8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you

8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you

Today, my blog has been taken over by the lovely-named Love Mentor, Elizabeth Sullivan. She works with single, busy professional women who have been concentrating on their career and not focusing on their love life. With coaching, they start to make their love life a priority and identify and change any patterns causing them to date the wrong people. Today, she is highlighting the 8 reasons why online dating might not be working for you. 

8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you…

Online dating is booming, it’s becoming a more and more popular way to meet a partner and has led to many successful relationships. If it’s not working for you, here’s how you can maximise your chances of being one of those lucky couples…

1. Your profile isn’t appealing

People make instant decisions on whether or not they like the look of your profile, having great photos is really important – they need to be both up to date and flattering. Unless you look exactly the same as that super photo you had taken 5 years ago using them is a bad idea and likely to lead to resentment from dates when they meet you. Remember to complete the profile in its in entirety – when you leave gaps it can look as if you are not taking the process seriously. Share but don’t overdo it, people don’t want to everything about you immediately, it’s good to leave a little mystery so there is something they can be curious about. Be honest, be yourself, don’t say you jog or go to the gym regularly if it something you do twice a year, it will come out when you are getting to know someone…

2. You aren’t coming across as a positive person

One of the most attractive things about someone is their attitude. If you are coming across as negative either in your profile, early interactions or when you meet dates it may be off putting. One of my clients was getting a lot of interest from a dating website but as she interacted with guys the interest would tail off. When I looked at her messages I could see why, some of her messages were a bit negative. She hadn’t realised how she was coming across and once she changed her language, men responded very differently to her. Optimistic language matters a lot, everyone wants to be around happy people.

3. You have very narrow expectations

 If you are not being matched with anyone, widen your search criteria, i.e. consider dating someone 10 miles away rather than 5, widen your age range. Be open, will it really matter if she is one inch shorter than your ideal and has brown rather than blonde hair. Be open, explore, go on dates with people you are not your usual type, perhaps the reason you are single is because your ‘type’ isn’t actually right for you.

4. You are not being proactive enough

If you sign up for online dating, it’s important to actually be online and active. Otherwise ‘that’ guy or girl could get in touch and by the time you reply back they have met someone else. Check your chosen website regularly, at a minimum twice a week. If it will help you make an appointment in your diary i.e. Monday and Thursday evenings.

5. You are too keen to meet someone

Often the things we are most attached to have the habit of eluding us. Detachment i.e. doing the right things, taking the steps you need to meet someone– and being open to what happens, let go of the outcome i.e. I would love to meet someone, I have a great life though and if don’t meet someone, I will still enjoy my life. One of my clients took action, she went online dating, she hoped but didn’t expect anything to happen, and on her 8th date she met someone wonderful – a year and a half later they have moved in together and are still really happy.

6. You aren’t in the right place emotionally

If you haven’t moved on from a past relationship or relationships – that will make it hard for you to connect with someone new. You may think you are ready but if you have not done some work on resolving past relationships then that  may be coming across – people can usually tell if someone is not ready – even if you don’t make the classic mistakes like talk about your ex all night.

7. You are not giving out the right vibe

Show your playful, warm, light hearted side. Dating works when it’s fun, playful and light-hearted, that’s what makes people want to meet you and have a second date.

8. You are making fundamental dating mistakes

You might be rushing into it or acting too keen. Take it slowly. Timing matters, just because you have their mobile, and it’s 12 o’clock at night and you’re awake, doesn’t mean it’s a good time to text. As John Steinbeck said ‘If it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away’.

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
dating app profile
What I love about our dating photoshoots is that people often come away with more than just standout dating pics. They come away with renewed confidence, a sense of adventure and a willingness to experiment, have fun and put themselves out there. They come away feeling good about what lies ahead. And that feeling is ✨ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepağes
When you're intentional with your profile pics, you're in charge of the message you're sharing with the world. And then you can attract more of the right kind of people. Loving these shots from our dating photo queen, Nicole shot on the streets of Shoreditch. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
So yes… making eye contacting in most of your dating app profile pics is hugely important, but … including one or two candid-style shots can increase likes by 15%, according to Hinge recently. We love a candid shot…they’re natural, relaxed and capture you just living & loving your life - adding lots of value to your dating profile ✨ All photos taken by UK & US Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Hello lovers! Our favourite vibe for a dating photoshoot is to show up with a willingness to experiment, express yourself and enjoy yourself ✨ Love the colour, the vibes and the personality captured here by our Queen of the North, Livia. Brava Livia, fab set. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Self-acceptance makes dating photoshoots and going on dates way more fun. Self-acceptance is my answer to pretty much everything. Don’t put your dating life on hold until you’ve reached your ideal weight, got your dream job, own that outfit you love… you are enough right now ✨ All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
My favourite dating app photos are the ones that show people looking happy, inspired and excited with life. Vanessa over in LA has captured a beautiful, vibrant and fun set in Abbot Kinney - just fab. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
How to Dating Photo… in This Heat 🔥🔥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday photographers. You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving these gorgeous shots captured on the colourful streets of the Northern Quarter in Manchester by our Queen of the north, Livia. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
When your skin is glowing, you’re feeling fly and you’re ready to take on the (dating) world, that’s the moment to go create some dating profile pics 🔥🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots ever. 💥 All photos taken by Hey Saturday online dating photographers 💥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #explore #explorepages
In today's episode of the happiest dating photoshoots on earth, we head over to the gorgeous neighbourhood of Notting Hill with Nicole as our guide, as she captures moments of joy, fun and good times. You can imagine how much I'm loving these. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
This is a reminder to schedule joy into your daily life, your dating life and your photoshoot 💫 You have been watching Hey Saturday; the happiest dating photoshoots on earth. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers, Alyssa is back in town shooting for Hey Saturday, NYC, yay. Absolutely love love loving these shots of this client captured in the Lower East Side and SoHo. Together they've created some head-turning, dating photo goodness. Photo credit: Alyssa for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
How can I take my dating app profile pics to the next level? Don’t just show them what you look like; tell them what you’re made of 🔥🔥 Ps My titles synced perfectly when I posted it. Thanks Insta Reels for messing them up 🙃 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on earth. All photos taken by awesome Hey Saturday online dating photographers. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The secret to having a good dating photoshoot is actually having a good time on your photoshoot (and Hey Saturday photographers know how to have a good time 🙌🏽). J'adoring this set created by Suze recently in Bristol. This client looks happy, confident and like she loves her life. The perfect vibe for dating profile pics. Kudos Suze. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Life is short and love is too important ❤️ #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We love dating profile pics that inspire joy! And these photos from one of Nicole's recent Shoreditch shoots are giving me all the joyful feels right now - LOVING this set. Do your dating pics surprise and delight? Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Gaining people’s trust when you’re dating is super important if you want to keep dating them. So if you show up on a first date looking really different than you portray in your profile pics, people will feel deceived… and it won’t matter how fun or lovely you are, any trust will go. The more you look like your dating app profile pics, the more honest you’ll seem and the easier it will be to attract second dates 🙌🏽🙌🏽 Great photos attract attention… But authentic ones keep it. All photos Hey Saturday photographers. You’ve been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots on the planet 🔥 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Plant dad! Wine and craft beer aficionado! Loving everything that's going on here. Shouts out to Vanessa for capturing this lil' bit of dating profile photo magic in the Arts District, Downtown LA Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Could your worst dating app pic be losing you matches? When we look at a dating profile, we (often subconsciously) tend to look for the best pic and then do a scan to find the ‘worst’ pic. We then make a decision about whether to connect with someone or not, often based off that ‘worst’ pic. Make sure you’re 100% happy with every single shot you include 🔥🔥 You have been watching Hey Saturday, the happiest dating photoshoots. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Where focus goes, energy flows. Be the star of every single one of your dating profile pics for maximum impact. Loving these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo, yet another gorgeous, stand out set. You bring the energy and authentic vibes, we'll bring the photo talent and good times. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos