8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you

8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you

Today, my blog has been taken over by the lovely-named Love Mentor, Elizabeth Sullivan. She works with single, busy professional women who have been concentrating on their career and not focusing on their love life. With coaching, they start to make their love life a priority and identify and change any patterns causing them to date the wrong people. Today, she is highlighting the 8 reasons why online dating might not be working for you. 

8 reasons online dating isn’t working for you…

Online dating is booming, it’s becoming a more and more popular way to meet a partner and has led to many successful relationships. If it’s not working for you, here’s how you can maximise your chances of being one of those lucky couples…

1. Your profile isn’t appealing

People make instant decisions on whether or not they like the look of your profile, having great photos is really important – they need to be both up to date and flattering. Unless you look exactly the same as that super photo you had taken 5 years ago using them is a bad idea and likely to lead to resentment from dates when they meet you. Remember to complete the profile in its in entirety – when you leave gaps it can look as if you are not taking the process seriously. Share but don’t overdo it, people don’t want to everything about you immediately, it’s good to leave a little mystery so there is something they can be curious about. Be honest, be yourself, don’t say you jog or go to the gym regularly if it something you do twice a year, it will come out when you are getting to know someone…

2. You aren’t coming across as a positive person

One of the most attractive things about someone is their attitude. If you are coming across as negative either in your profile, early interactions or when you meet dates it may be off putting. One of my clients was getting a lot of interest from a dating website but as she interacted with guys the interest would tail off. When I looked at her messages I could see why, some of her messages were a bit negative. She hadn’t realised how she was coming across and once she changed her language, men responded very differently to her. Optimistic language matters a lot, everyone wants to be around happy people.

3. You have very narrow expectations

 If you are not being matched with anyone, widen your search criteria, i.e. consider dating someone 10 miles away rather than 5, widen your age range. Be open, will it really matter if she is one inch shorter than your ideal and has brown rather than blonde hair. Be open, explore, go on dates with people you are not your usual type, perhaps the reason you are single is because your ‘type’ isn’t actually right for you.

4. You are not being proactive enough

If you sign up for online dating, it’s important to actually be online and active. Otherwise ‘that’ guy or girl could get in touch and by the time you reply back they have met someone else. Check your chosen website regularly, at a minimum twice a week. If it will help you make an appointment in your diary i.e. Monday and Thursday evenings.

5. You are too keen to meet someone

Often the things we are most attached to have the habit of eluding us. Detachment i.e. doing the right things, taking the steps you need to meet someone– and being open to what happens, let go of the outcome i.e. I would love to meet someone, I have a great life though and if don’t meet someone, I will still enjoy my life. One of my clients took action, she went online dating, she hoped but didn’t expect anything to happen, and on her 8th date she met someone wonderful – a year and a half later they have moved in together and are still really happy.

6. You aren’t in the right place emotionally

If you haven’t moved on from a past relationship or relationships – that will make it hard for you to connect with someone new. You may think you are ready but if you have not done some work on resolving past relationships then that  may be coming across – people can usually tell if someone is not ready – even if you don’t make the classic mistakes like talk about your ex all night.

7. You are not giving out the right vibe

Show your playful, warm, light hearted side. Dating works when it’s fun, playful and light-hearted, that’s what makes people want to meet you and have a second date.

8. You are making fundamental dating mistakes

You might be rushing into it or acting too keen. Take it slowly. Timing matters, just because you have their mobile, and it’s 12 o’clock at night and you’re awake, doesn’t mean it’s a good time to text. As John Steinbeck said ‘If it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away’.

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Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
Online Dating Photographers
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I think I know which photo is gonna be her ‘talking point’ pic 😆 Our favourite dating profile pics are those that make people feel happy, curious, interested and energised when they see them. This set, taken by Vanessa in Los Angeles, makes me feel all those things and more! Loving them, Vanessa. I love how the client turned up with the energy she wanted to showcase in her photos, dang🔥🔥 Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapp #datingtips #datingprofile #datingprofilepic #datingphoto #onlinedating #datingphotos #datingpics #onlinedatingtips #datingadvice #single #happysinglelife #brandidentity #personalbranding #personalbrandingtips #visualstorytelling #modernlove #modernromance #datingapps #datingmindset #goodtimeswithgoodpeople #goodtimes
Come for the cool dating profile pics, stay for the ...um cool dating profile pics. Today's big shout out goes to Kimi who shoots south London Loving the vibe of this shoot shot in Peckham. Photo credit: Kimi for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I'm in a New York state of a mind today and thought I'd share the vibe. I'm loving these shots taken by Alison in and around SoHo. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Earlier this year we launched a new Manchester location and I can’t believe I haven’t shared any pics yet. My bad… So this post is celebrating the joy, colour and spirit of our Salford Quays Hey Saturday photoshoots, thanks to Livia & her photoshoot magic ✨. Shouts out Livia, loving these. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Our photoshoots are an adventure, not a chore. Loving the adventure Vanessa and this client had in Abbot Kinney, LA. These photos are sweet as... Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
We see a crazy, bright dating future for this client. Huge shouts out to Alison, who shoots in and around Soho every week, creating dating photo awesomeness like this. Loving these. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Time to get out the party poppers 🎉 …. these shots are a whole nuther level of gorgeousness. Huge shouts out to Nicole for these gems, J’adore them so much. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
The real flex is creating dating profile pictures that stand out and help you do you. J'adoring these bold, colourful shots from Livia in the Northern Quarter. Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos #manchesterdating #manchester #manchesterstyle
We’re not just all about the city streets, we do park shoots too 🌿 and… well these profile pics are just a breath of fresh air. We're heading to the parks of Clifton Village in Bristol for these gorgeous shots, taken by our Bristolian super star, Suze. If you want some park photos, autumn is a beautiful time of year to do this… 🍁 Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Holy dating photos, I love these. Nicole does her thang at King's Cross with these cool shots. Sweeeeeet work, Nicole. Photo credit: Nicole for Hey Saturday, London #storytelling #visionboarding #datingapp #datingadvice #authentic #authenticity #tinder #newprofilepic #profilepictures #datingphotography #datingphotos #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotographer #brandingphotography #personalbranding #onlinedating #goodtimes #goodvibes #confidence #menstyle #brandidentity #romance #modernlove #joy #happylife
In today's episode of the happiest photoshoots on earth, we hotfoot it over to Bristol for these absolutely cool and stunning shots from our one & only Suze. Absolutely j'adoring these shots, Suze. Kudos to you and this fab client who created actual literal magic together. Photo credit: Suze for Hey Saturday, Bristol #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Some people just look like they know how to have a good time. Loving these ace dating profile pictures from Kate, who captures personality like a queen. Photo credit: Kate for Hey Saturday, London #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
So yeah, I did a thing… Hey Saturday now has a podcast mini series, ‘Shoot Your Shot - The Art of Dating Profile Pictures’, for all your dating profile photo needs in one place 🎧✨ Press play on this show for jam-packed mini episodes that will inspire you to experiment, have fun and aim higher when creating your profile pictures for online dating apps. I share my top mindset shifts and practical steps you can take to create dating profile photos that are both visually and emotionally compelling, to help you attract more and better quality matches on dating apps. This podcast is for people with a short attention-span but a big vision for their love lives 🙌🏽 Link in bio 👀 Hosted by me, Saskia Podcast logo and art by the incredible @teadayblogs from Coppie and Paste Produced by that cutie @northernmunki Podcast music by me @saskia_nelson in conjunction with GrooveApp (who did most of the heavy lifting to be fair) #datingpodcast #datingpodcasts #newpodcast #newpodcastalert #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happysingle #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Well these are just a whole vibe. Shouts out to Livia who transforms the streets of Manchester into the perfect Hey Saturday playground & huge kudos to the client who brought his A-game, dang 🙌🏽🏀 Photo credit: Livia for Hey Saturday, Manchester #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
Break time is over.. everyone back on the bus. Summer is speeding to an end but I still have our gorgeous summer shoots to remind me of warmer days. Loving the vibe of these shots taken by Alison in Dumbo - one of my favourite NYC locations. Photo credit: Alison for Hey Saturday, New York City #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
I love all our Hey Saturday locations, but I ain't gonna lie, I have a HUGE soft spot for our Abbot Kinney/Venice shoots. They always inspire joy, love and good times every time I see them - perfect for dating profile pictures. Big ups to Vanessa for these crazy-good shots. Photo credit: Vanessa for Hey Saturday, Los Angeles. #datingapps #onlinedating #datingprofilepic #datingtips #datinglife #singlelife #datingphotographer #onlinedatingphotographersla #onlinedatingphotographer #visualstorytelling #personalbranding #brandingphotography #modernlove #tinderpic #newprofilepic #goodtimes #creative #datingadvice #datingafterdivorce #happylife #joy
I was invited on @unhingedandbumbledup podcast the other day & it was probably the most fun I’ve had recording a podcast. Ahead of the show, I had to give them both a dating photo challenge and they presented the photos they created to me during the show. Tune into to see who does it better, Phil or Jane. It was a super close competition to be honest… but there was a clear winner 👏🏽👏🏽 I also shared • What makes an awesome dating profile pic • Why good photos are so important • My 4 top favourite date spots around the globe (I just couldn’t choose one) and much more… Have you subscribed to this chatty, fun show that shares experiences and opinions on how to navigate the tricky world of dating to come out on top? Thanks for having me Phil & Jane 🙏🏽 #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #newpodcast #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #datingpodcast #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
…how would you show up? I get a lot of emails from clients asking how and where they can do their photoshoots without many people seeing them. Ummm …. To be fair, it’d probably be my first question too, if I were in their shoes. I’m not exactly known for being a natural badass in front of the lens (there’s a reason I prefer being behind it!). But, thing is, those people really don’t care about what’s happening in your photoshoot. And why would you concern yourself worrying about what people - you don’t even know - think about you for 30 seconds? Fear makes no sense, even after you unpick it and challenge it. It’s still there. Being fearless is actually really hard… however you could try this… choose to ‘act as if’ you’re fearless! Yeah, how would that look? How would you show up then? Really think about how you would approach it. And then, just as an experiment, do that. #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling #onlinedatingphotographer #datingphotos
+ The Ex-Philes Podcast + I had the pleasure of being invited onto an episode of the dating podcast, ’The Ex-Philes: Break-ups, Broken Hearts and Moving On’ recently & was interviewed by the two awesome hosts, Clair Lofthouse & Janice Formichella. Thank you so much to both of you, I really enjoyed connecting & sharing my top dating profile picture expertise with you. If you are getting over a breakup? I would highly recommend tuning in & subscribing. Ex-Philes is a weekly podcast all about healing a broken heart, building your confidence, and moving forward in an empowered way. Their favorite topics include healing from heartbreak, dating, ghosting, no contact, toxic relationships, communication, self-help, attachment styles and more. Thanks Janice & Clair 🙏🏽 #onlinedatingphotographer #datingpodcast #singlewomen #singlemen #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #datingapp #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
Dating profiles have the potential to be intriguing; they can be a window into someone’s mind, revealing their unique way of looking at & thinking about the world. Make sure you grab that opportunity to show people what you’re about & what you’re made of 🔥🔥 And remember, your profile pics are the most powerful way to share a lot of information about you at just a glance. #onlinedatingphotographer #singlewomen #singlemen #onlinedatingapps #datingphotos #singlelifestyle #singleandhappy #modernlove #mindset #loveyourself #datingwithapurpose #datingadvice #datinglife #profilepictures #profilepic #profilepics #profilephoto #onlinedating #datingphototips #happylife #happysingle #relationshipgoals #personalbrandingtips #dating app #datingapps #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen #profilephotography #visualstorytelling
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