enjoy my life. One of my clients took action, she went online dating, she hoped but didn’t expect anything to happen, and on her 8th date she met someone wonderful – a year and a half later they have moved in together and are still really happy.

6. You aren’t in the right place emotionally

If you haven’t moved on from a past relationship or relationships – that will make it hard for you to connect with someone new. You may think you are ready but if you have not done some work on resolving past relationships then that  may be coming across – people can usually tell if someone is not ready – even if you don’t make the classic mistakes like talk about your ex all night.

7. You are not giving out the right vibe

Show your playful, warm, light hearted side. Dating works when it’s fun, playful and light-hearted, that’s what makes people want to meet you and have a second date.

8. You are making fundamental dating mistakes

You might be rushing into it or acting too keen. Take it slowly. Timing matters, just because you have their mobile, and it’s 12 o’clock at night and you’re awake, doesn’t mean it’s a good time to text. As John Steinbeck said ‘If it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away’.

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
dating app profile
Don’t panic, we got you. We’ve been goofing off with our clients for over 11 years now, capturing so many beautiful, unique people doing their thing. People who have been bold enough to go for it and show us who they are. We are so in awe of you all ✨ If you’re going to get some profile pics taken, you may as well bring it!! 💪🏽 *Also boycott Starbucks & Free Palestine (this footage at the start is from the archives 😏) #profilepictures #datingprofile #datingtipsformen #datingtips #tinderpics #profilepic #datingapps #tinderpic #heysaturday #reelsinstagram
If you start getting too serious too quickly, on the apps, your heart might try to get in on the act and that way lies madness. Embrace dating as just another way to connect with others socially, no expectations other than maybe having a bit of a laugh. And just see where it takes you. Expectation is the death of fun on the apps. #profilepictures #datingprofile #datingtipsformen #datingtips #profilepic #tinderpics #datingapps #tinderpicsfordays #heysaturday
* We’re back * For dating photos that melt hearts (and burn loins 😉), you’re in the right place. Keep it locked on, cos we’re back. Ps shout out to all the incredible Hey Saturday photographers. Your work is ❤️‍🔥 Pps shout out to Amber who gave me the kick up the butt I needed to get back on it and start sharing the 100s and 100s of gorgeous dating profile pics taking up space in my camera roll. Love you, girl 😘 #reelsinstagram #reelaction #datingapps #datingtips #datingtipsformen #datingprofile #profilepictures #profilepic #tinderpics
👑Originality is King 👑 The more original your dating profile and pics, the more success you’ll have on the apps. Research backs this up. But how do you create dating photos that capture your unique, special voice and vibe? Start with this simple, but powerful, question: How do I stand out from other people? Write it all down - passions, interests, inspirations, values, vibe. All of it. And use that as your framework to create your profile pics. Think about how you can visually capture your story in your photos using props, clothes, body language, locations, vibe and attitude. It’s challenging to do this, but have fun with it. It’ll show in your pics. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Is it time for an originality check on your dating app profile? Recent research has backed up what dating experts having been saying for years, people respond particularly well to the use of originality in dating profiles. Higher originality in your dating profile is associated with the following: + increased belief in physical attraction + greater intelligence + higher romantic intention (ie how likely would you be to date this person?) + higher humour perception + lower perceptions of oddness/peculiarity Brilliant news then! They found nothing negative associated with adopting originality in your profile. Therefore we can all benefit from an originality check 🙌🏽 Check out my recent blog post with some ideas on how to review your own profile through the lens of originality. It’s kind of obvious when you think about it - that the more you reveal some real truths about yourself the easier it will be to connect with your kind of people - but it’s still something people haven’t mastered, tending to rely on well worn cliches and lots of generalisations in order to fit in. I’ll say that again - the more you reveal about your authentic self, the easier it’ll be to connect with your vibe of people 🙌🏽 Dating apps are not the place to fit it. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop whoop, it’s Megan in the house, shooting in the cool neighbourhood of The Custard Factory in Birmingham. J’adoring these shots, full of personality and good times. Photo credit: Megan for Hey Saturday, Birmingham. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #datingapps #datingtips #explorepage #profilephoto #profilepic #datingadvice #singlelifestyle #explorereels #singlemomlife #datingcoach #datingadvice #datingphoto #datingphotography #datingphotographerlondon #onlinedatingphotographer #newprofilepic #selflove #profilepictures #soulmate #birminghamphotographer #portaitphotography #personalbranding #personaldatingbrand #goodtimes #datingmindset #mindsetmatters
I hope I never have to hear the words ‘fatfishing’ ever again … yuck … but while we’re here, this is a useful and timely reminder to check that the set of photos you have on your dating app profile are up-to-date and pretty much representative of who you are today. Research has shown that if you use photos that misrepresent you in any way, your date will feel deceived. Eek. And since going on dates is a key way to find out how trustworthy someone is, you’ll have blown it before they’ve even sat down and got a drink in their hand. I’m not just talking about weight here, of course. We’re all changing all the time, inside and out and the more your profile pics can capture the latest iteration of you, the better it’ll be. As the woman says in the article, it isn’t so much their size that’s the issue, she’s into dad bods apparently, it’s to do with the deceit. You don’t want to build something with someone who’s ok to start a romantic connection based on that. What do you think? Have you experienced any form of this? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating photo tip Hold something 💛 When we’re in front of a camera lens, many of us feel self-conscious and often our first thought is ‘But what should I do with my hands?’ Holding something in your hand is a great way to relax your body and focus on looking and feeling good instead. Even better, is when you hold something you love 💛💛 When you hold something you love like a plant, your camera, your dog or guitar you feel instantly good, as your focus shifts from the shoot to something that brings you joy. It has the added benefit of telling people more about who you are, your personality interests and passions🍦 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hey Saturday - because you’re worth it. So much love for these gorgeous shots taken by Livia in one of our newest locations - Salford Quays. We’re loving this Manchester location as it tends to be pretty quiet, it’s by the water and there’s still lots of colour to add vibrancy and depth to the images. J’adore! Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Great profile pics attract attention. Authentic ones keep it 🔥 The biggest reason people don’t get second dates, according to Match, is because they look nothing like their profile pics. And yeah, no you aren’t going to be able to win them over on the date with your sparkling personality sadly … because, before they’ve even sat down, they feel deceived by you. And that ain’t a good look on a date. People want relationships with trustworthy people. Don’t blow it. Keep it real. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
There’s actual magic in relaxing and goofing off with your Hey Saturday photographer ✨ When people look at the photos captured by the photographer during these moments, they feel your joy, warmth and approachability. And they’ll more often than not want to connect. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the OG Dating Photographers. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
AI generated dating photos? What do you think? I mean what the f-ck? Don’t get me wrong, I’m fascinated by what’s occurring in the AI creativity space at the moment. AI generated paintings, photographs, songwriting etc. I’m fascinated yeah and kind of a little horrified at the same time, I think. So yeah, for $19 you can head to Photo AI, upload some photos of yourself and they’ll generate a set of dating profile pics. Hurrah, sounds like a bargain. Buuuut … when it comes to dating, well that’s something else entirely. Dating is deeply rooted in the human experience, right. So, IMO, I believe you need that connection between photographer and dater, that beautifully unique human-to-human contact… if you want to create gorgeously authentic profile pics. The word that comes to mind for me when looking at the profile pics in this article is creepy. Creepy AF. But that’s just me. I know I’m likely to biased but…it’ll always be a ‘hell no’ from me. What do you think? You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Ooh yes, love it when our clients show up willing to share their personal brand magic in front of the lens. They understand what makes them unique, they feel good about themselves and they’re up for experimenting and giving things a go in front of the camera. What a combo ✨ Big kudos to Alison for creating this awesome set on the streets of Williamsburg, absolute genius. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City You have been watching Hey Saturday: the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Wanna transform your dating life in 30 days? Um… yeah that reel went so much better in my head 😂 Can you tell I’ve had a month off from the ‘gram!? Jeez. Anyways ~ I’ve just shared a blogpost ‘30 Day Challenge Ideas that will Transform your Dating Life’. 30 day challenges can be life-changing …. but really adopting a dating challenge is about allowing yourself to become more playful and experimental with your dating life. The goal here isn’t to find your soulmate. It’s about + throwing yourself into the middle of life + chucking out your rule book + rewriting your dating story + discarding those awful checklists + taking risks + getting ghosted + challenging your expectations + accepting the sting of rejection + showing up as your wonderfully weird self + feeling cherished + getting butterflies Yeah there was no way my menopausal brain was going to remember all that for the reel, so no wonder I went off topic. But I digress… So yes, basically they help you throw yourself into the glorious, messy joy that is life. When it’s couched as a challenge though, you’ll find it’a much easier to accept whatever life throws at you, because it’s ‘just an experiment’. If you’re intrigued, there’s a link to the blog in our link-tree, go check it out and let us know how you get on 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. Any photos seen are taken by Hey Saturday photographers #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepaģes
2022 - you’ve been a trip I’ve said goodbye to both my beloved in-laws ❤️ And a different kind of goodbye to my therapist, after 5 years of working together…although the inner and outer transformation will go on, Richard, I promise. But, alongside the awesomeness of Hey Saturday, it’s also been a wild ride through lots of new and old favourite places from Paris to Los Angeles and it’s provided so many moments of mischievous joy with friends and family, but most of all with my favourite person on the planet who, as of a week ago, I’m lucky enough to call my hubby ❤️ 2023? Heck yeah, I’ll dance to that. #therapyiscool #growthmindset #adventuretime #traveltime #wanderlust #goodtimes #intentionalliving #explorereels #explore #adventures #mindsetmatters #intentionallife #travellife #therapyworks #traveltherapy #lifegoals #lifeisgood #everythingislove #everythingisenergy #everythingiscool #innerwork #innerwisdom #innertransformation #transformative #habloespañol #losangeleslife #parisianstyle
✨We are all gorgeous all the time always✨ Dating photoshoot fear? You got this… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
You get a couple of seconds to make an impression, so make those seconds count. Our fave dating photos are ones that are compelling, colourful, creative, story-telling, authentic, vibrant and, of course, ones that make you smile. Great set from Alison in downtown Manhattan, NYC. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, NYC #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
What are you into? Have fun with your profile pics and use them to visually show people the stuff you love doing and the kind of places you love going. They’ll go down a treat on a dating app near you. Creating your dating app pics could be a whole adventure not a chore… You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photo shoots. All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers, UK & US. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Whoop! Reliving happy moments from last month when I was visiting LA and was hanging out in Abbot Kinney, the Arts District Downtown and Silver Lake, all fab Hey Saturday locations. These gorgeous shots, captured by Vanessa, were taken in the Arts District and I’m loving the energy, colour and good vibes. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. All photos taken by US & UK Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs
The Two Key Ingredients for a Great Dating Profile 📣 new blog post alert 📣 A new study has just dropped that encourages dating app users to embrace originality when creating their dating profile text. Just as I encourage our clients to visually show how they stand out from others in their profile pictures, this study has backed up what dating experts, like James Preece, have been saying all along too… Lose the generic, cliché-ridden text and share something meaningful instead - like what makes you special/different from everyone else. The researchers attempted to understand what precisely makes for compelling profile text. They found that highly original text tended to contain one or more of the following 5 elements: • Metaphorical expressions (e.g. “I’m a rock-star at cooking curries” vs “I’m a good cook”) • Vivid descriptions & imagery ….. .. Head to the blog to read more - link in bio. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages #ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇʀᴇᴇʟs